“There is no man living who isn’t capable of doing more than he thinks he can do.”
― Henry Ford
When was the last time you truly believed that you can do something epic?
When you felt that you’re capable of achieving something great?
Good ideas can be scary. Great ideas are straight up terrifying.
But why is it that every time our souls are set ablaze by a spark of passion, the second it fill us with energy – it ends up distinguished in a few minutes by thoughts like these:
“Be realistic!” – “Don’t be so naive…” – “The world doesn’t work this way“
Every one of these ideas, thoughts or dreams have the potential to change our lives in a way we can’t even begin to imagine, yet, they barely get to live another day.
Soon the excitement turns into anxiety, then we try to ignore the fire and pretend that it wasn’t even there in the first place.
Today, I’ll show you what happens when you do the opposite.
It was a usual Sunday, with only one task for the day:
Keep the promise I made.
Before things slipped for the tweede keer1, I made a promise to the girl who showed me how Beautiful Life can be. Beautiful, with a capital B.
There weren’t any more days left to procrastinate – if I didn’t fulfill what I said today, the opportunity would pass, and there is no way on Earth I’ll ever become a hypocrite.
– A Man keeps his word, even if it’s not convenient or easy.
That’s my philosophy. It helps you look in the mirror without regret or shame. These two can easily ruin us mentally.
My promise was to give her something handmade – a lucky charm; that would protect her from troubles all the way while She is exploring Europe recklessly.
The last night we spent together She talked about being a Tiger, wild and impressive. She was waving with her hands (with a glass of wine in it) while her parents and I were listening to how this delicate, graceful being can identify with something so strong and magnificent.
The fire in her eyes was fierce, and we knew She wasn’t kidding.
So this morning I sat down to craft an Origami Tiger and decided to deliver it, regardless of what I’ll have to face.
Every single fold and crease I made was done with as much attention as there possibly can be. It didn’t matter how it turned out when it was finished, all that counts is that you put your heart and soul into it.
That’s the point of a handmade gift – to put a piece of you in it.
When I was done, it suddenly hit me:
There is no way I can get there to give it.
She lives in the middle of nowhere on the other side of the country, where public transport doesn’t exist and I had no car to go with.
“What if…? No, that’s too crazy, even for me… There is no way I could do it. But what if…“
I hit up google maps, put the address in and selected cycling.
“3 HOURS?! No fucking way…“
It would be 6 back and forth, 55 km each.
I never cycled more than 20 km under one sitting, and that was the deadliest day I’ve had when it comes to cycling. Walking wasn’t an option the next day.
“But what’s the alternative?“
Either this, or letting her go away without anything to help her on the trip.
If something happened to her, I would lose my shit.
So, still in doubt, I started to check out guides for long-distance cycling.
After reading a few articles on conserving energy and performance improving, I started to think that I can make at least the first half of the trip. The important part, that is. The way back wasn’t relevant, even if I had to stop every 10 minutes to let my legs rest a bit, because She would have her tiny piece of portable Luck and Safety.
Yet, I was still afraid that I wouldn’t make it.
This is when I reached into my wallet and took a coin out of it.
If it’s heads, the answer is yes, if it’s tails, forget it.
I tossed it, but my heart knew the answer before I flipped it on my wrist.
“I’m going to do it” – I whispered, and slowly lifted my palm to see what it is.
Heads. Tuurlijk2.
Fate ruined the only excuse I could ever make.
In 10 minutes, I was on my way.
The only thing I didn’t take into account is that those guides were referring to bikes with the ability to do long distances.
What I had, on the other hand, is a granny bike that takes you to the closest grocery store if you’re lucky.
Beautiful, isn’t it?
Well, enjoy the trip, dummy.
The first 30 minutes was scary. New roads, fields and landscapes wherever I turned my cheeks. The idea was to avoid looking at my phone and remember the turns, so I wouldn’t have to look at a huge fucking clock saying “You’ll be doing this for another 2 and a half hours, bitch“
At 90 minutes my legs started burning, but I tried not to think about it.
“Just one more km. You can do that, it’s easy“
All I had to do is keep lying for another 90 minutes, so I could continue lying for another 180.
Legs – Brain
0 – 1
Occasionally I would stop to drink or shake my legs a bit.
I couldn’t rest for more than 3 minutes – my legs would use it as an excuse to call it quits and refuse to work for the rest of the day.
There was a point where I had to go through a forest, but the signal went away and the roads weren’t on the screen.
A few hikers made remarks as they passed me:
“A bicycle in the middle of the forest…what’s he doing?“
I wish I knew, dear Lady. I wish I did.
After wandering for 20 minutes around trees, wild pigs and bulls, who were calmly chewing grass next to me, I finally found my way out of the labyrinth.
At around 2/3 of the trip, there was a mural on one of the buildings.
It was astonishing. I couldn’t help but stop and eat a banana while I stare at it. This kind of art is very popular here, you can find them scattered all around the country. This particular beauty looked like this:
I was very close to make it, yet the last 40 minutes was heavy. My ass was numb and my legs were begging for mercy at every spin.
Soon, I started to think about the possibilities:
“Would her Dad be pissed? Not to the point where he would call the Police, but being arrested would be funny – especially if I could skip work the next day. Sounds like a win-win. Her Mom wouldn’t even be surprised by this. I don’t remember what she saw in my horoscope, but it surely covers even this. I should memorize a few Dutch sentences, just in case. Is there a chance that nobody is home at this point of the day?
