Clark Kent is a rookie compared to him.

Even though we barely knew each other for 5 minutes, he offered an entire day to show me things.
“What’s the catch?” – I wondered, baffled by the amount of friendliness.
There was none, whatsoever. Such generosity came from within.

It started with a trip towards our “rival” city: Nijmegen; Arnhem’s Nemesis. The route should’ve taken 1 hour by cycling, but the headwind was stronger than anything I’ve ever seen.
People were passing me without pedaling an inch – not even sailors could match their speed in full wind, while I was technically cycling in one place.

This particular journey made me bless the day when I decided to throw my sanity away and conquer the country on a fiets¹. I know that there is nothing I can’t do ever since.

The nature around me was, as always, astonishing. The farmlands were filled with goats, cows and sheep. Little lambs were sleeping on the grass – or eating it. Fluffy clouds stretching their limbs on the evergreen fields. This country is a Dream, and I get to wake up in it every day.

Even atheists would agree that the Garden of Eden is here.
It makes you forget about your worries – even the wind; blowing into your face with a 90 degree accuracy.
Occasionally it made more sense to get off the bike and just start walking, you still moved faster than if you kept pedaling. The bare bridges and fields made it impossible to fight it, there were no buildings around to weaken the strength of the wind.

Not yielding to nature’s deeds eventually led me to him. He was standing at the edge of the shore, eager to dive into the Waal. I saw him stare into infinity, savoring the moment he lives in. Not even the sound of a thousand seagulls could disturb him. A genuine smile appeared on his face when he saw me – you could see his lips curve from miles away. An everwarm energy that touches every human being.

“Do you prefer Dutch or English?“
– Dutch, mostly
So we continued in English – I couldn’t keep up with him.
“Ready to take a dip?“
I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since last week. It was around 4 degrees, so the water worked like liquid nitrogen. Before we turned the place into a nudist beach, he showed me a breathing technique from Wim Hof, the famous Iceman with Dutch origins.
With deep inhalations and exhalations repeated very quickly, our toes and legs started tingling – you might even feel a little dizzy, but not to the point where you’d lose control over your body. At the last expiration, there was a 2 minute period where we didn’t need oxygen. Our body was so filled with it, that breathing became unnecessary. You start to feel a kind of connection with yourself that most of us probably never had. It clears your mind the same way you wipe your ass – all the shit comes out of it.

We took off our clothes (underwear remains) and started to walk towards the water in bare skin. Until my ankles sank in, everything was okay. The second it got the muscles above it, my legs fired up in pain. It was so intense that I could barely speak, my lower body was burning with the heat of the Devil’s favorite furnace, while an army of needles were piercing my skin from every direction of the wind.
“It’s okay. Just Breathe” – He guided me in, slowly.
I was determined to rather die than to leave, which kept me in the river against all the brain cells telling me to run out and scream. Soon our nipples were tickled by the waves, but we just sat there silently, holding the elbows in front of our bodies. The pain was gone in a minute, so did the shaking and freezing. We spent there 2 or 3 minutes, but when we came out it felt like we were made out of steel. No degree of wind could cause us to flinch, not a single twitch. A girl was walking by, dressed up heavily – Sweater, scarf, coat; everything to protect her against the cold.
Her eyes popped.
She saw two crazy dudes emerge from the water when the temperature was barely above 0.
For us, it wasn’t a problem anymore. My body felt indestructible. Functioning nerves were completely off the menu though, not even the friction of the towel was sensible.

“Let’s warm ourselves up” – came the remark, and off we went to become Rocky Balboa.

He led me to a set of stairs not far from the river, where the final judgement would be delivered. Even though I had two lungs, there was no way I could catch up with the Flash of the Dutch. His legs were striking the steps with the speed of an eagle leaping for his dinner. I felt like an old goat compared to him, but he didn’t let me give in until I finished with everything. Jumping up and down on one leg for minutes, while the oxygen in the air was burning faster than Usain Bolt’s gold medal performances.

– My lungs are dead Man
“Come on, it’s almost over. Just 2 more rounds, okay?“
That’s how you lead – let people get the most out of every opportunity, even if it’s well above their limits. The delicate game of inspiring. By the time we were finished, my legs acted like driftwood on the Sea, the waves of the wind carried them wherever they pleased.
This was the moment when he knew I was ready to do some BJJ – or Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, if you will.
“Your horoscope says doing Martial Arts would be great for your personality” – a voice flashed in, the one I haven’t heard in half a year
Can the stars help us figure out who we are, or it’s just a humbug and nothing more?

