“If I’m ever going to write about this day, you bet it’s gonna start with how you’re always late”

It’s 3 o’ clock, Friday.
I’m sitting on the couch, meditating. Preparing for the upcoming hours mentally.
The house is clean, I went through the whole place and erased every little trace of our “Man cave”.
A box full of snacks was waiting in the kitchen, filled with delicious grapes, almonds, cashews and blueberries.
I loaded the fridge with groceries yesterday, so I wouldn’t have to worry about getting the ingredients today.
Everything was ready, but something was not in place.

It was her, or more specifically her memory.

“YOU SAID SATURDAY
FUCK
You said Friday”
Comes the response to “On the way?”

We didn’t even begin, but meditating seemed to pay off [big time] already.

This couldn’t be more her, honestly.
Fast-forward 1,5 hours, she appears.

Grey hair, glasses, a soft brown top and light blue jeans.
No ugly shoes deze keer¹ [†]
– The last time we saw each other was on Day 180, 328 days passed since.
I did the quick math as I looked at the Lady who showed me both ends of the sanity scale.
She was a lot more stable now. Confident, happy.
Her eyes were oozing energy, and that smile made me calm like a sleeping pill.

The tranquility wouldn’t last long though, due to her exceptional ability to annoy me.
Seconds after we left the house, she began ranting and wouldn’t shut up for the next 30 to 40 minutes.
How can you enjoy being pissed? – I was wondering, but my lips just kept curving towards my ears.

We were walking towards a forest nearby my place, “The backyard of Nijmegen” as people call it.
Half the City could hear what she was saying, because every word she said came out with the force of a Ferrari’s engine. I just walked next to her, silently. Taking delight in the passion and intensity she spoke with.
This was something I really missed, more than I thought I did.

– You were my Beginner’s Luck. A trial version to get a taste of what awaits.
It’s a concept from one of my favorite books, The Alchemist.
Those who start to follow their heart/dreams get a little help in the beginning; a kind of thumbs up from the Universe, signaling that you’re going the right way. For me, she was it. Without her, Life wouldn’t be the same.
That’s pretty much all I wanted to say. 5 seconds later the entire forest was once again taken over by a shouting young lady.

After an hour of walking, we picked a fallen tree to sit on and devour that delicious box of nuts and berries.
–It’s great to see you in such a good shape… – I remarked, while she was feasting on blueberries
…that doesn’t mean you’re not insane, but still!
She playfully threw a piece of nut in my face.
“A huge waste of cashew, but very necessary!”

I couldn’t look at anything but her face. Those blue eyes were tattooed in my brain since the first time I saw them, but seeing it again in real life would’ve been a sin to waste.
It’s pretty hard to conjure up all the other details – The environment, the feelings, the topics.
I got lost in it, but the sensation of happiness was constantly pulsing from the fact that she is a lot better than she used to be. That was all I needed to hear.

 “Can’t have the highs without the lows!” – we came to the conclusion every 5 minutes.
That’s what you get when you date with crazy chicks.

On the way back she switched to Dutch for a minute:
“Hoe is jouw Nederlands?” [How’s your Dutch?]
– Best kut. [Quite shitty]
That was all I could come up with. Suddenly it felt like everything I’ve learned over the past one and a half year simply disappeared. I remember going keihard² on studying before she decided to take me home and introduce me.
I mean, who doesn’t try his best when the parents are about to see him?
Then she was once again shouting, letting her voice echo through the trees. At one point she let out a loud scream that shook the leaves off the trees:
“I DIDN’T SHOWER IN 4-5 DAYS!”
Out of context, of course, it’s a weird thing to hear from a Girl on the street.
But she wasn’t concerned about the whole city hearing it, and at this point I had intense muscle aches from smiling.

When we got home, it was time to show her my cooking skills.
I wanted to put a blindfold on her face, with 2 very strong reasons behind it:
1) It was supposed to be a surprise. I was a terrible cook when she met me, but that changed over the course of a year, and it was time to show the fruit of all the hard work and laboring.
2) I could actually focus on cooking instead of having to listen to 600 unsolicited advice on how I should do my thing.

