“Bhrro if you want…FREE FOOD – kom1 to my work now.
Kom to my fucking work voor2 a lot of free food.”
– Sounded the voice message from a True Friend.
I was reading the Alchemist in Dutch while I was a little high, so it took some time until I sorted things out.
Luckily the Camera was still charged&loaded, so I picked it up and cycled there with an appetite of a Mammoth and the enlightenment of Einstein.
When I entered the restaurant, he was fully dressed in his waiter clothes. Never seen him in those before, but it looked very sharp on him. The second I arrived he offered a seat and some insanely delicious Mexican soup with kip3
Since meat was off the menu for a while, I didn’t even remember the last time I had chicken on my plate.
In Hungary it’s sooo basic to eat it on a daily basis. Perhaps even 3 times a day – but now being immune to the urge feels vreemd4.
It’s probably similar to cigarettes or sex; Sometimes you just get some even if you don’t need it.
As he was cleaning the bowls and the plates I noticed how beautiful the lights are – and how cool a Polaroid would be, if we managed to set up the perfect frame.
“Man, sta hier5“
– Alhrigh Bhrro*
“Flex your favorite rapper pose”
– Wat
“Just do it”
*Click; bzzz*
With his 200+ cm, this totally fits him.
To be honest it’s very weird to experience all this.
When I came here In January all I had was a thin wallet and enough clothes for 2 weeks; and now I’m here living the dreams that seemed impossible just a few weeks in.
It’s just incredible.
Taking pictures with my Polaroid camera, talking in Dutch with my friends and getting closer to the things on my Bucket List every day.
It’s hard to process how these things happen “so fast“
Every single day seems like a miracle if I just look back on all the wonderful moments I’ve had since I came here.
There is magic in every corner of this world, and all it takes is just a little practice to see it.
“Everyone knew it was impossible, until someone who didn’t know came along and did it.“
– The picture on the Wall
– You know what it means?
“Of course”
– That’s you Bhrro. You came from nothing and now you speak the language, work hard and chase dreams. It’s amazing.
“Thank you Man”
– You know Bhrro; People have big talks, but they ain’t gonna walk around with a banana**. You are real. I’m really lucky that I’ve met you.
This was one of the greatest compliments I ever received from a Friend.
As an extra treat, I took a sneaky shot of him while he was dancing:
Every single day can be breathtaking. There are moments to be treasured throughout the entire day, sometimes they’re just hidden in the time/place.
Whenever you can, stop for a second and enjoy them.
Those little miracles make all the difference.
Take care,
Erik
* Dutch people sometimes pronounce the “r” paired with an “h”
** I’ve done a few weird things in my Life, but this one definitely takes the gold medal – Taking a banana for a walk in Public
[Dutch Dictionary]
Kom1 – Come
Voor2 – For
Kip3 – Chicken
Vreemd4 – Weird
Sta hier5 – Stand here
With a camera, of course.
It was just about time to use this beauty – and capture a few memories that’ll stay with me until the end of days.
Another Dream achieved – (#47) Own a Polaroid Camera
I wish I knew how sensitive it was before I used it.
The rules were simple:
– The lens should never face the sun (or the source of light)
– Protect the film from light at all costs
– Enjoy it
I think I fucked up with the second, because the result ended up like this:
You can even see traces of quality editing at the edges.
It could be a little sharper, but it’s those little flaws that make it so pretty.
There is one fascinating thing about doing new things:
When you do something for the first time, it either goes horribly wrong or you miraculously excel at it.
Just think about driving, cooking, having sex or going on a date.
The more things you try, the less ordinary you’ll be.
After all, we are here to paint the world into a better place.
It’s time to become a rainbow instead of a dull grey cloud that does nothing outside raining.
The second shot was gifted to a stranger.
I was cycling past a bench with a guy on it, and the Sun was precisely putting the spotlight on him. The environment was just perfect to make me stop and say cheese to him.
I jumped off my bike, picked up the camera and jumped right in:
-Bro, kijk hier1
*bzzzzz*
And there it was, an image covered by the film-shield.
It’s unbelievable how convenient these things are.
-Here, put this in your bag and be careful not to let any light touch it. In an hour, you’ll see how it is.
“Seriously? It’s for me? Thank you man!“
Would you see the smile on his face.
One day we might run into each other again; until that – #2 is in a good place.
On the way home I ended going to a park close to the place where I live, to practice an extra round for the One Arm Handstand before I put myself in the sheets.
That’s where I met these amazing jongens2, who were bending the bars fiercely.
The most beautiful aspect of having a Polaroid is:
Life offers many extraordinary moments, all we have to do is just grab it.
I know – sounds like a cheap Nike commercial, but trust me.
If we somehow stumble upon each other at any place, let me know and I’ll take a pic.
Then, if we have time – You could also Tell Your Story.
Take care,
Erik
[Dutch Dictionary]
Kijk hier1 – Look here
Jongens2 – Boys
15 cents.
That’s all I had left on my bank account.
After 2 months, 30+ applications and many many peanut butter sandwiches later – I still didn’t have a job.
I couldn’t even commute anymore, the cost of transport to the center was 2€ / ride, and I had no bike to substitute it.
The only option was a 90 minute walk, twice, whenever I went back and forth to look for a job in the city.
There is no reason to lie, I was thinking about giving up.
Hovering the cursor over a “receive loan” button, with the amount of 150€.
Just enough for a one-way ticket back to Hungary.
It was tempting, to be sure;
But then what?
Why go through all the struggle, just to throw in the towel at the first glance of hindrance?
I came here to follow my dreams, not to turn my back on them.
There are people out there who have to go through every single day without seeing, hearing, or being able to move their body; and they still achieve great things.
Who am I to complain amidst of all this luxury?
During these two months, I could fulfill one of my greatest passions for using languages, being able to hone my English and learn a new one, I met with countless incredible guys and gals, experienced a connection I’ve never had before; and seen many of the beauties and wonders the world has to offer.
After looking at Life through a glass of gratitude, no degree of starvation, struggle or pain seemed bad enough to make me quit.
Fortune is fighting against me, and I shall not carry out her commands. I refuse to submit to the yoke; nay rather, I shake off the yoke that is upon me—an act which demands even greater courage.
– Seneca
I was already at the border of wonderland, all I had to do was keep moving.
More applications, more practice with the language and a tremendous amount of faith.
The only thing I would achieve by giving up is a lifetime of regret and shame.
Maybe all I needed was just one more day, and an e-mail or phone call would come by:
Mr Erik,
We are glad to hear you’re interested in filling a position at our company, we would like to set an appointment and have a chat with you, as soon as possible.
On which days are you available?
Met vriendelijke groet1,
Manager of Whatever
And bamm. That’s all it would take, just one yes.
After that, everything would be okay.
The rule persists: There is always a way, we just have to find it.
Takeaway:
If you ever find yourself in a place of hardship, just look in the mirror and say:
How would my future look like, If I just kept going?
Then imagine what would happen if you chose the opposite.
From then on, you’ll know which road to take.
Take care,
Erik
[Dutch Dictionary]
Met vriendelijke groet1 – Sincerely
Disclaimer: This story has a happy (l)ending.
The softness of the sand and the spotting friend beside me gave enough courage to try it.
7 second later; when I fell from the backflip – I noticed that I confused my legs with my face, and ended up greeting the soil with my head.
“Uhhh, shit“
As I slowly start to gain some consciousness, I realized it’s better to ask first, shoot second – going all in on an exercise I know little about is not the best approach.
Lesson learned, hopefully.
But there was something blurry at the edge of my sight, particularly on the left. The second I touched my face I figured:
I broke my nose.
Luckily my legs were still moving, so I wouldn’t call it that bad, though this was the first time in 5 years when I ended up with an injury, and I wasn’t expecting to kickstart this career by turning my nose into a crescent.
In my head I was already laying on a table with surgeons all over, getting ready to sew stuff right back in.
But there was a strange symptom: It wasn’t bleeding.
Not a single drop of blood fell out of my crooky sniffer.
“Alright, let’s go to the Doctor” – said the Alpha
*using my phone’s screen as a mirror*
“Nooooo waay“
It was like a very short banana, curving just at the top of the tail.
To be honest – the fear induced by vanity was veel1 bigger than the fear of any other damage I might have caused during the well-performed performance.
A quick reality-check snapped me back on track:
If there is one thing that’s fixable on a face, it’s the nose. Toch2?
So off we went to fix a clumsy Pinocchio.
The second I saw the hospital, I would’ve gladly shit my pants.
It was gorgeous.
I mean, the rotting hospital walls in Hungary are impressive as well, just not in the health aspect.
These walls were firm and stable, the floor was shiny and the nurses were happy. Everyone greeted my gawky ass with a smile.
After checking in, under less than 15 minutes I was already laying on the exam. bed.
“You are very lucky ” – says the doctor, as he pulls his microscope out of my nose holes.
“The bones are intact, it’s just the cartilage. You want it fixed?”
*intense urge to answer with sarcasm*
-N…Yes, that would be great”
“Alright, lay back. Take a deep breath and don’t move”
– Is it gonna hur-
FUUUCK
“Aand it’s back up. Let me put a tape on it, just to make sure it stays that way.