These little thoughts kept me on auto-pilot, making me forget about my body. When I finally arrived to their place, I stopped for a second and started to think:
Every single event in my Life led up to this moment.
How crazy is it?
Maybe if the guy who bullied me in elementary school would’ve been sick on a certain Wednesday morning in 3rd grade, I would’ve had a great day and never in my Life would I come to the conclusion that I should move away. Or if my plane arrived on time in January without a delay, would that make me appear further on her list, and close the app before She gives her blue star to me? If our great great grandparents wouldn’t have been horny on that particular day, our Stories wouldn’t even exist.
There are endless things that could cause us not to ever meet.
But we did. Every single decision we made throughout the decades led to the only one outcome that allowed us to experience all this.
And now I’ve found myself cycling 3 hours to the middle of nowhere, just to break into a garden and give her a piece of paper.
“Wat een Leven3“
When my inner Socrates finally stopped talking, I quickly utilized the monkey blood in my veins and climbed in. From philosopher to villain in less than a minute.
There wasn’t a single car on the property.
“Drukke dag, éh?”4
Regardless, I walked up to the front door and knocked 3 times as if I was doing Trick or Treat.
No answer, no candies.
I pulled out a tea box, wrote her name on it, put it next to the doormat and left with a smile on my face.
It was both a relief and a pity that nobody saw me.
“What the reaction would’ve been?” This remains a mystery.
“I should’ve waved into the camera, at least” – I mumbled as I climbed out to the street
Nevertheless, it felt great.
This was the moment when I finally pulled out the earphone to fuel my way home. It was a tough trip in silence all the way, but now the music is gonna make it smooth sailing.
Cycling again was a lot easier than I thought it would be. The music definitely worked like magic. At one point, the song we once sang on the way home from the beach came up suddenly, and the memories hit me like the waves of the Sea on that particular day.
I was so happy; my legs actually forgot that they were in pain.
Those moments are forever preserved in History, and that is something no one can take away.
There was a point where I felt a little dizzy, so I stopped at the first bar and ordered a coffee. When nobody was watching, I stole a coaster from a tray (I’m such a criminal today), and wrote the date on the back of it.
Memories are the treasures of old age, and I wanted to make sure that I have a souvenir that reminds me of how silly I was in my twenties.
After sitting on the bike for the last time today, it was easier to do the remaining 2 hours and 30 minutes. Only at the last 20 kilometers I got to the point where I almost fainted and rolled into a ditch, but I knew that if the previous 90 didn’t stop me, then nothing will.
All I needed was a little faith and a touch of insanity, and the outcome is one of my greatest victories.
When I finally got home, I couldn’t believe it. The second my feet touched the ground, it wouldn’t hold my weight. I had to crawl up the stairs, literally.
When a friend heard how I cycled 110 km under 7 hours today, he called me immediately, and I picked up shouting this at him:
–VANAF NU, BEN IK EEN ECHTE NEDERLANDER!5
“Bro, you are fucking insane…”
– Dat weet ik 6
“Why the fuck would you do this?“
I couldn’t explain. It was simply the right thing, there is no logic behind it.
Life never makes sense in the moment anyway. Not to the point where you’re certain about everything. That’s the Magic of it. Only as you age, does the bigger picture reveal the answers you’ve been seeking so eagerly.
Just follow your Heart, there is no other GPS like it.
It will take you to places you’ve always wanted to see, and will give you all the strength you need if you let it. It will guide you through even the toughest days. Trust it, even if it hurts deeply. In the end, that’s one thing you’ll never regret doing.
When I went to bed, my mind was still buys with the thoughts of today. I was just laying there, staring at the ceiling.
“Will I always be this crazy?” – I whispered, as my eyes started closing
Then I smiled and fell asleep.
“The only way of finding the limits of the possible is
– Arthur C. Clarke
by going beyond them into the impossible.”
Take care, as always.
Erik
27.10.2019 – Day 279
[Dutch Dictionary]
Tweede keer 1 – Second time
Tuurlijk 2 – Of course
Wat een Leven 3 – What a Life
Drukke dag, éh? 4 – Busy day, huh?
Vanaf nu, ben ik een echte Nederlander 5 – From now on, I’m officially Dutch
Dat weet ik 6 – I know that
“…Parkinson’s disease… and Cancer” – These were the only words I could remember.
“I don’t know what to say…“
– Mom…
The pain was like being pierced by the sharpest Katana, through the heart – with the force of a rhino on the run.
I collapsed.
Then got up, grabbed the corner of the wall.
-What? Not possible. Clearly not.
I didn’t understand. Couldn’t comprehend.
– What does it mean? What are the numbers?
You become curious and run the math.
The answers arrive, all of them.
How much time you have, how many times can you visit them; what quality of Life can you expect – And the amount of years left.
I try to tell my boss, but the speech turns into laughter.
The sentence would start with quick breaths, switch to laughing in the middle and finish with tears dripping from my eyelashes.
– What’s next?
I barely turned 22 when I dived into the uncertain – All this without knowing the slightest thing about cooking, washing my clothes or making a living. Struggling to learn the language, run a biz, stay in shape and avoid ending up on the street.
Trying to assess how Life is.