She said no, but agreed to be chill.
It took her less than a minute to turn into Gordon Ramsay and smart-ass about the way I was cutting things.
Remember the little meditation I did before she came?
God bless the monk who invented it.

While the lentils were cooking, I took her out to the balcony and did some squats while she was sitting on me.
“The things you do to get closer to my v*****…” – she said mockingly
One of the easiest ways to release stress is through training, and believe me, Life with her is never boring.
She jumped on the pull up bar, did a few chin-ups and proudly stared at the tiny hill on her arm where her biceps is.
“It’s there! See?!“

I nodded comically, then we went back to the kitchen to finish this masterpiece:

The ingredients are: carrots, kidney & chili beans, red lentils, mushrooms, paprika and a touch of spinach, sprinkled with salt, pepper and our secret favorite: Smooth, white powder made out of garlic.

I could’ve used a little more seasoning, but it was still light years away from the early days.
The fried onions on top gave a crunchy texture to the soupy dish. It was a proper way to fulfill my very first promise I made to her last February: To take her on an amazing vegan date.
Thought it wasn’t a date, it was vegan, and it was amazing.

We reminisced about our past memories.
About how she reduced my grocery bill when I could barely afford to pay for basic things, the night she taught me a recipe I ended up making for 8+ months every week, and the day when she took me to the Sea.
I remembered eating apple pie for the first time, cuddling and watching Netflix. Cruising through the streets of Eindhoven in the evening, and falling heavily for a Girl who literally just came out of a mental hospital when she met me.

Now I know that if I’m ever again looking for a brilliant date, the closest psychiatry is the perfect place to begin.

Jokes aside, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Not the smartest, but no young man became wise without first being stupid.

“You’re very important to me, Norbi*. Your endless positivity pulled me out of that dark place, and gave me back the will to Live. I’ll never forget this”
She gave me Strength, Faith and Love when I most needed it.
Though it was brief, nothing came close to that in intensity.
“I mean, if you ever needed a kidney, and our blood type allows it… you can count on it“
That’s how sweet she is.

It took me a long time to understand that an ungodly chemistry and long-term compatibility are two separate things. When I finally did, the romantic love changed shape, and allowed me to care deeply without feeling emptiness or pain. I’m pretty sure I could still cycle through a whole country just to see her smile for a minute, but if things go well, that won’t be necessary.

I could write a novel about the next 120 minutes, due to the fact that she still lights up every single cell in my body – just by looking at me for half a minute – but this blog is fairly family friendly, so I’ll keep it short and sweet:
We’re like a pair of magnets with a different polarity – when there’s distance between the two piece, nothing happens, but once we’re in one space, there’s an unstoppable force that pulls us closer in a way we can’t resist. We have our own law of gravity.
That’s our chemistry explained with physics.

This was our last day before She moves away to Ireland next week.
We walked out of the apartment silently.
Standing next to her car, I said goodbye and she gave me a kiss.
“No, don’t say it like this”
It sounded too permanent, as if it was the last time she saw me.
– Right; Take care Nyuszi**. Really.

No farewells, just a long gaze.

She got in the car with a smile, and I watched as my little bird once again flew away.
This time she’s in good hands, and I couldn’t ask for a better gift than knowing that someone I truly care for is happy and safe.

In 5 minutes an insane storm appeared, coloring the sky with blue flashes of bright lightnings, sending shockwaves so strong that they made the entire building shake.
She is a Woman made of sunshine mixed with a little hurricane.
“Can’t have the highs without the lows, hé?” – I mumbled, pulled the curtains and fell asleep.

2020.06.12 – Day 508

Writer’s notes:
[†] She appeared on the exact anniversary day of last year’s surprise visit.
On that day, I quoted her the following:

“Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.”

– The Alchemist

[Dutch Dictionary]
Deze keer¹ – This time
Keihard² – Die-hard, extremely hard

*Norbi – My second name
** – Her Nickname