The result:
Healthy and Happy
It’s still a bit crooked, but that’s just another memory to proudly wear.
The hardest part of it is the smile, because it moves the tape, and it also hurts. You know me; my smile is like the Sun.
It can warm the World up, even from a million miles.
On the way home I bumped into the neighbor, he isn’t the kind of person who can just sit there in silence;
“What happened to your nose?”
– I broke it
“How?”
– Backflip.
He bursted into laughter, struggled to breathe, and mustered out a few last words in his vigorous giggling: “landing…on your fucking gezicht3…“
The takeaway: Research first, execute second.
Once it happened; and there is no turning back – but there is one thing we can do: Keep going.
A little fail is not an excuse, I have to master backflipping.
If one were compelled to drop everything that caused trouble, life would soon grow dull amid sluggish idleness
Seneca
Take care, and break records instead of noses.
Erik
[Dutch Dictionary]
Veel1 – A lot
Toch2 – Right?
Gezicht3 – Face
Making a living wasn’t as easy as it seemed to be.
I’ve been trying for 2 months, but not a single employer would consider giving me a shot, just so I could pay the bills and avoid ending up on the streets.
In fact, I’m over as many rejections as there are brick houses in the Netherlands, yet the growing debt and the gradual weight loss due to a small degree of starvation doesn’t seem to annoy me.
While I’m sitting on needles to open more emails about how I don’t quality as a janitor or a dishwasher, a friend of mine offered a brilliant solution:
– Sell stuff online, so you can buy food!
Here comes the “Yea, but…“
How do you sell when you have nothing to sell?
My entire possession of stuff was 2 weeks of clothes and my famous animal masks.
Here comes the best part: People in Western Europe actually GIVE STUFF FOR FREE.
Like, for FREE.
There is a site called markplaats, which is pretty much an online garage sale simulator.
Some bargaining here and there, and you’ve got yourself a good deal. Or you can just skip the heel1 process, and browse for the stuff that is free; Gratis – says the Dutch.
And that’s exactly what I did.
If I told you that you could build an entire house just from the free stuff people put up there, It wouldn’t be a lie.
Bricks, chairs, beds, tables, ground, cabinets, more chairs, lamps; and they don’t ask for a single cent.
All I had to do was to hit up the owners with the following:
“Hi, I saw you would like to get rid of that *name of furniture*, and I would gladly liberate you from it’s possession at a time of your choosing, if it’s still available.
Yours sincerely,
Erik”
Works every time.
One day I was offered two barely used IKEA chairs.
Holy shit – I thought
I could sell those for 5 euros each, which would fund 2 and a half loaf of bread apiece!
What a feast I could have from securing those cheap wooden thrones.
However, there was a small problem:
It was 3 km away, and the only way I could transport them to the house was on foot.
But you know the rule:
“If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later!”
Richard Branson
The owner asked me if I could pick them up tonight, otherwise he would have to give it to someone else.
“Zeker2, meneer3!” and I was already on my way.
If only I didn’t forget that even though chairs have legs; they aren’t dogs. Thus, they won’t just follow me.
And that is exactly how a remarkable night was made.
The greatest blessing of the day was that my headphone was fully charged, therefore I could dance through the night (on the way there*) and feel the soothing air of this windy spring evening.
When I arrived to the house, it didn’t take much time to realize the mistake I just made.
4 limbs, 2 chairs.
2 is occupied with moving the earth below my feet and the other 2 weren’t enough to carry the chairs through the city.
But no.
One does not stop halfway on the road with the prize in his hands.
Since I had no fucking clue where I was, and I couldn’t hold my phone on the way back either, I had to rely on my memory. The method I figured to carry the chairs was a difficult one to manage, and every time I stopped to check the map, it took at least 3 minutes of struggling to get back in the Optimus postion, which I invented for transporting the soon-to-be breads.
About halfway towards home, many people have already passed me, and not one of them thought that I’m sane.
They were right though.
It felt rather majestic than humiliating. I was so proud I actually stopped a Lady and asked her to take a picture, so I would forever remember the moment where I had to carry 2 IKEA chairs through an entire city, just to get some bread on the table.
Here is me, trying to find the light in this seemingly very long tunnel I’ve got myself into:
What a Glorious stance.
It’ll be even funnier in 10 years; by then- I should surely be able to afford my own chairs.
When I got home around 11 pm, my legs were sore, my is shoulders are dead and I really needed a shower before going to bed; but I also had something money could never get:
A tale to tell my grand-kids if they insist on hearing a bedtime story before visiting wonderland.
Lesson learned: Say yes, to as many things as you can.
You never know what kind of adventures you miss out if you don’t even go on them.
Give a shot for just one extra yes at a time, and you’ll never have to sit in your room bored of life once again.
Be a bit silly, and take the road less traveled.
Take care,
Erik
[Dutch Dictionary]
Heel1 – Entire
Zeker2 – Certainly
Meneer3 – Sir
It’s been 4 months since I left the nest.
No more eggshells on the ass.
Mama doesn’t wash my clothes anymore, neither does she make me breakfast.
It verified one fact:
When you end up on a place where your options are either to sink or swim, you’ll pick the latter.
The amount of lessons you learn during your first touch with responsibility over your entire existence is no less than the number of bricks made in the Netherlands.
There are a lot of things I’ve missed: A decent dinner at home, going on trips with my longboard, having a movie night with pizza at my friend; even the trifling arguments with my parents. Also, having a little tan.
However, coming here was one of those life-altering decisions I’ll never regret.
Over these months I’ve been through things I wouldn’t believe are possible, even if I heard them.
The first shock of being rejected from literally everywhere made me question everything I ever knew or believed in.
If one wants to work, who would stop him? Especially if the job is no more than mere dishwashing. Well, as it turns out: Everyone.
Not a single soul would allow you to work there, unless you are qualified to do that.
Putting “qualified” and “dishwasher” in one paragraph is joke in itself, though I can only laugh at it in retrospect.
Luckily I’ve stumbled upon new friends who helped me through the hard times in many ways. They wouldn’t let me feel alone or lost in this new sea of challenges.
I was told a lot of times that the only people I could be friends with are foreigners.
“Dutch people are not interested in making friends, they already have their circle, you can try, but it’s pointless“
Oh boy, what a fool I would be now if I believed that.
Half of my friends are Dutch, and they were just as open as everybody else.
The greatest thing I respect in them is their patience. You can imagine how annoying it is to wait 10-20 seconds every time you’re expecting an answer. Thanks to this, I can comfortably practice the language without any inconvenience.
The first lesson still stands: Friendships are priceless.
On a lifelong scale, considering the shortness of time I’ve spent here, the amount of crazy shit that happened is completely off-balance.
What are the chances of letting go of the thought of dating, just to end up going on the best one?
After all these, I finally realized the one reason I was put here on Earth:
To show the world that no dream is impossible, and You too; can have all the things you’ve ever dreamed of.
The stories you’re about to read will have one, and one goal only:
To make a difference.
That difference is You.
To set it in stone, I put it on my list of the things that will surely happen:
– Inspire 10000 lives through my blog. (#123)
This is a lifelong journey, and the whole purpose of it is to send a message:
Everything is possible, regardless of our pasts and current circumstances.
It might not be the smoothest road, but if you ever feel doubt, uncertainty or confusion block you on your path, remember this:
All that goes to make you a good man lies within yourself.
Seneca
Give it all you’ve got. Your dream is at the end of the road, you just have to walk a little to get there.
Take care,
Erik
After a day like this, everything else is a piece of cake.
What would you do, if you had to play chess against Fortune?
Helaas1, such games are hard to evade.
The worst matches are the ones where you think you’ll win; until you realize:
There is no table Fortune couldn’t turn.
However, there are two ways you can increase your chances:
#1: Go all in.
Prove yourself worthy in the face of all hindrance and calamity, sweat blood and do everything in your will to achieve victory. Such attitude may not bring the desired result immediately, but with time and effort Life will bend, and eventually yield.
#2: Pick your battles wisely.
If you rush heedlessly into every seemingly great opportunity, you won’t have time to prepare, execute and reflect properly. What’s the point of making mistakes if you can’t take the time to learn from them? Some battles are meant to be lost, even before you picked them. Foresee those matches and refuse to play them.
To my own folly, I ignored the latter.
It’s been 3 months since we’ve last seen each other.
My First Muse and I came to the point where we put all our cards on the table.
Confession after confession, things became more and more gloomy.
I could’ve just gone to sleep, but it was just about time to put the final nail in the coffin.
Life was not meant to be lived in a constant soul-ache.
The past few weeks I had a lot of trouble with clear thinking. As an ENFJ, this is one of those areas in Life where I struggle a lot with processing.
Things were going great in many ways; I improved in sports, earned enough money and my social life was fairly satisfying.
The only thing that was missing is a little affection, mutual understanding and shared intimacy. Being stuck once again, right in the middle of the Maslow Pyramid.
By the time our talk was over, She cracked me.
Not my mind, heart or body; but my spirit. Nevertheless, the rest was soon about to fall with it.
The fire which was once my fuel ended up burning down everything.