When your friend earns 1500€ a day – and still feels broke, regardless of his lucrative businesses. 45k/month – while You can barely make 500 a week, to which the reaction is: “That’s a SHITTON of money – even here!” – but you feel poor every day.
It has no ending.
Money doesn’t solve it.
Your Old Friends never gave a shit. Taking 5 minutes a month to check your Stories and see how you’ve been doing lately? 0 out of 30.
It’s been 9 months since I moved here – None of them spared a click.
“Were there ever any?” – You think about friendships.
No one left to talk with.
When your ex is having the time of her life (All of them, actually)
and the streets are filled with smiles, hugs and kisses all the way.
Everyone’s got a hit on the existential lottery.
You start to lose it.
But you know it’s not real, and that we all have our own share of bullshit to deal with.
You try to make it work, carry the burdens, support your Family – and you still lose everything.
Hope slips away, like the last flash of your sweetest memories.
“What does it all matter, if I can’t even save my own Mother?“
Your faith leaves you bit by bit.
But you stop it.
– This doesn’t lead anywhere. If I give up now, If I quit – who will be there for her? Who will make her proud, smile a lot and prove it:
“I’ve raised a great kid“
You did, Mom. You did.
I wish you spoke English. You would know so much; literally everything.
You’d know how Crazy Life is, how I Fell in Love, and what Dreams I’m going to achieve.
I haven’t had any of these for over 2 decades.
She deserves more than this. To see my kids; have grandchildren to cook for and play with. To see the World and spend her time peacefully.
The fragility of this image is my current biggest fear.
And I swear to do everything in my power to protect it.
“Walking along in the silence, he had no Regrets.
If he died tomorrow, it would be because God was not willing to change the Future. He would at least have died after having crossed the strait, after having worked in a Crystal shop, and after having known the silence of the Desert and Fatima’s eyes. He had lived every one of his days intensely since he had left home so long ago. If he died tomorrow, he would already have seen more than other shepherds, and he was Proud of his Journey.“
– The Alchemist
If there is one truth to it – it’s this:
We can’t choose our parents, the place where we’re born, or how we’re raised; but there is one thing we can change:
The path we take before we reach the Grave.
Thank You for your 5 minutes.
Erik
15.10.2019 – Day 267
——————-
NEDERLANDS
——————-
RIJK, STOM OF (NOG STEEDS) VERLIEFD – MAAKT NIET UIT ALS DE DOOD HIER IS
“…Kanker en… ziekte van Parkinson” – Ik herhaal deze in mijn hoofd
“Ik weet ‘t niet…“
– Mam…
De pijn? Zoals de scherpste Katana door je kloppende hart, met de kracht van een olifant.
Ik zakte in elkaar.
Ik stond op, pakte de hoek van de muur aan.
-Wat? Onmogelijk. Zeker niet.
Ik verstaan het niet. Kon het helemaal niet begrijpen.
– Wat betekent het? Wat zijn de kansen?
Dan word je weetgierig. Ineens snap je dit:
Hoeveel tijd is er nog, hoe vaak kun je ze nog zien, wat is de levensverwachting.
Ik probeer met mijn baas te praten, maar ik begon te lachen.
Het liep uit de hand. Begin ik de zin met snelle ademen, lach in het midden en maak het af met de Niagara op m’n wangen.
– Wat kan ik doen?
Ben ik slechts 22, in een nieuwe Wereld zonder iets te weten. Ik probeer de taal te leren, in vorm blijven, een kutbedrijf opbouwen, het dak boven mijn hoofd houden. Maar wat doe je met deze dingen?
Je denkt aan je Leven.
Wanneer je vriend 1500€ per dag verdient, en denkt dat hij arm is. 30 dagen, 45k. Je kunt nauwelijks 500 per week maken, maar je voelt je hoe dan ook geldeloos – terwijl je vrienden denken “Je werd rijk echt snel!”
Eindloos onzin.
Geld is geen oplossing.
Je oude makkers geven geen enkel fuck over je Leven. Niet voor één moment. Ik ben 9 maanden weggeweest – niemand keek.
“Heb ik ooit een echte vriendschap gehad?” – Vraag ik.
Je bent helemaal alleen.
Wanneer je ex de tijd van haar leven heeft (Allemaal, eigenlijk), en de straten zijn vol met geluk, kussen en liefde, het maakt niet uit waar ben je.
Iedereen wint. Het klopte niet.
Het maakt je krankzinnig.
“Dat kan niet waar zijn, echt niet” – dacht ik. Iedereen heeft zijn eigen deel van pijn en verdriet.
Je leg je hart en ziel erin, steun je familie, maar verlies je toch alles, stukje bij beetje. Er is geen hoop meer.
“Wat maakt het uit, als je je eigen moeder niet kunt redden?“
– Er is niks wat Ik kan doen…
ONZIN!
– Dit helpt niet. Als ik het nu opgeef, wie zorgt er voor haar?
De vrouw die me mijn leven gaf. Ik moet wat leven teruggeven.
Helaas, snap je niks van mijn verhalen. Kut Engels, éh?
Ik wil je over mijn gekke avonturen vertellen, mijn eerste liefde, of de grootste dromen die ik heb.
Deze dingen zijn erg nieuw voor mij.
Wil je met je kleinkinderen spelen? Jazeker.
Geloof me. Het komt goed, Moeder.
We zullen rond de Wereld reizen. Ik zweer het.
