How do you strengthen a friendship?
You probably have a few solid ideas already.
Order pizza and watch a movie, get drunk and go out on a Friday evening, support them when they need it, continuous honesty and reliability, a surprise or a gift, cooking a delicious meal; or offering an open ear to listen to their great news or difficulties.

If we really care about our buddies, none of these should be challenging.
But is there a #1 quality that builds a bond that’ll last through the decades?

We decided to implement 3 major changes to our routines.
– The first one was that we support each other in overcoming our weaknesses.
It requires honesty and humbleness.
“Yea, I suck at this but I want to be better“
Admitting that can be difficult if the ego takes over, but that won’t help us grow into a better version of ourselves. After all, we’re competing for the “Best Dad on the World” title. Which means serious work and commitment.
– The second one was to wake up every day at 5 am and meditate for 30 minutes. No excuses.
This keeps us accountable, not only for ourselves but for the other as well. Even if we’re sleeping elsewhere, first thing in the morning when the alarm goes off is to text: Goooood morning Brother!
Such discipline strengthens our character and gives us plenty of extra time to work on our projects.
– The third one was a FartJar©, or in Hungarian “Fingüveg“.
When two man lives together, it’s inevitable that some unintended burps or farts slip out without being noticed. But some of them, on the other, are loud and not very pleasant. This is where the Fartjar© comes in the picture. To become more civilized and well-behaved, we fight this tendency with a punishment of 1€ for every unsolicited gas package, which we’ll spend on mutual goals and projects. As a fun fact, 24 hours after it was implemented, it reduced the farts in the household by 93%.
If your friend, brother or husband is struggling with a similar problem, I suggest you try that.
Trust me, it’ll help.

Now let’s jump to the story of today:

It took an hour, but he did it.
2 pumps, times 25 minutes, only to find a 3rd one in a box that fixes it under 5 minutes.
Still, he didn’t give up, and I admired it.
I’ve never seen a Man be so dedicated to inflate a bicycle wheel.

It was already 7:30 when we left, so there was still time to go for a swim while the sun rises.
The weather was slightly warm with only a little wind, one of my favorites.
As I cycled next to his scooter, he looked at me with a smile on his face and told me to grab him.
The second I gripped his shoulder, our speed doubled and I had to seriously focus on keeping the wheel in balance.

I lost another cultural virginity: Riding a bike, boosted by a motorfiets¹.
We rode from the Center of Nijmegen all the way to a place filled with immense green.
The river, the beach, the trees – not a single building.
We were riding in the middle of the road, while the wind flapped my hair everywhere in my face as he pushed us up all the way to ~40. [km/h]
Never rolled on a bike with such speed. Even if a car forced us to split, I still had the urge to sing Alone Together from Fall Out Boy as we flow through the morning breeze.
The second it went away, I extended my arm, shouted “Transformers Unite!” and grabbed into him.
We were flying on wheels, riding in space – all this on a cheap scooter that could take us all the way to infinity.
This was the moment when the term “Wingman” revealed its true meaning.
Side by side with a brother, crossing through the country to swim a little and do something crazy. Give me a better example for friendship.

When we found the place, a brown bunny ran through the field to let us know that nature rules here.
We parked our bikes and started to walk towards the beach, but a group of wild horses stood right next to the entrance.
One of them seemingly had 5 legs, but it turned out to be a BBC.
The ladies were just laying next to him, one of them giving out the famous 5 second fart with a dancing tail. Without approaching his harem, I tried my best to feed him, but he wasn’t interested in eating from my palm, probably because he was surrounded with fresh weed.
Nevertheless, here are some pics.

Sweet, aren’t they?

Unfortunately when we reached the shore, prepared to take a dip, we were spotted by officers patrolling the beach– making it impossible to swim, unless we wanted a fine combined with shouting.
We had to find another place, which led us to stumble into a 5€ bill in the middle of nowhere towards the exit.
Remember the fart jar and the dancing tail? Nature plays and nature pays.

We jumped on the bike and started searching for other possibilities, even if it meant giving up on the river for a smaller lake. After one of the splits, I made the mistake to misjudge the distance between his elbow and my wheel, ending up with a big smack, sending both of us sideways as we collided like two billiard balls on a national championship. We went with ~30, which means a crash would’ve caused serious damage, but luckily both of us managed to gain control before we would fall off or fly away.
The second try was successful, and my hair was flapping again everywhere in my face, while my smile was painfully big.

In 10 minutes he noticed another road leading to the beach, where we immediately took off our shirts, socks and panties, so we would only go in with a thin underwear, just like on the day when we solidified our friendship. Except that instead of winter, now it was spring.
At waist level, it was time to dive in.
“At 5 we sink, ready? On-“
– FIVE! *SPLASH*
He goes right in, not letting a single moment go to waste

After our skin became resistant like steel, we noticed how the wind blows tiny fluffy white seeds off of the trees, making it feel like swimming in a snowstorm of the galaxy.
That’s when we saw an old building, the remains of a tower; possibly.

The Tarzan in me couldn’t leave without conquering the top of it, so we quickly shot a few pictures of each other, living the monkey life as it’s supposed to be. Just the usual “look in the distance and flex that booty”.

Not gonna lie, my legs were trembling. The wind was stronger here and falling would’ve meant breaking a leg, or maybe even dying. When he finished shooting the pics, he immediately came to hold me as I tried to climb down safely
What a crazy morning, and it wasn’t even 10 when we decided to leave.

This should make it clear that you can make an adventure out of any day.
Even if you have to pump a bicycle wheel for 1 hour straight.
The magic is out there, waiting for you to spell it.

What’s your #1 approach for building a lasting friendship?

Take care,
Erik

2020.05.22 – Day 487

[Dictionary]
(NL) Motorfiets¹ – Motorbike