As the pain grew more and more severe, my mind started to supply me with many horrible ideas, each more harmful than the other.
Then, as the rainy clouds would gather around me, wrapping my head in a thick draining fog, my heart too; would fall to their reign.
I had to grip my chest to ease the ache, breathe slowly and try to sleep.
Time passed, I was supposed to wake up at 5:36; but the torment wouldn’t cease.
At this point, I already knew I wouldn’t be able to go to work, it was 2 am and my shift starts at 6:30. I picked up my phone and sent a message:
Hey boss, I feel a little a sick…I don’t think I’ll make it to work today.
Then turned it off and let the struggling contest begin.
One of the main reasons I left my home country was to avoid this, but here I was, committing the same mistake; but this time with no intention to run away.
“Lands and cities are left astern, your faults will follow you whithersoever you travel.”
Seneca
I knew the flaw was in me, but I didn’t know how to fix it.
So there I was, watching my mental state collapse, without even trying to stop it.
By 6 am, my entire body was as weak as a fallen autumn leaf, dried by the sun’s heat.
When the clock struck 10, it has taken over everything. I couldn’t move, couldn’t cry and couldn’t speak. All I could do was silently stare at the ceiling.
Not once was the blow of Fortune this devastating.
It was the eleventh time; should I just give up and stop trying?
No; Not me. – and a tear appeared.
Then another, followed by an army of them – forming a river on my cheeks.
I managed to get out of bed at 11, and force a glass of water in my body.
On the way down to the kitchen I nearly fell. The amount of strength and control I had over my limbs was just as trifling as my faith in succeeding at anything. I tried to eat some food, but nothing more than a small banana could reach my cramping belly.
After crawling back up on the stairs, I had a choice to make:
Go back to bed, or do something. Choosing the former would’ve made me a hypocrite, which I shall never be; so I checked my to-do list:
#1 – Grocery shopping
The sun was shining, and I couldn’t let the clouds gain more power and consume me, thus the decision was made.
A person who chugged down 2 bottles of Russian vodka would’ve beaten me in a competition at dressing; I could barely put myself in a shirt.
It’s a very interesting discovery. Seeing yourself in such a state, unable to control anything, while at other times your strength and focus is so slick that you do handstand push-ups and V-sits.
I stepped out of the house, put on the song that gives me strength like nothing else and used it to keep me moving, however unwilling my body seemed to be.
As I was walking through the town my sight was blurry; but not my vision.
I knew that Poseidon was proud of me, for one does not cast a sea out of his eyes so fearlessly.
There is no shame in being who you are. Crying in public is not something to be worried about, it’s you, who has those feelings; no one else.
On the way home I realized one thing: Nothing would make a difference, unless I did.
So I decided to grab every opportunity to speak Dutch, write the outline for this post the second after I packed out my groceries and go for a workout while the spring weather was still blessing the country.
My focus was horrible, for the first time in two years I couldn’t hold a handstand, but the strength! I haven’t felt such power in my body in ages, everything seemed so effortless. The soft sobbing, sunlight and a little movement got me back on track.
At home I turned to my favorite Stoic philosopher: Seneca the Younger.
His thoughts can heal many wounds, even these.
For what else are you busied with except improving yourself every day, laying aside some error, and coming to understand that the faults which you attribute to circumstances are in yourself?
Seneca
After an hour of reading, I was fortunate enough to realize these:
– I still have my health, limbs and senses. Nothing has harmed me, the way I think does the harm to myself; but why, when this experience only added value to my life, and haven’t taken anything? It is my greed that causes my suffering.
– Fortune could’ve cast upon me the worst kind of diseases, misery or even death; instead She gifted me with priceless memories, kisses and experiences.
Nothing can take these moments away, they are forever preserved in the past.
– It’s pointless to focus on things outside our circle of influence. Such endeavors bring no results, but putting effort in the things we can change will certainly have an impact.
After all, nothing is written in stone, and the future is full of unforeseen surprises.
– Plus, I still eat her godverdomme2 fart bombs every single day.
My goals for the end of the year – 2019.12.31 were to:
Learn to hold the One Arm Handstand (3-5 seconds)Become Fluent in Dutch (Speak Dutch for an entire day – No English allowed)Read 12 books to expand my knowledge (12/14)
But it’s time to use this pain as a stepping stone, and raise the stakes.
Hereby I solemnly swear that I will achieve these goals by 2019.08.17, and refuse to allow any adversity to stop me.
If you take away one thing from this post, let it be this:
You could be lost, robbed of ambition and joy; tortured and burned to ashes –
For a minute you may feel destroyed, but remember:
There are places to see, languages to learn, moments to share; and Love to experience.
Let this light your fire, rise from your ashes and grow anew – shall then you fly once again; just like a Phoenix.
Take care my Friends.
Erik
15.05.2019 – Day 114
[Dutch Dictionary]
1Helaas – Unfortunately
2Godverdomme – Goddamn
Tour de Eindhoven – Part II
She is a night owl, I’m an early bird.
The time She goes to sleep is around the same when I get out of bed.
This gave me a few extra hours to adore her, since the sunrise was long gone, but She was still dreaming with fairies in wonderland.
After a few dozen kisses, She would eventually wake up, but refused to get out of bed.
“The alarm didn’t go off yet!”
If there was a kingdom of laziness, She could claim the throne without any resentment.
But there was no rush after all, we had no obligation to do anything.
Our freedom was similar; if not alike- to what eagles experience.
This led to a daylong cuddle (solid 6-7 hours) before our (my*) hunger would force us to leave the comfort of our bed.
Luckily we picked up a box of fresh veggies from a farm the other day, although I haven’t seen anything outside a basket of weird herbs, She saw the five star dish in them.
So once again we started cooking, but this time I actually helped.
The results were the following:
As a man, the only thing I could recognize was the carrot.
Fortunately my (lack of) knowledge of veggies didn’t stop us from inventing and consuming this bowl of flavorous madness.
It tastes better than it looks; trust me
Then, as the signs of starvation started to disappear, shortly after we decided to leave the house for another pleasant day.
The second we went out the door, She met with her friend in the hallway.
A slightly inaudible Dutch conversation took place, though at that time I already had a decent knowledge of the language, so the topics weren’t entirely ciphered.
It was one of those glorious moments when you realize how much you’re able to understand, if you listen intently. At this point, I was living there for 46 days, and could comprehend about 60% of what’s happening.
All three of us were impressed.
A little later after we parted, She showed me a text from that friend about how cute I was; as a person, to finally accompany her.
Achievement unlocked: Sweetness Approved by Friends.
Again, a few hundred kilometers and some unexpected belly pokes later (She was 1 more hit away from being thrown in the river) the hunger came over, but this time we would indulge in an entire apple cake.
One does not simply say no to such impulses.
On the way home with the pie, we noticed two students carrying a huge plate of glass in the middle of the night, and She; just like in the movies- wanted to rush through beneath that.
“Shall we?” – She asked.
But being afraid of breaking the glass by battering it with my head; my inner child dared not to act, missing out on a once in a lifetime experience.
Such moments are invaluable; and your opportunity to seize them is short-lived.
“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
Mark Twain
There we were; walking in the bright moonlight, with as many plans for our future as there are stars on the sky; which She is very fond of.
– Pro tip: Be careful when you date with a girl who has a thing for astrology –
If Saturn says you’re going to learn how to fly by the age of 26, oh boy, you better start growing wings.
Close to her place, we were passing the grand bowling pins again; but now it was her time to shine.
Probably the sugar rush from the dessert gave her the strength, because from then on, She wouldn’t leave until She climbed up on that ball as well.
While She was struggling to seize the top of the spherical mountain, I kept half an eye on the pie, which was laying on the grass, unprotected.
The eastern blood has no chill when it comes to valuables being out of sight.
Around half an hour, a stripped feet and a lot of mental effort later, our beloved blonde Tarzan managed to conquer the Dutch Everest.
That’s my Girl – I mumbled.
I threw her shoes back, so She wouldn’t fall in the mud bare-legged.
The moment She landed, I greeted her with a long kiss; from then on, She wouldn’t stop smiling until we got to her apartment.
If joy was a sin, we would’ve gotten life sentence.
As a reward for the successful journey, we devoured the pie with nuts and cranberries, in the company of a Black Mirror episode: Bandersnatch.
By the end of it, it was well over 3 am, natural to her, exhausting voor mij.
Inevitably, when two unpolished stones are on their way to fit each other, the day ended with an unforeseen squabble. I was at the point where I could barely keep my eyes open, unable to properly reduce her stress, all I could do was turn into the kind of spoon that lets her know everything is gonna be okay.
The next morning She took me home, same routine, one arm on the wheel, the other in my hand.
We were back in Arnhem.
Before we would part, I pulled her close, left a warm kiss on her forehead; and watched her drive away in the distance.
Little did I know, that was the last time I would see her.
“Pleasure, unless it has been kept within bounds, tends to rush headlong into the abyss of sorrow.”
Seneca
Take care,
Erik
Tour de Eindhoven – Part I
She knew that it’s not hard to make my jaw drop, I easily lost my shit for seeing just about anything; and She loved that.
On a warm Thursday morning She came to Arnhem and picked me up; it was time to share as much joy as we can handle.