“Hij liep zwijgend voort. Spijt had hij niet.
Als hij morgen stierf, was dat omdat God geen zin had de toekomst te veranderen. Maar hij zou sterven nadat hij de Straat van Gibraltar was overgestoken, in een kristalzaak had gewerkt en de stilte van de woestijn en de ogen van Fatima had leren kennen. Hij had intens geleefd vanaf de dag dat hij van huis was weggegaan, nu al zo lang geleden. Als hij morgen stierf, zouden zijn ogen meer gezien hebben dan de ogen van de andere herders, en daar was hij trots op.”
– De Alchemist
Als er is iets te leren:
We kunnen onze ouders, de plaats van onze geboorte, of de manier van onze opvoeding niet kiezen; maar er is iets dat we kunnen veranderen:
Onze reis terwijl we hier zijn.
Bedankt voor je tijd.
Erik
15.10.2019 – Dag 267
——————-
MAGYAR
——————-
GAZDAG, GYÖKÉR VAGY SZERELMES – MIT SZÁMÍT HA ITT A VÉGE MINDENNEK
“…Rák…és Parkinson…” – Ez a két szó visszhangzott a fejemben.
“Nem tudom mi legyen…“
– Anya…
Olyan mintha kést szúrnának át a szíveden, egy orrszarvú erejével – keresztül mindenen.
A földre rogytam.
Feltápászkodtam, kezemben a fal sarka.
– Mi? Az nem lehet. Biztos hogy nem.
Nem értettem. Az ilyesmit fölfogni elsőre nem lehet.
– Mit jelent ez? Hogy folyik le?
Kíváncsi leszel. Kezded elfogadni a tényeket.
Mennyi időnk maradt még, hányszor tudod meglátogatni, hány éve lehet még Neki.
Próbálsz szólni a főnöknek, de nevetni kezdesz.
Nem marad abba sehogy sem. Halkan kinyögsz pár szót, majd kínodban vihogsz és remegsz – mire végzel, szemeidet könnyek lepik el.
– Mit kezdjek én ezzel?
Épphogy csak 22 lettem mikor kiköltöztem. Egy világba amit nem értek vagy ismerek – próbálom tanulni a nyelvet, meg tetőt tartani a fejem felett. Vállalkozást építek, sportolok, írok és néha kételkedem, de tudom hogy egy nap meglesz a gyümölcse; és akkor elhiszik majd az emberek hogy a világon minden lehetséges ha teszünk érte.
Próbálod felfogni miről is szól az Élet.
Egy barátod fél milliót keres – napi szinten. Nem csinál mást, csak kínai ékszereket ad el és duzzog hogy alig van pénze. Te havonta alig kaparsz össze 700 ezret.
“Jézusom, hogy teszel ennyit félre?” – kérdik az itteniek.
Sosincs vége, mindegy mennyit keresel.
Hiába a pénz, a lyukat nem tölti be.
A barátaid le sem szarják mi van veled. Havi egyszer 5 perc nem fér Nekik bele, hogy egy pillanatra megnézzék mi zajlik erre fele. 30ból 1 se.
9 hónapja költöztél el, és azóta se olvastak el egy szót sem.
1000km, s már nem is létezel.
Nincs kihez menned.
Az exed élete legjobb időszakát éli (Az összes, ami azt illeti), az ismerősied fele már házas, a másik fele minden éjjel új párt választ.
Mindenkinek összejön minden. Csak ez jár a fejedben.
Kezd elmenni az eszed.
De tudod jól, hogy ez hülyeség, mert mindenkinek megvan a saját fájdalma, mégha nem is adja a világ tudtára.
Próbálod nem feladni, dolgozol és küzdesz, támogatod a szüleid és büszkéve teszed őket.
S mindezzel mit érsz el?
Azt, hogy szép lassan elvesztesz mindent.
A remény úgy fakul el, mint a legszebb emléked – évről évre több köd lepi el, míg végül teljesen el nem felejted.
“Mit számít mindez, ha Édesanyád életét semmi sem menti meg?“
Most először érzed igazán, hogy semmit sem tehetsz.
De befejezed.
“Ennek semmi értelme. Ha most megtörök és elengedem, ki fogja támogatni őt a nehéz időkben? Ki csal majd mosolyt az arcára, teszi büszkéve és bizonyítja be:
“Csodás fiút neveltem”
Azt tetted. Bár beszélnél angolul – tudnád mi zajlik a lelkemben.
Tudnád milyen őrületes itt minden, hogyan lettem először szerelmes, és mi mindent viszek majd véghez.
Ezek egyike sem tűnt lehetségesnek az elmúlt 20 évben.
Ennél sokkat többet érdemelsz. Egy unokát, akivel játszhatsz és akinek főzhetsz. Nyugalmat és békességet. Hogy lásd a világot és élvezd az életet.
Megteszek mindent, ígérem.
“Csendesen lépdelt. Nem bánt semmit sem.
Ha holnap meg fog halni, az azért lesz, mert Isten nem akarja megváltoztatni a jövőjét. De az után fog meghalni, hogy átkelt a szoros másik partjára, hogy egy üvegárusnak dolgozott, megismerte a sivatag hallgatását és Fátima szemeit. Attól fogva, hogy elindult hazulról, végigélt minden egyes napot. Ha holnap meghal is, már semmi sem változik meg abból, hogy szeme sokkal többet áltott, mint más pásztoroké. És erre Büszke volt.”
