• The Ingredients:
  
  Dough:
• Apple Pie Mix [Albert Heijn]
• Egg (1)
• 160g Butter
• Lemon (Grated peel)
  Filling:
• 6 Apples (Crisp-sour type)
• Nuts (Walnuts or Almonds)
• Lemon (Juice)
• Cinnamon
  Kitchen Appliances:
• Oven
• Ø24cm square baking form

I was ready to turn my Life upside down and conquer the World of Pies.

The day before, I was on my way to the neighbor city for a training session, with a distance of 20km to cover. Cycling on the road, about halfway, I stumbled upon a street stand filled with walnuts and a cardboard sign saying: “€2 – 0,5kg”
They were already measured and packed in, next to a tiny steel box where the coins should be placed.
“Geweldig!¹“

Such a coincidence couldn’t be more reassuring.
I promptly fished out my wallet and paid for the delicious babies.
A minute later as I turned left on that exact street, I saw a chicken the size of a squirrel chase a 2 year old child on a fiets²!
It got loose from a farmer’s garden, and began to run after little kids.
The mom was trying to gently push the beast away, but he was relentless, obsessed with his mission to assert dominance on a small human being.
I wish I had recorded it, everyone was laughing on the street, you don’t see such a hilarious spectacle on a daily.

After a decent calisthenics session with my buddy, another 1 hour cycling followed back to my place.
Filled with confidence and energy, I began setting the walnuts free.
Man, was it ridiculously easy!
I remember being 9 or 8, smashing walnuts with a hammer on our concrete driveway, trying to extract the fruit of our nut-tree, with barely any crumbles coming out of the hard shell, while my fingers were bleeding under my nails from all the pointless scratch attempts.

But these were fucking effortless, as if the protective layer was made out of paper.
One hit with the hammer, split them, and they all fell out basically intact.
It took me ~25 minutes to do the whole bag. The last piece came out in full, not a single molecule was broken.

Then came the dough test; the scariest part – since I’ve never done anything like that.
– Grab a bowl and pour the mix in it.
– Scramble/Beat an egg and use 2/3 of the liquid
– Add (vegan) butter, measured out on the scale down to the last gram: 160g
– Sprinkle the grated lemon peel for a little extra fanciness.

Then, the Play-Doh time began.
It was like being a 4 year old again, but this time I wasn’t (yet) going to eat the wet sand.
There were no thoughts of fear, stress or struggle, just me and the dough.
After fully kneading it into a yellow bun, the job was almost done.

I buttered the bottom of the springform pan, using my fingers like a kid – due to the lack of a cooking brush in our inventory – and tried to evenly spread 2/3 of the dough there.
At first, I had a wonderful idea of flattening it out on a freshly washed wooden board, and using the shape of the spring form to make the size flawlessly adjustable. What I forgot, is that dough and wet wood don’t do well – especially without flour – so it properly got glued down on the board. I had to scratch it off with a spatula and start anew.

Round 2: Successfully managed to not mess it up by hand and evenly spread the dough on the bottom of the pan. Another quick smearing on the sides with more butter, and I could carefully build the walls of my square pite³

The result looked like this:

Step 1: Check.

Step 2: Cut the apples in fairly even pieces.

The trick was the following: Cut it in half, then those two halves in half, and halve those halves into halves.
Simple as fuck. From then on, it’s just 4 more cuts into cubes, and you’re done.
Exactly 32 slices/apple.

Add a touch of cinnamon and a (whole) lemon’s juice to keep it from oxidation, then break the delicious walnuts in it for extra satisfaction.

Jackpot, isn’t it?

Lastly, struggle to flatten out the remaining 1/3 of the dough in stripes, place them on top of the cake and gently cover them with the rest of the beaten up egg – by putting your fingertip in the bowl and smear it everywhere on top of it; again, no brush in the kitchen.

Pre-heat the oven to 180° Celsius (356° Fahrenheit), put it in and wait 45 minutes.

I could not believe how easy it was, or at least how the thought of failure didn’t even occur once.
My level of confidence in cooking raised significantly, especially after challenging myself to do more of these lately.
I’m only 996 different recipes away from becoming a Chef.
With such speed, it’ll only take 30 years to accomplish!

The writing part is more difficult than the cooking; I definitely didn’t see that coming!
In the future, I’ll try focus on the essential steps of the cooking, rather than writing a whole story.
That should help a bit.

The result, by the way, looked like this:

Gorgeous, isn’t she?
It tastes even better than how it looks, trust me.

The very first bite made me fall in love with it; the juicy pieces mixed with the crunchy parts, all this to the scent of cinnamon…The definition of tastegasm.

– [Holy shit] How could I not do this all along?

When I devoured one quarter, a thought kicked me in the butt:
“Whohoho, the neighbors! They’ll be charmed!“

I immediately jumped in a shirt and knocked on their door.
No answer, let’s knock once more.
Their daughter opens the door, and we have a cute little chat about how it’s not the right time at all. Her parents were taking a nap.
– Do you have a plate?
She goes to the kitchen to bring it, only to realize that it’s too high up, and she can’t reach it.
I went in the house to fix it, when his father suddenly appeared behind me:
“Hééé, do you want some apple pie?”
I guess he didn’t mind waking up to a freshly baked cake, he just smiled, thanked me and took the plate.

Left side: Done
I sent a text to my neighbor on the right, we met on the balcony in a blink of an eye.
He put it to the test, and even though it my was first time ever, he said it’s certainly a success.

Now the question is: What’s next?

Take care and bake well,
Erik

2020.11.15. – Day 664

Bucket List Progress:
– Become a Chef: Make 1000 dishes (#52) – [1000/4]

Writer’s Notes:
[NL] Geweldig!¹ – [ENG] Awesome! – [HU] Fantasztikus!
[NL] Fiets² – [ENG] Bicycle – [HU] Kerékpár
[HU] Pite³ – [ENG] Pie – [NL] Taart