Luckily the ride wasn’t short, neither dull.
She would hold my hand all the way to the end, and still manage to get along with the car; without letting go of me for even just a second.
To be honest, I was praising every single red light. They lengthened those invaluable moments of tenderness.
We arrived to Eindhoven, but the second we got out of “de auto”, the rules changed:
Whenever She saw a certain type of stupid car, She would land a cheeky blow on my torso.
After the 4th or 5th time, I was about to kill her.
One does not simply pierce holes in my liver.
We took a brief walk through the nearby parks, then She showed me her abode.
She lived on the 7th floor, with wall-sized windows that gave the perfect view.
Right after the show-around, we went to conquer the World.
Again, She wouldn’t walk without grasping my arm. The charm of this was something I could never get bored of, not for a second.
Soon we arrived to a stylish coffee shop, there we shared our first slice of cherry pie, with forks smaller than my pinky finger.
Doing such things, for me; was sweeter than drowning in a barrel of maple syrup.
Then we went along. She showed me the famous hot spots, including a luxurious store with some weird-ass crocodile leather shoes.
Not keeping many of her cards hidden, She showed me the place where She honed her craft in silly thievery, and stole a few pieces of skittles before we continued our road of (self-) discovery.
On the middle of that street was a spot which would’ve been a crime to left untouched:
Usually the amount of struggle it takes to explain someone how to nail the angle of the shot is somewhat similar to teaching a carrot to build a fence, but not for her.
It requires a sense of art, which She certainly has.
There was one more place She was eager to show; a monument with giant sized Bowling Pins & a Ball
What comes next? You already know.
Although we walked the distance of at least two El Camino’s, the vibe kept us warm & goin’.
She figured it’s time to finish the tour at a Taco Bell, where we wouldn’t stop eating until our overfilled bellies would force us to stay quiet & seated.
Without allowing silence to make these moments flat, I started to subtly scream words inside the restaurant like “fart”, “*male genitalia*” and“*way for humans to reproduce*” until She blushed.
One does not simply spend time in public without embarrassing the other.
The amount of stupid stuff I do on a daily basis allows me to be free from external judgement, but instead of liberating her, I earned the sweetest nickname and title ever: Gekkie
It means Silly to the Dutch, and a lot to me.
On the way home, she would jump up and down on the benches, while I still held her hand, making sure to be part of her mildly expressed desire for vandalism.
We were like Christmas lights entangled together, marching below the stars, seeing the beauty of life wherever we went. Occasionally She would mock me in Dutch or French, but since her voice was as soothing as a lullaby, it seemed to be the perfect moment to switch to Dutch and surprise her by speaking in her moedertaal.
Plot twist: It worked.
After walking the distance of 3 and a half marathons, we got home.
Before anything, I went to take a cold shower.
When I came out, the lights were off, but She lit candles.
To the rhythms of jazz, we would draw ourselves close and crown the night with a smooth flow.
There was no such thing as a “Hopeless romantic” anymore.
They say you need to know a lot to be a good lover; but that’s not true.
Allow yourself to express what’s inside you, and you’ll experience a connection you’ve never had.
Your souls will blend, and their color will paint the canvas in such a way that even Picasso would start to clap.
In the morning I woke up to witness a kind of sunrise that made me question if I’m actually awake. The mixture of orange and red lights pierced through the sky, and I just laid there gazing, with my Lady’s head on my chest, which I would never stop caressing.
That was it – Our Honeymoon in Heaven.
Happy is the man who can make others better, not merely when he is in their company, but even when he is in their thoughts.
Seneca
Take care,
Erik
She did not stop at pasta.
If there is one thing I decently struggle at, it’s the kitchen.
By the age of 20, I was able to make the most delicious toasts and sandwiches, consisting of no more than two ingredients, plus the bread.
The level of knowledge, I know.
I remember the battle of making my first scrambled eggs.
They just kept exploding in my hand, splashing the egg-white all over.
“Be a little gentler”
Thanks Mom.
Now that I’ve had success in the kitchen with the pasta less than a week ago, I was eager and ready to face more challenges. So, once again; She came.
This time we wouldn’t raid the city, rather just spend some time in the comfort of my pink abode; though the walls and curtains were pink, so were the clouds.
It would take around 2 and a half hours before we ended up tasting something new, though it wasn’t the food yet, but our lips.
As we explored the depths of our curiosity, we seemed to have found the thing we were looking for; for a long time.
After 10 disastrous rounds in Hungary, Life finally gave in.
As you know from many articles already, kissing burns calories.
So a man can easily become hor – khm;
Hungry.
Therefore, it was time to cook.
We went to the shop to get the ingredients, and even though She picked the cheapest ones, considering my poorness; a wonderful dish was made from scratch.
2 hours later, I had the dinner of My New Life:
The Vegan Taco.
Ever since I first tasted it, I can count on one hand how many days I skipped it.
I cook this 2-3 times every single week, always ends up to be a decent lunch or dinner.
The ingredients are the following:
– Taco Wrap
– Kidney Bean, Brown Bean (1-1 can)
– Chili beans in tomato sauce (1 can)
– Carrots (3-4 sticks)
– Corn
– Garlic
– Salad/Cucumber (optional)
– Salt and Pepper
You just throw these in a big pan, and under less than an hour you have a delicious meal with at least 5 or 6 more servings to eat.
To give you some visuals:
First: Soften those carrots a little
Second: Unite the flavors of heaven
Third: Admire, then consume it
Though;
Due to intense blauwe ballen, I wasn’t much of a help during the process, but the result was astonishing; and for the first time in many weeks: I was filled.
After the feast, we crawled back to bed.
As it is heavily evident, She was leeching more heat than the amount She produced, but luckily my body is a sort of furnace which can hardly be drained.
While we were laying there, digesting the delicious biological bombs (beans were about to become farts) we kept sharing our visions of the future, and since they were in perfect harmony, it felt like nothing is impossible anymore.
After all, this was the only thing I didn’t believe I could ever experience.
So I decided to challenge one of my biggest weaknesses as well, and set to become excellent in the kitchen.
It’s time to be the master of the tastes, instead of toasts.
Good material often stands idle for want of an artist; make the experiment, and you will find it so.
Seneca
Take care,
Erik
Achievements:
- Start a Family (#1)
- Get in Excellent Shape (70 kg with less than 10% body fat) (#7)
Pick up a 10 (#9)(2022.11.25)- Own a Dog (#14)
- Run a Marathon (#20)
- Carve an aesthetic Wooden Sword (#31)
- Have a talking Parrot (#32) – This is one of my absolute favorites
- Publish a Book (#37)
- Get an autograph from Post Malone (#44)
- Fix my teeth (#45)
Get a Polaroid Camera (#47)(2019.05.17) – 📷- Be a Lefty for a whole week (#49)
- Set a Guinness World Record (#50)
- Read 50 self-development books [50/36] (#51)
- Earn 10000€ under a month (#55)
- Have a wall for my Memories (Souvenirs, Items, Pins, Polaroid pictures) (#60)
- Own a Katana forged in Japan (#62)
- Bake the perfect Space Cake (#63)
- Do a full Side Split (#65)
- Get the Blue Check on my Instagram (#67)
- Hit an apple mid-air with an Arrow (#74)
Shut the fuck up for a week (Stay entirely silent for 7 days in row) (#77)(2022.07.13)- Put a love lock on the Pont Des Arts bridge (#80)
- Read The Alchemist in 5 different languages [5/3] (#86)
- Paint the most popular Painting of Bob Ross (Island in the Wilderness) (#94)
- Own my Dream House (#100)
- Take the Camino de Santiago – The French way (#104)
- Give a TED talk (#111)
- Bake the perfect Cinnamon Apple Pie (#114)
- Cook every single Dish in a Cookbook (#119)
- Inspire 10000 lives through my blog (#123)
- Make a bottle of Wine (#125)
- Win a Medal/Trophy (#132)
- Build a Wooden Dog House (#138)
- Appear on the Screen of a movie that made it to the Cinemas (#142)
- Survive for a week completely Blindfolded (#146)
- Have a traditional Busómaszk1 from my home Country (#156)
Start a Company (#158)(2019.09.23)- Earn an N-pass from $tevie by rapping OG Black Music (#160)
- Get a Driver’s License (#163)
- Take a Banana for a Walk with 100 people (100/4) (#164) – Egy bolond százat csinál2
- Earn the Crowned Gold Cross for completing the Nijmeegse Vierdaagse 11 times (11/0) (#167)
- Release an Album/EP with a song from all the Languages I speak [HU,ENG,NL,ESP,FR,??] (#170)
Skills:
- Master 5 languages (#2)
(Hungarian,English,Dutch, Spanish [40%], French) - Play the Guitar [Learn 100 songs 100/5] (#19)
- Learn the Art of Lock-picking (#21)
- Learn to Juggle:
3–4– 5 balls (#24)- 3 (2019.01.08) / 4 (2019.05.05)
- Become a Chef: Make 1000 dishes (#52) – [1000/4]
- Learn to use the Unicycle (#58)
- Master one of the Martial Arts (Get a Black Belt) (#61)
- Become an Archer (#96)
- Learn to (legibly) write with my left hand (#128)
- Master my Body (#150)
– Hold the One Arm Handstand for 15 seconds (each arm) (#15)
– Learn: Front Flip / Back Flip (#18)
–Front Lever (Clean – 20 sec)📷
– Back Lever (Clean – 40 sec)
– Human Flag (30 sec – Walking up & down – Holding a Person)
– Straddle Planche (Clean – 15 sec)
– Japanese Handstand
–V-sit📷 - Master a Sensual/Passionate Dance Style (#161)
Travel:
- See the Colosseum in Rome (#3)
- See the Pyramids in Egypt (#12)
Move to a Foreign Country and start a New Life (#13)(2019.01.21)See the Fireworks on August 20th, Budapest (#27)(2019.08.20 – Calum)Visit Amsterdam in 2018 (#28)(2018.05.05)- Travel for 7 days+ to:
Australia, Austria, Belgium, Canada, Croatia, Czech Republic ✔, Denmark, Egypt, England, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, The Netherlands ✔, Iceland, India, Italy, Japan, Norway ✔ – Volume I/Volume II, Peru, Poland, Russia, Slovakia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland (#35) - Spend an entire day in the San Diego Zoo, US (#36)
- Visit every single Coffeeshop in Amsterdam (#48)
- Capture a Special Moment with a Polaroid in every Country I visit (#59/35)
- See the Ancient Ruins of Petra (#72)
- Hug the biggest living Tree on Earth – California (#75)
- Walk on the Great Wall of China (#79)
- Visit the Grand Canyon (#82)
- See the Stonehenge (#84)
- Do a OAHS on the Devil’s bridge (Rakotzbrücke) in Germany (#88)
- Stand inside the White House (#93)
- Walk in a Bamboo Forest in Japan (#101)
- Go to the North Pole (#105) – Make the biggest sandwich /w someone at the South Pole?