– Az Alkimista
Rengeteg dolog van, ami ellen nem tehetünk semmit.
Nem választhatjuk meg a szüleinket, a helyet ahova születünk – vagy ahogy felnevelnek minket. De egy döntés mindis is ott lesz a kezünkben:
Hogy mit kezdünk az Élettel, mielőtt még vége lesz.
Köszönöm, hogy időt szántál erre.
Norbi
15.10.2019 – 267. Nap
What’s the best way to conquer our Fears?
There is a technique called Fear Setting.
It’s very simple, yet extremely effective.
Ready? Here it is:
1) Describe the worst possible outcomes you can come up with
Let’s pick something common: Asking someone out in public.
You see this gorgeous Lady standing on a bus, looking at her phone, reading a book or listening to music. She is mesmerizing. You could look at her for all eternity, and still be charmed by her sun-like energy.
You’re certain: She is the Woman of your Dreams.
So what do you do?
Fidget with your phone, turn your head away and try to ignore what you see. But you can’t, because your eyes are endlessly trying to look at her beautiful face.
Here comes the trick:
See yourself messing it up completely.
As you approach her, you start mumbling because you’re stunned by her beauty. She looks at you and calls you a freak. You freeze. She shouts:
“Get away from me, pig!” – and the whole bus starts laughing.
You get off at the next stop in tears, feeling defeated and pissed.
Everything you hoped for is now gone and your Life is in ruins.
Aaaand cut. Stop right here.
2) Think of ways to prevent what you’ve just seen
Alright, so how can you approach her without blowing it?
Think of a line you’re going to open with.
Can’t come up with anything? Pull out your phone and type this in:
A) “Best ways to start talking to girls in public”
B) “How to approach a girl on a bus”
C) “3 Steps to Instantly Conquer your Fears”
Found anything useful or funny? Chances are, you did.
Leave the “It has to be original!” to your wedding. You don’t need to give a TED talk about her qualities, all you need is a way to avoid being clumsy.
Can you see yourself doing it? If not, let’s check out the possibilities:
3) Consider the pros of action and the cons of missing it
What if She’s charmed by your bravery? After all, how many times you’ve seen a guy do this? Not many, I believe.
You can’t deny that it’s a possibility. Just like screwing it, a coin has two sites in every case. Without leaving the trails of reality, She could also be lonely; and would love to go on a date with someone who has the balls to ask for it. These are still reasonable options, regardless of what fear whispers in your ears.
You could be 5 steps and 20 words away from finding yourself in a restaurant with a bottle of Rosé; and a smile that makes your heart race.
Can you imagine? Of course you can, it’s called daydreaming.
The only difference between that and reality is taking the opportunity.
But let’s NOT take it, shall we?
Just keep sitting there, ponder about “how good would it be” and quickly come up with endless scenarios of how easily it could go sideways if you tried with anything. Don’t even think about approaching – just listen to the little voice telling you how you’re going to blow it.
Oh wow, you’re good at this!
You’ve successfully convinced yourself that talking to another human being is impossible without stuttering. Luckily you see her signaling the driver, which means She is going to leave. This is your chance! Don’t move, stay in your seat! Let the opportunity slip and feel the intense relief the second She leaves.
“Good god, what a disaster I’ve avoided today!”
Congratulations, you made it.
Not a single bruise on your self-esteem.
That’s how you save yourself from the chance of having a wonderful evening with a charming Woman like She is. The threat of a dinner, wine and a warm smile of a Lady has passed, and you’ve survived all of it.
No chance for going on a date, falling in Love, getting married and having kids. All of those thrown away, because some strangers on the bus would see you try to grow balls for the first time in History.
All of these are possibilities. The only difference is that while humiliation might make a few wounds on your self-esteem – you forgot to ask yourself what happened to the ones you got while you were trying to learn cycling. Those wounds and bruises have already healed, and now you can cycle without any difficulty.
Taking your chances is the exact same thing.
It can hurt for a minute, but a chance can turn into a date; end up in Love and marriage – which certainly outweighs the pain you may experience by choosing courage and doing what your heart says.
In the end, you’ll be proud for doing it.
Take care,
Erik
PS: For the “Who are you to talk about these things?” / “Give us some credibility!” kind of people:
I’ve won the award for the clumsiest dude of the Century while I tried to ask out a Lady, and the experience indelibly burned into my brain.
You can’t do worse than this. Trust me.
He can’t turn water into wine, but boy, does he know how to play Reggie.
Stevie arrives to the store, eyes blazing, legs shaking.
He just came from the Canary’s this morning.
– My man!
I smile and attempt to do a handshake, but he falls of his bike during parking.
“Bhro, I’m so fucking high right now” – He says, as if tumbling on the concrete floor didn’t give it away.
– Let’s get some snacks then. – and so we went in.
It took around 7 minutes to choose which chocolate will be the winner of the day.
When you’re stoned, everything seems tasty – even the things you despise in a sober state.
JUST PICK SOMETHING – The inside of my head screams, but you can’t change the volume of the thoughts you’re having.
Go ahead and try it.
Can you whisper or shout in your brain? Nope. The volume stays the same.
When the cashier asked for the money, it suddenly hit him:
“Bro, do you have cash on you? Can you pay? I forgot my wallet m8“
At this point I felt like a Daddy taking care of his clumsy kid.