We hopped on the bike and were on the way to the Dojo, when the conversation got a little more personal. The views we had on the World were similar – I felt Lucky to meet with someone who has the same ideal; plus two times the work and effort to make it tangible.
Reading, Coding, Public Speaking, Singing, Martial Arts, Writing – this isn’t even half the list.
How colorful can a person actually be? All these wonderful qualities that fill people up with energy. I couldn’t ask for a better example on “How to Live“

After he successfully smuggled me in without a gym membership, we put on the Gis* and agreed to go all in.
He wanted to start off by teaching me a few tricks, but even the basics caused some trouble in the beginning. The movements and their complexity was an uncharted territory. The awareness in the limbs, the control over the body – it requires years to achieve Mastery. It’s an Art, just like painting, writing or dancing.

If you could pick something to be World-class in, what would it be?

He taught me how to escape and get away from strong grips, then we moved on to take-downs and tactics. The difference was 20+ kg for his advantage, but it didn’t feel impossible to train. The knowledge and experience he gathered over the years made him a teacher of excellent quality – there wasn’t a single minute where I felt bored or strained. When it came to sparring, my abs started to burn with the Sun’s heat. I was fighting with all my might and will – the efforts weren’t in vain. But Boy, did he kick my ass in a blink.
Some positions felt kinda gay, especially with comments like “Get on top of me” “Sit on me” “Between my legs, that’s it“.
If you’re not used to this, it can feel a little weird – though when my pants came off during fighting, it would’ve been hard to explain if someone walked in.

The amount of sweat dripping from my body could’ve formed a stalactite, but I’ve found something to fight for finally: #61 “Master one of the Martial Arts (and Get a Black Belt in it) – It’s coming!

He offered to cool down and rest at his place, where I was treated like a member of his Family. It felt like the word “stranger” didn’t exist to him. Can you imagine? An army of architects couldn’t build such a bridge between two souls like he did. Even though I only knew him for half a day, it felt like having a Brother for 20 years. After a brief introduction to his Girlfriend, they gave me tea, cookies, and a warm welcome in this cold season. This could hardly be more gezellig².

The plan was to do some gymnastics, because the entire day so far wasn’t all about training – then have a well-deserved meal. We went to a park to practice Handstands, Human Flags and Front Levers to strengthen our bodies, though the wind was still strong enough to ruin all of these.

After 30 minutes we were drained completely, so we traded the topic of sport to growth and business. Where are all the people like him?
For the first time in my Life, I’ve found a competitor for the title:
The Dad of a Lifetime.
Not just for a month, a year or a decade.
Being the Best Dad for all eternity.
That’s a path worth following, and he just gave me the incentive to put that extra effort in.

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”

– Jim Valvano

After a day of endless physical activities, his couch became our holy grail. By then, we were fluently discussing ideas and giving tips from our expertise. He “juggled so many balls” simultaneously, it was baffling to see the amount of energy he can spare for such a wide range of activities.
A polymath in the making.

It didn’t take long until his Girlfriend surprised us with a wonderful vegan dish, while I had the opportunity to get a glimpse of her studies and discover the depths of human rights & politics. If that sounds too Manly, you should’ve seen my face when she mentioned hating the warm water in the gym – What a Lady! COLD SHOWERS FOR THE WIN!

At this point I probably looked (and felt) like a bowl of soaked raisins, but that didn’t stop them from treating me like a human being. After two decades of rejection and fear, such things seemed impossible or unreal.
Now here I am, only 1 year after taking the leap of faith – and the whole World has changed. I wonder how I’ll feel about my current fears in a few years.

What is one thing you feared for many years, and now you’re forever over it?

The cherry on the cake is yet to be revealed: There was tailwind all the way. I was gliding through the city like a warm knife melting butter & cheese. On such days, existence is the greatest gift. Seeing people cycle all over the place made me smile until my cheeks were in pain.
Nijmegen is a beautiful place, I even stopped on the bridge to admire the view in the evening. It made the journey home a flawless finish of the day.

Now I know that great Friends can be found anywhere, we just need to be willing to look for them.

Take care,
Erik

2020.01.14 – Day 358

[Dutch Dictionary]
Fiets ¹ – Bicycle
Gezellig ² – Wikipedia*

Gi* – Uniform for training