- See the Ancient Mayan Ruins (#112)
- Pick the Nose of a President at Mount Rushmore (#113)
- Meditate in the middle of Times Square (#117)
- Visit the Central Park in the Autumn (#121)
- Explore the 10 famous Indonesian Temples (Borobudur, Prambanan, Tanah Lot, Pura Ulun Danu Beratan, Pura Luhur Uluwatu, Sewu Temple, Ratu Boko Temple, Candi Plaosan, Goa Gajah, Pura Besakih) (#129)
- Stand on the Hollywood walk of Fame (#131)
- Eat Fresh Dates from a Date Palm (#134)
- Taste the true Canadian Maple Syrup (#135)
- Stand at the Tri-border of Germany, Belgium and Netherlands (#141)
- Swim in the Loch Ness, Scotland (#145)
- Conquer Machu Picchu (#149)
- See a Sunrise from the top of Mount Fuji, Japan (#155)
- Get buried on a Black Sand Beach (#162) [My head should stick out, it’s not a funeral*]
- Admire the Niagara Falls (#165)
- Take an Upside Down Picture of me in Australia (#168)
Personal Wishes:
- Sing a Song to Timi (#26)
Have a cold beer and a great time with Fabián (#42)(2019.12.07 – Fabián & Ellenor)- Taste the finest Churros in Spain with Loïs (Chocolatería San Ginés) (#56)
- Travel to Hawaii with our families with Claudia (#73)
Explore a Foreign City with Balázs (#92)(2020.07.14 – Balázs)- Go Busking with Иван – Drum & Guitar (#98)
- Spend an Idyllic Day in Amsterdam with Dani (#151)
- Go on a Buggy Volcano Ride in Fuerteventura with $tevie (#154)
Couple Goals:
- Take our dog for a walk on a winter evening with light snow (#11)
- Waltz dance (#34)
- Kiss on New Year’s Eve (#71)
- Cycle hand in hand (#81)
- Hold a human flag with my SO standing on me (#83)
- Have our own Sick Dance Choreography (#90)
- Snow Fight (#95)
- Take a trip in a Gondola in Venice (#102)
- Go skateboarding under the moonlight (#106)
- Dance through a Beautiful Street in the rain (#108)
- Cuddle under the Stars on a Blanket (#109)
- Be on Top of the London Eye (#116)
- Go on a Daylong Date (#120)
- Take a banana for a walk Together (#122)
- Wake up to the View of a Mountain in a tent – Camping (#126)
- Make a Mixtape for each other (#137)
- Spend a Day Handcuffed to each other (#140)
- Go on a Road Trip Together (Passing 5 countries) (#144)
- Have our First Child (#148)
Experience:
- Jump out of a plane with a parachute (#4)
Date in English (#5)(2019.02.28 – Loïs) – 📷 + [Dutch, Spanish, French]- Parkour through a city in a funny costume (#6)
- Jump into water from a cliff (#8)
- Dive and swim with fish in the sea (#10)
Climb up to the top of Liberty Bridge, HU (#16)(2016.12.05)- Fly with a paraglider (#17)
- Pet a Kangaroo (#22)
Charm a Woman off her feet (#23)(2019.06.23 – Loïs)- Surf (#25)
Take a Banana for a walk in a capital City (#29)(2018.04.08, 2019.08.20 – Calum)- Be completely Alive for an entire day (#30)
- Smoke an expensive Cuban Cigar (#33)
- Participate in a Street Workout Competition (#38)
- Go to a Color Party (#39)
- Grow my own Purple Haze (#40)
- Make out with [someone with] a split Tongue (#41)
- Pet a Panda (#43)
- Experience a Traditional Thanksgiving (#46)
- Throw a Grill party (#53)
- Take a banana for a walk with Tim Ferriss (#54)
- Hotbox with Friends (#57)
- Wear the coolest Halloween Costume at the Party (#64)
- Hold the One Arm Handstand on a Camel (In the Desert) (#66)
- Give away 50 Roses to People on the Street (#68)
- Smoke a huge Joint in front of a main Police Station in broad Daylight (#69)
- Go to a Drive-Thru in a card-box car with Friends (#70)
- See the Northern Lights (#76)
- Witness a Red Crab migration (#78)
- Get (reeeally) drunk in Germany at an Oktoberfest (#85)
- See a live Stand-up comedy show with Friends while we’re high (#87)
- Have a Family Picnic on a Beach (#89)
- Sail an old-fashioned ship (Pirate / Viking) (#91)
- Taste the most expensive Coffee on Earth (Kopi Luwak) (#97)
Take my Parents on a Vacation in 2020 (#99)(2020.08.20 – Dad & Mom)- Go snowboarding (#103)
- Pose with Penguins (#107)
- Build the perfect Snowman (#110)
- Fly an Airplane (#115)
- Witness the Stars and Planets in an Observatory (#118)
- Go on a Safari (#124)
- Roast marshmallows at night with Friends in a Forest (#127)
- Date with a Dude (#130)
- Feed a Lion (#133)
- Fly in a Hot Air Balloon (#136)
- Tell a bedtime story to my Children (#139)
- Watch the Sunset on a California Beach (#143)
- Have Dreadlocks (#147)
- Flex in a Wedding Dress (#152)
Dye my Hair Pink (#153)(2019.08.30)- Cook eggs on a Carhood (#157)
- Eat Ice Cream in the Middle of a Desert (#159) – with Friends
- See the Earth from Space (#166)
- Have a proper suit tailored in England (#169)
- Witness a Volcano Eruption (#171)
Do your Future Self a favor and write down the things you always wanted to see, have or do.
Remember: No matter how impossible your dreams might seem, not so long ago we were convinced that flying in the air is not possible.
Today, we have even been on the Moon.
Think about it.
“Life is what you make it. Always has been, always will be.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
Take Care,
Erik
[Footnotes]
Busómaszk 1 – A special mask from our Spring opener folk-tradition.
Egy bolond százat csinál 2 – A Hungarian proverb, meaning: “One fool makes a hundred”
The most valuable moments in our lives come when we would least expect them.
When I was younger, I remember begging to the Devil to rob me of my soul; Free of charge.
To give it away, and to not get it back; was the goal.
I prayed every single night, in hopes that I could get rid of my ability to feel, which seemed to be the cruelest curse at the time.
Well, sometimes it still does.
But not on February 28.
An Appointment Booked in the Starts
Sometimes a seemingly severe disadvantage can turn out to be a trait of immeasurable value; even if it remained hidden from our very eyes.
Fate writes no boring screenplays.
Some say it’s luck, no more than mere chance. Others are convinced that there are certain events, at certain times; which are ought to happen, just as day follow the night, these encounters are inevitable.
It was a sunny Thursday morning, -fairly uncommon in the Netherlands; where I found myself pondering on the main event of the day:
The first date with my future Wife.
What a foolish statement, you might say. Guess what, you are right. It is foolish, just as foolish as moving to a foreign country without any insurance for survival, but hey.
Welcome to the mind of a slightly silly Man.
I literally flew out of bed.
Picked up my second favorite outfit and left my hair slightly undone, just so there would still be some room for improvement for the next time; as She taught me how to cook pasta through WhatsApp the other night- that made it quite sure that no matter how it goes, our first wouldn’t be our last.