– Sure, do you need diapers as well or you can wipe it already? – my mind wants to mock him.
Freshly stacked with snacks to counter the munchies, he is about to take me on a road-trip.
He hands me a helmet, which had most of its parts broken or missing.
As he leaps over the seat, his giraffe legs kick the helmet out of my grip. A sudden laugh fills the air – an old man behind the window witnessed how this 2 dude is completely incapable of leaving the fucking parking space.
He looks at us, we laugh, and he flashes the rock & roll sign, with his wrinkled fingers and sparkling eyes.
God bless you old man, the show is done for tonight.
As usual, he drives well, regardless of the THC in his system.
When we get to the park, the sun was just about to set. We occupy a seat on a bench and he prepares the spulletjes1
While he rolls his first solider, we start to talk about our future.
– Do you know why people never achieve theirs dreams?
“Nee, vertel me2“
– Because they don’t even have any. Just listen;
An old man was approaching with a dog on a leash.
– I’m sorry Sir, if you were given a wish, what would you ask f-
“I d- d- don’t believe in those things!“
– Oh, I see; Thank you, have a nice evening.
He didn’t even let me finish. Probably he lost his patience, considering that he was above 80.
Our second attendee came along 10 minutes after the first one walked away. This time he was in his mid 50’s. A fluffy brunette was scampering around his legs, enjoying the lukewarm evening in this quiet place.
– Excuse me, if you were given a wish, what would you ask for?
He kept walking for a solid 15 seconds before he turned around and said:
“To meet my mother once again.”
– That’s a beautiful wish, thank you very much for sharing it.
This certainly had a little more depth to it, in fact, it made me shed some tears before everyone else would show up to blaze some haze.
It’s still not allowed to have emotions as a male, ain’t it, 2019?
When people started to gather around us, a third participant showed up on the scene.
Rasta hair, Guitar on the shoulder, Jesus-like face.
– Excuse me Sir, if you were given a wish, what would you ask for?
He puts his hand on his chin and starts to think.
– Take your time.
“Hmmm…“
– No rush, really.
He lays the guitar on a bench and keeps brushing his cheeks.
“You know, currently I’m homeless… I’d ask for a home, a place to stay.”
A painful answer we thought we’d never hear.
He looked anything but homeless. Looks can be deceiving, I admit that, but this guy was well above the “hobo-standard”.
After a few unconscious nods and long gazes, he decided to rest his head on the guitar and stare at the World’s ceiling. There was a short silence, which I broke with a question aiming at his past:
– How did you end up here?
Turns out he came to the Netherlands because he was living in a war-zone in Africa, and that just couldn’t be sustained. He was 8 when they came here. After going through things none of us should ever see (let alone kids) he ended up being a Reggie player, and his stage became the World in its entirety as he wanders from place to place.
It’s been a long journey for him, no question about it.
It makes you think about the daily things. The ones that piss you off or cause you to stress in any way. Isn’t it so annoying to miss the train because some dude walked slowly? Or something brakes. The fridge, the coffee-machine, or your laptop’s enter key.
Terrible, terrible things. Existence is pain.
By the way, have you been in a war-zone lately?
The last member of the crew rolls in. His appearance was a mixture of a burnout college graduate with a touch of punk activist in his mid 20s.
Milan, who looked like 26 was in fact a high-school student who was just about to turn 18.
He couldn’t escape being asked the same:
– Milan, If you were given a wish, what would you ask for?
“Are there any limits? Like Gravity, or Physics?”
– No, Nothing.
“So basically anything?”
– Exactly.
He was sharp like the sword of the Japanese.
Proper English combined with witty thinking, one of my favorites.
His wish was a magic wand, which can summon up anything he needs – but only once a week, with the dimensional limits of 2x2x2m.
A bit materialistic, but still creative. He is 4 decades behind the previous attendees.
“I would like to change my wish…” – A sound comes from our forgotten Reggie King
“…I would wish for…that… all the kids in the world would have a good upbringing.“
Half an hour of deep thinking and this is what his heart came up with.
This is humane.
A person who barely has anything would sacrifice the only thing that could change everything. If you give people time, their greed might dissolve and turn out to be something as warm as a Lover’s Kiss.
– That’s a beautiful wish indeed. – We all agreed.
“So Milán; isn’t it Italian?” *He switches to Dutch dit keer3*
– It’s actually Maximilian; I was supposed to be Mohammed. My mom wanted that; but my dad disagreed:
“No, we’re not gonna give him that Name.
I don’t want to wait 3 hours at the airport every time, and then not get on the plane.“
Everyone who was present bursts into laughter and tears.
Even Jesus cracks up and starts to giggle on his wooden instrument below his ears.
It was the best real-life joke I’ve heard in decades.
When we finished laughing, an old Man was about to pass again.
Since it started to get gloomy, we didn’t want to come off creepy, but the question of the day remained:
– Excuse me Sir, if you had a wish, what would you ask for?
“Gezondheid4” Says the Man without thinking; he was in his 70s
Can you see the pattern?
Not a word about money, power or fame.
Family, health and making the World a better place.
That’s what people wish for here.
With this insight, are you sure that money will make you happy?
That counting your fortune will save you from the grief of losing the ones who were very near?
That having more likes per post than the entire population of Spain will make up for an aching back or the fading memories?