Since my financial situation didn’t allow us to shoot for expensive experiences, the plan ended up to be a simple walk in the Center, so the fine, warm rays of sunlight wouldn’t go to waste.
We decided to meet at 2, so She arrived at 3.
“Whoops” – She said
After all, She drove through the country to meet me at my house, what it is, if not a sign of dedication?
When I walked past the door, there She was, leaning against her car, which- if you’ve seen a few american movies; was as cool as it gets.
After a cheeky grin slowly appeared on our faces, we went to the bus stop, eager to conquer the city.
She eloquently jumped on the bench and made a cute remark:
“So, you’re my Man Today”
If there was such a thing as an internal smile, my soul would’ve curved into a half circle towards the sky.
The second we arrived She came up with the idea to gift me something of great value; but it didn’t feel right to receive, while I was already in such an abundance of joy. She really wanted to give me a book, if only my pride would’ve allowed me to say yes, today I would be richer with both a memory and an experience.
It felt like we merely started to talk; the sun was already setting behind us.
During the walk, we bumped into a statue, which I decided to mount with a secret ingredient: A unicorn mask, pulled out from my bag.
“But how will you get up the-“
and there I was, looking at her from a horseback, struggling to put on my horse head.
Using her sense for art, She went down to a perfect Slavic squat to nail the angle; which gave birth to this piece of art:
#5 Date in English (2019.02.28, Arnhem – Loïs)
An item on my bucket list which was sitting there for sooo long.
At this point, it definitely deserved to be crossed out.
Little did I know, it wasn’t even close to what was yet to come.
After this, we went to the harbor, where the last rays of the setting sun would still catch our backs, forming a thin, warm coat; which would briefly dispel the icy winds of Holland.
Making connections during these times was something I had no experience in at all, especially not on the first run.
But somehow, even though I had many locked doors, She had all the keys.
Perhaps; She felt the same.
She cunningly pulled me closer, and decided to walk by clinging to my arm.
The style was from the 40’s; more than 50 years old, but boy, did it rock!
There was nothing more a man could’ve asked for.
Since we’ve been walking for a while now, we ended up on a sturdy bench for a brief pause.
It didn’t take her more than a second, She was already waving with her hands, explaining why things are the way they are.
She would even poke me here and there, if it seemed like our views might differ.
To her, the stories of our lives were written the skies, while to me, all that mattered is the fire in her eyes.
One of us found meaning in the starts, the other did so by witnessing the beauties of Earth.
We’ve been on different roads, wearing different glasses, yet our vision of the future was the same.
Soon the feeling in our legs went offline because we chose to worst possible position, so in attempt to gain back the power on our lower parts, we decided to take another round. The date was far from over.
We bumped into a huge sandbox, and climbed up on a big plastic guy.
It was the sort of playground people make when they have no idea how to fill up unused space. Just as we got on the top, it started to rain.
Although it was sunny 5 seconds, now I just say: Holland weather; doesn’t matter.
We rushed down before we got wet, (well, I can only speak for myself) and headed to the first place that seemed to be comfortable enough to enjoy our time.
Instead, what we found was the nest of the best.
The second we opened the door, the smell of communism hit our nose. Old people turned at us, with the usual grumpy look they throw at younglings, who dared to disturb their favorite pastime, the sweet complaints about how terrible the world; especially our generation- is.
For the second try, She seemingly chose the most luxurious coffee shop in the city.
As if even the cheapest place wouldn’t astonish an eastern guy.
Time Flies By
You know you’re in good company when you look at your watch every 30 minutes, just to notice that 2 hours has passed.
The clock wasn’t relevant anymore. Time ceased to exist.
There was nothing but dim lights and our unstrained attention towards each other.
Sometimes, She just wouldn’t stop talking. Though seeing the pleasure in her smile, I had no intention to even just consider to interrupt.
If we were at the sea, I would’ve been a Pirate, charmed by a Siren, whose passion was to sing, rather than to take men to the depths.
After all those years of trial and struggle -for the first time; it was natural.
For some reason, I just never felt home on the place where I was born.
It’s been a long and toilsome road, yet in that moment everything made sense.
That night it felt likeI finally found the place where I belong.
“For no man knows what the future would bring, much less the next hour”
Viktor E. Frankl
She was savvy all the way. She knew exactly when to take a step back, or when to take two forward.
If dating was basketball, She was Michael Jordan.
Hours passed by, and we wouldn’t even notice.
The only thing that could distract us, was a small mouse, who rushed through the floor, doin’ a quick scan for some precious crumbles. It went under a desk, but wouldn’t come out. She wouldn’t believe her ears, and I wouldn’t believe my eyes. I sneaked to the desk, slowly lifted it up, and we found our witty little cheese stealer.
The cute and fluffy interruption snapped us back to reality, and we found out what time it was.
It was time to go.
There was still an hour before midnight, the next bus wasn’t in a hurry to arrive, so we had the opportunity to take the day’s last walk.
A stop was right next to us, but being poor as fuck, we could; under the name of being adventurous– choose one which was far enough to enjoy a walk, yet close enough to get there in time.
I also saved 0,17 euros, which unarguably worth at least 2 slices of brood.
Yep. Eastern life on the West.
As we reached our destination, we were already tangled up, not just in thoughts, but as a whole.
Even though I couldn’t know less about this kind of art, things just went with ease.
She turned a rock into something smooth, with less effort than anyone else who ever tried to tackle this task.
Then the six-wheeled savior came, to bring us closer to the night’s finishing touch.
We hopped on, and the trip which was supposed to last 20 minutes, passed in no more than 5.
Perhaps, the speed of time linearly grows with the amount of pleasure.
Just as She was about to get in her car, a last hug seemed to be a proper closure of our night, but once we became wrapped, there seemed to be no force on Earth that could separate that bond which was -between us; formed.
We just stood there; binded to our very selves.
She would say the answer to all this could be found in the stars.
I would just smile, shrug; and ponder about the journeys yet to come.
Once upon a time, somewhere in Arnhem; the clock struck midnight and the date came to an end. As the month shifted and spring came forth, a book suddenly fell.
It had our names on it, so She swiftly picked it up and opened it, though we quickly realized it wasn’t a fancy novel as one would expect, but a sea of empty pages; and placed between them, was a pen.
Take care,
Erik
P.S.
“That’s how you dot the Ï”
Where my sense for art ends; Her creativity begins –
{Bloopers}:
In the midst of the hugathon, she looked in my eyes and asked:
“Can I Kiss You?”
– Nooo… – I said, in a shy and playful tone.
Our loud laughter afterwards surely shook up the sleeping neighborhood.
A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed
Not long after my monthiversary, my freshly acquired brother needed a little help with carrying furniture.
If it was something usual, I wouldn’t write about it, but the lives of expats in the NL are everything, but dull.
Don Huán was about to install a chair and a table to his new home, but there was one small obstacle:
He had nothing to carry it with, and this is where I came in the picture.
Since he was lacking an extra pair of hands, nor had the time to take two turns before the shop closes, only one solution seemed to be possible:
“Yo bro, could you help me out?”
The answer was obvious.
However, there was one detail he forgot to mention, which was: The target was a secondhand shop, on the other side of our beloved town.
Being unconscious of this fact, I immediately jumped on the bus to get to his place, then off we went to score some furniture.
Along the way towards the shop, he offered a jonko, which is the Dutch slang equivalent for a joint.
The sun was warm, the company was good, you only live once, one would’ve been a fool to refuse.
By the time we got to the shop, we were well baked, even more, eager to finally carry his new household property.
To be honest, when I saw the secondhand shop, my jaw dropped.
It was bigger than an IKEA, perhaps even cooler.
It took no more than 15 minutes to find the right combination of a desk and a chair, though finalizing the decision was not something we took lightly. We had to take the weight into account, because it was a 30 minute trip, and one does not walk through the entire city with a heavy desk at hand.
But well, we had no other choice.
After a small showoff of our Dutch language skills at the cashier, we picked up the stuff and started our journey.
Huán carried the desk, considering that he is 2 meters tall, with an equally firm shape, which was just right for his height.
There we went on the sidewalk, with the chosen appliances on our backs.
Since the entire town has already seen us, you too, deserve the pleasure of witnessing this casual expat act:
He was one hell of a turtle.
With just a few quick pauses to rest, and even a switch, so both of us could equally express our manliness, we got home.
Now, if you have never seen Dutch stairs before, well. They are fucked up.
A normal stair anywhere else in Europe would be half as tall- if not less; than the Dutch ones, as you can clearly see here:
Yea, it’s basically a ladder.
Though we managed to carry it up and finally settle in, it was a tough exercise for the day; as well for our friendship.
He was way too grateful, considering the amount of struggle at hand, but little did he know, I was more than glad to help.
I am not your friend, unless whatever is at issue concerning you; is my concern also
Seneca
Take care,
Erik
How to Party With a South-American 101
Born to Be Wild: Latino Edition
It all started with another expat guy, Don Huán; who decided to hit me up and ask if I want to join his Birthday Party tonight, though It was the first time I would meet him.
Since I barely had any social life, I didn’t have to think twice.
What could go wrong, right?
I arrived to his house around 8, he offers a beer and introduces me to his friend, Déniél.