These thoughts are indeed heavy for a Story like this, but we have to talk about what is truly important as we age.
Here is your chance to prevent those mistakes – Love the ones who are still here and take care of your body. After all, you’ll be living in it as long as your heart beats.
This is when Stevie remarks something that twisted the whole evening:
“Dude, it’s so weird that your hair is pink” – He says, while exhaling a cloud of lemon haze.
– Wha… OHHH. OOHH MY FUCKING GOD – I COMPLETELY FORGOT IT!” – I cry out loud, as the fact of the day hits me.
“I know man, it’s crazy“
– And all those people took me seriously. I cannot believe it.
None of us did, actually.
Our Guitar Hero wakes up to the loud pondering, packs his things and asks for a little money. Milán immediately offers to give him some of his, and I realized that this way I could finally get rid of all the coins that are clogging my wallet.
When he received the money, his eyes lit up as if we’ve just saved a girl from dying.
I wish you would’ve seen him walk away. He was full of energy, a kind of person who could face Hell and still go through it.
At the corner he turns around and shouts at us with a big grin:
“If you ever need a song, you know who to call!“
– GHOST BUSTERS! – I want to shout, but probably no one would get it.
We thanked him for his offer and wished good luck on his journey.
Who knows, one day we might hear him sing.
When he disappeared, I took a quick look around me.
Joints were flying from every possible direction of the wind.
It didn’t feel like the place where I want to be, so I let Stevie know that it would be great if we could leave.
There was one last Twix in his hand, which we split, and started packing.
Stevie was smart enough to bring shorts, which meant that he was going to freeze in this could autumn evening.
*Tip of the Day*
If you take cold showers regularly, you’ll be much more resistant against the weather and feel more comfortable on a daily basis.
We hopped on his motorcycle and left the team.
It took less than 15 seconds until he started to bawl and scream.
“WHAAAAA, WHAAAA” – That’s all you could hear as we drove through the streets. His battle roars didn’t keep him warm, but shame did.
When we got a red light, he rubbed his thighs like tomorrow didn’t exist.
The second we got to the bike stands he jumped off the moped and started to emulate an earthquake. “Command: Generate heat” – The body says.
One quick handshake and he leaves.
No more gorilla howls for today.
The night was still young, so I decided to walk a bit.
Arnhem is a huge town, and the streets are filled with Life in the evening.
When I reached the center, something astonishing stunned me:
A man carrying his wife. On a fiets5.
She was standing behind him, gorgeous and tall, while his man was handsome and sharp.
If there is any secret to Love, they knew what it is.
Even in their 40s the spark was still there to warm their relationship.
Without a doubt, this is the kind of Life I find the most fulfilling.
To all those who keep chanting “romance is dead” – come here, watch this and convince me that the truth isn’t the opposite.
This is how our Story ends today;
But before we finish, let me ask You one thing:
What would you ask for, if you were given a wish?
Take care,
Erik
15.09.2019 – Day 237
[Dutch Dictionary]
Spulletjes1 – Stuff
Vertel me2 – Tell me
Dit keer3 – This time
Gezondheid4 – Health
Fiets 5 – Bicycle
You’d be crazy to miss this.
It all starts with a plan, filled with the kind of ideas most of us would reject the second our brain comes up with them.
To be honest, I wasn’t fully aware of the consequences, but I knew one thing: A snowball would start to roll down on a hill, and soon turn into an avalanche moving towards the building of the Chamber of Commerce.
We were not meant to do dull things.
Sometimes we forget it, but our future selves will look back on our lives, and the memories will either bring them a huge smile or a facepalm with a sour sigh.
How about trying to aim for the former?
Here is a recipe for chaos that’ll never fail:
Step 1: Pick a place where you’re surrounded with a very serious atmosphere, preferably filled with lawyers or corporate employees.
Step 2: Dress like a Clown and walk in as if it was “Just another day in the office”
Step 3: In the most serious manner possible, declare that you came to do Business.
Step 4: Watch them lose their shit.
Sounds a little confusing? Give it 3 more minutes and everything will be as clear as a bathroom mirror after 4 years of “Tomorrow I’ll clean it“
My appointment was at 14:20 (A practical joke against smokers, probably)
The essentials were in the bag already: Official Documents, ID, the Polaroid; and a book to read if we have to wait in the lobby.
Those are all normal. Boring.
Here comes the spicing, just to make this Monday memorable for every person in the office:
The setup I used included a duck tie from HIMYM, a Silver Suit, shorts – and a non-matching pair of socks and shoes.
Plus the Pink Hair, obviously, but that’s just a temporarily permanent outfit.
The outcome? Mass confusion and well-mannered panic.
When I walked up to the reception, people looked up from their keyboards and computer screens. The whole department went silent for a minute. In fact, it was so quiet there, that you could actually hear the echoes of their thoughts, asking: “What the fuck is this guy doing?“
To tease you a bit, this is how my bottom half looked like when I sat on my bicycle and headed towards the office:
Exquisite taste.
When their brains processed what is happening, the silence breaks and a storm of smiles greet me.
It’s the duck tie. It always wins.
As the ringing phones and punched keys slowly bring the peace back in the office, people start to suspect that it’s just a part of some play.
A joke, prank or some kind of trick to make the office atmosphere a little better than it usually is.
Lucky for them, it was the most serious move they’ve ever seen.