Déniél strikes up a conversation about our countries: Economy, school system and such.
Looking back at this point, I should’ve accepted the beer. Though because I didn’t, the events of that night remained clear; making me able to write this post.
A few minutes into the discussion the three of us quickly came to the conclusions that almost every country sucks.
Except the Netherlands, of course.
Around 9, Huán suddenly gets up from his seat, runs to the door and lets her (2) sisters in.
Now that all of us were here and we were done with the small chats, Huán decides it’s time to spark things up a little and asks her sister to give him a piece of paper.
By the time I figured out what they were doing with that paper and a scissor, they were already enjoying their freshly sliced Colombian LSD.
No cake, huh?
Not Your Usual Wednesday Night
Since it takes some time until it hits, Huán warmly invites us to his 4sqrm bathroom, where the 5 of us can comfortably sit down and smoke a carefully rolled joint without triggering the smoke detector in the living room. Even though they switched from English to Spanish from time to time, it was still quite easy to keep up with what’s going on. Until the LSD hit.
As the “Well-raised Eastern-European”, I didn’t dare to take anything; Khmm-artifical.
It’s the Netherlands, after all. You just can’t refuse a joint.
It’s the culture. You know, if you wanna integrate, you gotta follow the rules.
Huán, full of joy and acid; runs to the kitchen, grabs a bottle of red wine and takes out a silver goblet from the cupboard. He starts to pour the grape-blood with a huge smile, until it’s full. After sharing it’s content with everyone, all of us became brothers.
When we were done with the puffs, things got intense when the effects of those substances started to mix in them. LSD, Weed, Wine and Beer. Huán comes up with a sudden idea: Roam the night club and chug a shitton of booze, because it’s fucking VODKA WOENSDAG.
To Be, or Not to Be?
It’s half past midnight, I felt quite tired, but you know the “come with us“-they said “It’ll be fun“- they said scenario. Well, it wasn’t a lie.
We started to walk through the broad streets of Arnhem, with the dark brown bricks under our shoes and the night blue sky above our head, pierced by the full moon’s light. We were the only troublemakers in the entire city, since today wasn’t a usual Friday night. It was the middle of the fucking week. Or so we thought.
We bumped into a group of Gangster Guys, who really knew how to get things going. One of them did backflips on the road with a bottle of beer in his hand, then pounding his chest right above the heart: “Africa, my men. Born and raised“.
To be honest, even to this day in my life; I have never seen anyone who was this impressive.
We got into the club around half past one, immediately charmed by a 65 yo grandma on fire, who was fishing for some young, fresh Dutch D on the dance-floor.
If someone was slaying with moves that night, it was her.
Huán immediately scores 5 seats, while putting an order for 4 rounds of vodka shots and 1 shot of jäger each. I was still sober at this point, decided to stay that way in case someone happens to get wasted and a clear head would come in handy.
After a while, I recognized that the level of pleasure in this place seemed to be tied to the amount of stuff taken, which heavily reduced my ability to enjoy my time. After the drinks went down, I decided to head home, only to find out I left my bag; along with the keys- at Huán’s place. Not having the slightest idea about how to get back there, I sat down on a stair to get some fresh air and think about the possibilities, while I was texting with my gonna-be tinder date, who suddenly turned into my future wife as we ended up talking on the phone for more than an hour.
As it started to get cold, it seemed like the worst mistake at the time to leave my keys at a place where I can’t get them, but life has it’s own tricks to unfold in a way you would never expect. I found my way back to the Club, asked my newborn friends if they’re okay, when the Gangster Guy joined us and invited everyone to his place.
It took 4 minutes and 3 people to put on a single coat. The struggle was real.
Though the night was young and they had a decent amount of every substance they could get their hands on, so being clumsy was just part of the deal. On the way home with our African guide, he bought pizza and beer for everyone, just to make the night even more pleasurable.
I have to say, this guy was so full of energy, if you hit up the dictionary at the word “spirit“, you’ll see him as the illustration at the bottom. After half an hour and a great walk, we end up in his house, with a Turkish musician playing the guitar and a Russian linguist snorting cocaine. It’s the NL after all, let’s call it a night.
The house was full of handmade furniture, in African style, carved from wood. He had a huge bed facing the TV, speakers pointing at us from every direction, everything a man can ever dream of. We kept discussing life in all the possible perspectives through the eyes of our cultures, until the rising sun reminded us to get some sleep. We woke up around 2(pm), endlessly expressing our gratitude towards our man, for the hospitality and kindness, then head home.
The Colombians decide to snack mushrooms for breakfast on an empty stomach, just to decently close the day and have a great time on the plane 3 hours later, since the girls had to go back to Colombia.
Luckily the shrooms would only hit around 4, while the plane took off at 5, so they were about to get high right before the check-in.
We picked up our stuff, walked out to the train station to say goodbye, I wished them a safe trip (and a nice one 😉), then they depart.
We wave at the train for a while, until it disappears in the distance, then I turn to Huán, give him a hug along with a bro fist and say: “Man, what a night”
-Indeed, Brother. Welcome to Arnhem.
Taking the leap of faith will either make you or brake you.
In this case, however, it happened to be both.
#2 – Nothing Stays the Same
Good times take place over bad ones. Friends walk away, making space for new ones.
You find love, then you lose it.
Everything changes.
When I moved here, I knew no one, couldn’t speak a single word in the language, had no idea how to cook for myself; and even worse: I had to google where to pour the liquid in the washing machine, because I just didn’t know.
I know, Mama’s little boy.
Mommy did the chores, Daddy did the groceries.
After all, adulthood can’t be that difficult, right?
Wrong.
Improvise, Adapt, Overcome
The first things you notice is that you are in your own company. A lot.
There aren’t many people to interact with, outside the cashier or the landlord.
It was time to change that, so slowly but surely, using the techniques from Lesson 1,
I managed to meet a handful of amazing people with huge hearts, who made some space for me in their social lives.
My status from unknown expat to a fairly liked Dude was updated.
Boom, a crucial circumstance was successfully changed.
Though this doesn’t mean I was saved, not by a long shot.
Looking at my to do this, a few things were still unsolved.
Especially the one on the top: Income.
After applying for over 30 places, the results were terrible:
22 rejects, 3 interviews, the rest choose not to respond.
I was fortunate enough to finally nail a position as a waiter in one of the restaurants, located at heart of the city. Beautiful design, busy nights and charming people.
Sounds good though, yet things are not always as simple as they seem.
It’s been over 3 weeks since they hired me, yet I was still not able to work for a single hour. The hardest part of getting a job here, turns out, is the amount of paperwork you have to go through. Weeks go by while you’re waiting for the government to post your documents which allow you to apply for work, then again, you have to wait for weeks until your employer processes your documents, and only then; you’re allowed to work.
It’s been 65 days since I moved here, and I still couldn’t get any income.
I developed a new habit of hunting for free furniture whenever I can, with the intent to sell them, but we’ll discuss that later.
If You Don’t Like the Weather in the Netherlands, Just Wait 20 Minutes
Overall, things aren’t as bright as they could be, yet the fact that things are in constant motion keeps my mind safe and sounds. Well, at least partially.
I might find out today that my application was processed, and I’m able work from tomorrow. Highly unlikely, though definitely not improbable.
Just like the weather, life goes through changes all the time.
Sometimes it’s cloudy and rainy for a week, just to be followed by an entire month of sunshine and warm weather.
Or, if you live here, a heavy rain can strike up anytime, even if there wasn’t a single cloud on the sky a few seconds ago.
Compared to Day 1, things are; in a way, better than they used to- and
that’s all that matters.
Hang in there guys, the best is yet to come.
Erik
Even if some obstacle comes on the scene, its appearance is only to be compared to that of clouds which drift in front of the sun without ever defeating its light.
Seneca
Starting everything from 0 has both its sweet and sour side, but we must keep in mind a universal principle:
There is no substitute for experience.
#1 – Friends, First and Foremost
Once you realize that you don’t know anyone (and nobody knows you either), the question starts to manifest itself: How am I going to socialize?
It’s easy to get friends from school, work or being introduced to others through people you already know, but what do you do when none of these options are available?
Simple, you just shit your pants.
Then, once you’ve gone through initial stages of panic, you can consider the following:
Look For People With the Same Situation or Interests
If you think you are the only one who is experiencing these struggles, I’ve got good news for you:
There is many of us.
It can be a little tricky to connect with the locals until you learn the language, but chances are, there are a handful of other people near you who were/are in the same shoes.
So what can you do?
- Ask the locals. Who would know better where to find places where you can start off, than those who already live there? Whenever you interact with someone, just kindly ask if they have any suggestions.
- Look for Facebook groups in your area, try to find people with similar interest or circumstances. Unless you moved to the South Pole, I’m pretty sure you’re going to get a few matches.
- Outdoors and sport. You would be surprised how often you can make friends in gyms/parks simple by just being there. People enjoy the company during these activities, just start with a simple “hi”, and see how it goes. Give it a shot.
One of these are guaranteed to give you a start, then you can slowly expand your circle, getting to know the greatest Guys & Gals in your neighborhood.
I arrived here 2 months ago without knowing a single soul, now I am surrounded with the most amazing people you can imagine, who I can count on during the hard times, and we help each other whenever Life decides to put a little extra “fun” in the game.
Remember, if you just sit in your room all day, waiting for Life to change, it’s going to be pretty difficult to find new friends.
Once you take the first step and start the wave of those dominoes, things will inevitably fall in place. One small interaction can brighten up your entire day, or who knows, maybe your entire life. Do your future self a favor and get some awesome friends.
Take Care and Good Luck,
Erik
“We do not so much need the help of our friends as the confidence of their help in need.”
Epicurus
Yeah… “Bar”
The place where the night was supposed to start turned into the place we happened to end.
A sudden buzz shook my phone in the middle of a calm Thursday afternoon; as a clear sign for possible, yet unexpected pleasures.
Luckily that was exactly the case, it turned out to be invitation from a kind female fellow whom I have known for no more than 24 hours.
“Hey, we are going out tonight, wanna join?”
The lack of social life called for immediate decision, so I quickly dropped my long-time-favorite dish -which was at the time bread with peanut butter(Avagy: Brot met pindákász*)- and sent an enthusiastic “Of course”, as a sign of my excitement to finally meet new people.
Little did I know, that a seemingly regular Thursday night has it’s own “possibilities”
“We’ll be at *this* alley at 8, see ya there”
Nothing is wrong with a text like this, unless you come from an Eastern country like mine, where the meetups in such places have a 65% chance of setting you free from the burden of carrying organs inside your body.
Livers are expensive for a reason, after all, it’s not easy to find fools who fall for these.
But who cares about trifling stuff like living when an opportunity to get new friends is within our grasp?
Furthermore, the thought of being harvested has it’s own advantages, which might not easily appear to the naked eye, yet a person with a warm heart knows: A rich person with kidneys like these could sustain for up to a decade, thus our death wouldn’t be completely superfluous.
I call that a win-win.
Get dressed, not stressed
After carefully choosing my outfit; so it would be appropriate for both a night-out and a funeral, I was ready to offer my life to the element of chance.
The very next thing that happens after taking the last turn in the shady alley is two cute-little expat greeting me with a bright smile on their face, instead of a needle in my body.
Utterly disappointing, I know.
Along the warm introduction, they immediately offered to invite me to a bar, where you can: Have fun without consequences regarding the next day.
It’s not Friday, after all.
Sounds fair & right, isn’t it?
Well, there was no bar, nor any liquid to dissolve hinders; and the truth is my memories are just as foggy as the place where we spent the night, and though the clouds of smoke are no excuse for the lack of detail, they still perfectly induce you to figure out how a usual weekday night looks in Holland.
Also my mom figured out how to translate pages without the ability to speak the language, so I’ll just keep my mouth shut, before I cause an unnecessary shock to my beloved Family-
Thank you for sticking with me for this episode of “Good decisions executed horribly”
See you next time & Farewell,
Erik
09.02.2019 – Day 19
P.S. – I swear I’m gonna catch up with the events in writing, so grab some popcorn, watch a few movies and press F5 from time to time, because shit is gonna get real, and that we have yet to discuss.
The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows, not even in the Netherlands
Just like everywhere, there are legal obstacles in the beginning when one wants to settle down in a new place. Permissions, insurances, identification papers; all the necessary documents which are crucial to start a New Life.
There is an assumption about where one wants to get work, one will find work.
Today the Dutch reality crushed that belief into a thousand pieces. Even though almost everyone in the country speaks English fluently, the possibilities to find a job without speaking the national language are severely limited.
Now believe me, after writing motivational letters so intense that even the Queen of England would hire me as her personal bodyguard after reading the memo, the only thing I kept hearing here is:
“Sorry, the applications must be submitted in Dutch. To apply for the job, the applicant must be an efficient user of the Dutch language”
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been rejected from a restaurant because I didn’t speak the language, I could already pay rent.
Plot twist: I applied to fill positions as a dishwasher, but I was not aware of the fact that I have to talk to the plates in Dutch to achieve maximum efficiency during the cleaning process.
I wouldn’t get so hyped about it, since this is just my 12th day here, but under the past 12 days I didn’t spend a cent on anything that’s not essential for my survival, yet I’m already 1100€ in debt.
At the time when this post is written, the Hungarian minimum wage is moving around 390-400€/month, while in the Netherlands the current minimum wage is more than 1600€/month.
That’s over 4 times the amount of the Hungarian wages, which obviously applies to the cost of living.
Western Europe – Eastern Europe
1:0
Just to give you a context of my current financial situation:
When I received my permission to open a bank account, I walked 50 minutes to the bank, just so I could save 2€ on the bus, which is 4€ back and forth, guess who can afford an extra 30 slices of bread now? 😉
Jokes aside, I’ve reached out to the expat community in the city and I’ve received plenty of suggestions about where I could look for a job.
I went to 13 places today, 3 of them might be able to apply me from next week, so fingers crossed fellas.
We are going get over every obstacle, no matter how hard the circumstances may seem at the moment. Let this be in an example to those who are in a similar situation to prove that no case is lost until you consider it lost.
See you soon and hang in there,
Erik
When life says no, you say next.
TL;DR: IT WORKS!
How?
After the drop in my regular meat consumption I started to feel like no matter how much I eat, it never seems to soothe my hunger.
The solution was obvious, I just had to cook some meat.
Yet, there was one particular issue I had no idea how to deal with:
I’m Horrible at Cooking
If I manage to make scrambled eggs without setting the kitchen on fire, I’m more than happy with the result.
The lack of experience severely limited my ability to make a decent lunch/dinner, but we came here to do things better than we did in our lives before, so it’s time to put on all the safety equipment available and stay in the kitchen until you come out with a tasty meal.
I would rather not go in detail about the amount of struggle I went through during the procedure, since you’re here to pick up a little encouragement for your own journey, but I must say the 4th rule of being human was proven to be irrefutably true.
A lesson is repeated until it is learned.
The 9 Rules for Being Human
If I had a dollar for every time I burned myself with the splattering hot oil, I would be able to pay rent for the next 6 months without ever going to work.
In case if you happen to be a newbie at cooking as well, carve these words deeply into your brain: Hot oil and meat juice don’t mix.
There are a few other things in this post already, but if you only walk away with this one I’ll consider that a huge accomplishment.
Closing
The food ended up completely edible.
Honestly, considering the mistakes I made during the entire process, it’s still a miracle that the final product that landed on the plate turned out to be actual chicken, instead of cute little pieces of spiced coal.
I’m not gonna lie, the taste was far from what I expected, but there is plenty of time to improve that.
It took a week of ham&cheese sandwiches to realize the hidden potentials of cooking, but we managed to pass the exam with flying colors.
I believe there is a lot more to the art of cooking than a rookie like me could imagine, though if we decide to step a little further each time, adding just a small twist to the process, we’ll eventually end up making the most exquisite dishes with considerably less effort.
You know what?
Come back in 5 years and you might see me open my first restaurant.
PS: The outcome (~2 hour 15 minutes)
Take care,
Erik
What do you know about the Dutch?
Except the stereotype that smoking weed is their only occupation as a pastime, in reality they’re one of the most fascinating and colorful people on Earth.
Why?
One word: Bicycle.
A Vehicle Above All
There are no words to describe how unique their approach is when it comes to structuring cities.
The basic formula looks somehow like this: Bicycles > everything else
Roads, lamps, enormous parking lots, more roads
These are dedicated solely for making cycling as convenient as possible, to promote a healthy and eco-friendly transport-lifestyle in the country.
You might not be surprised, but even in the middle of a snowstorm they gladly grab their beloved two-wheelers and cycle to the store with a smile on their face.
The most impressing things is that they’re able to cycle dozens of kilometers without a sweat.
I had the opportunity to witness this unearthly performance during my visit last summer, where they invited me to come along on a little expedition.
“It’ll be fun” – They said
I was foolish enough to believe that statement, so I jumped into my shoes and went right after them on a borrowed bicycle.
Little did I know, that the city we were going to explore was a bit more than 22 kilometers away.
Remember Donkey from Shrek on their way to the city?
That describes the trip better than any word ever could.
Because of the small dunes here and there and my inability to keep up with their speed, due to the lack of this cultural training, the cruise took around 1 hour and 15 minutes. Twice.
On the way back (after around 30-32 kilometers) I asked them if it’s normal to feel utter numbness in your buttocks, but the only response I got was: “Haha, you’ll get used it“
After we arrived home I could barely walk, but I’ve never been happier for the fact that my foot, once again, are on the ground.
The next day I just decided to stay in bed and finally try out this western thing called “Netflix”
To be honest, I was not disappointed.
A Challenge Worth Conquering
Making that 44km expedition out of nowhere wasn’t just a victory for my legs, but on that day a seed of love for this culture was planted in my heart.
That seed is the reason that allows me to be right here, right now.
If you ever find yourself yearning for something you haven’t seen or done before, let me remind you that those things are out there waiting for you to experience them, no matter how distant they might seem.
Keep those seeds close to your heart for a while, and one day you’ll notice a little flower slowly emerging on the surface, which will bloom into the life you’ve always dreamed about having.
Take care,
Erik
Road to a New Life 