The receptionist offers me a seat and asks me why I came here.
– To start a Company.
“Oh, I see… Just a minute“
You could sense the malfunction that sentence caused in her brain.
Soon, the mind begins to do it’s job a bit more efficiently:
“What the fuck are you doing here? You don’t even know what a company is, and now you wanna start one out of thin air? DOES THE WORD “TAXES” RING A BELL?“
Survival mode activated. This organ was build to protect us from such cases.
If anxiety ever kicks in before a decision with great significance, just ask yourself:
If I died tomorrow, would I rather have a memory of doing what I intended today, or being a chicken on my last day is how I want to leave the World behind me?
Works like a charm. You’ll feel like a Dog after a long belly rub.
As my heartbeat returns to a normal rate, a warm voice calls my name.
“Showtime, baby” – I mumble, and stand up from the chair.
The first impression is crucial, so you have to look like you know what you’re doing.
Confident, I mean.
And determined, serious, well-mannered, all those things.
THEN, when the two of you shake hands, every single second you spent stressing on this moment will fade away, and leave behind a weird imprint on your brain: Life is a playground, and you do what you want on it – as long as you don’t harm anybody.
We sat down at her table and in 15 minutes we were done with the establishing.
The slogan: “Crazy since 2019“
Pretty good, if you ask me.
When I walked out, the conclusion came to me as a needy dog after leaving him for 10 seconds to take something out of the fridge:
It doesn’t matter how you look like, it doesn’t matter what you wear, it doesn’t matter how old you are or what is your favorite pizza topping.
You can be whoever you want to be, as long as you do no harm and respect your surroundings.
You do you. The rest is History.
To give you a clearer pic, here it is:
P!nk hair, duck tie, shorts, silver suit and non-matching footwear.
Could it be even more dramatic?
Probably, but this should be good enough to prove you that being yourself doesn’t cost anything.
If a foreigner guy can walk into the Bureau of Tax Authorities and the Office of Legal Services in a state like this and actually start a business, you can seriously go out and try something you’ve been longing to do for years.
The result will be the same: Life goes on, and you’ll have one less regret to carry.
Just once in a goddamn while do what feels right regardless of what people think, and the World will unfold in ways you could’ve never imagined.
Take care,
Erik
23.09.2019 – Day 245
And so began the War on Mentality.
I was supposed to get to the airport with a little help, along with a “Goede reis”, but the promise behind that broke like a thin tulip against the wind.
Pinky-swears are still a thing.
When I got to the gates, a legénybúcsú1 crew was on the lose, men dressed like Vikings came to conquer, but their only weapons were folk music and fake beards – They were crushing through the mass as if tomorrow didn’t exist.
The vibe was great, the guards just couldn’t feel it.
Here and there, the traits of Hungarians fellows were spotted easily.
Faces were troubled and grumpy, wrinkles were many.
Words were mostly “Fuck this, fuck that” – swearing all the way.
After escaping all this for more than half a year, it felt a little threatening.
I could sense the dark clouds coming towards me.
My bag was caught during scanning – an old fear manifested itself into reality; let’s skip the talk on self-fulfilling prophecies.
“Hmm, let’s see; laptop, clothes… B…Books(?)… How many, exactly?“
– Six, two in the small, four in the big.
“If you’re stealing from the library, I won’t tell anybody” – He winks
My lips curve towards my ears.
“Alright, there you have it, have a nice trip“
– Dankjewel meneer2
This Guy seemed so chill he could literally survive the next Ice-age.
Just to make sure things go smoothly, I got there ~90 minutes early.
You already know what’s coming.
My flight was the only one delayed, first with 30, then an hour of bonus sitting in a noisy place.
More time to read! – my conscious saves the day.
Someone’s gotta do something with that portable library anyway.
One of them was a masterpiece, it explained the inner works of our body language. Before it dives into the mechanics, the author suggests to go and visit an airport hall for practice.
“What a treat!” – The engines start running
The amount of gold nuggets to be picked were many and time was plenty.
By the end of it, silent farts were no longer a thing.
When the gate was announced, the hunger games began in a blink. People rushed to secure a good place, you know; in the queue that won’t move an inch for another 20 minutes. After all, if you get to be the first and manage to occupy your seat, the plane will still take off at the exact same time as if you were the last one to board it.
Is it worth to push over those kids and their grannies?
Certainly.
Airport Culture – The young and the frail
1:0
When I got to my seat, a Lady was sitting there, already pissed.
Hungarian? You guessed it.
Even before I moved away, I had a strategy:
Pretend to be a foreigner and everything will be okay. Since most people have a hard time speaking English in Hungary, they’ll just smile and let you do whatever you need. Half my Life I introduced myself as Erik, the Canadian dude who studies here.
It seemed wiser not to reveal my nationality, unless I was forced to admit it.
After the plane started to slice clouds in twee3, I had the opportunity to educate myself and immerse into the Dutch market and economy. Since there was no google translate, the book seemed to be the perfect tool to hone those language skills and gain some knowledge along the way. While I was swimming in the tales of wealth and well-being, I recorded a voice message to an OG friend, $tevie – to thank him for sharing this book, when a friendly stewardess asked me to put my stuff away, in Hungarian. And I did.
That’s how you do a perfect job at blowing your cover and revealing your true place of origin.
From then on, speaking Dutch to confuse the ones who approach me wasn’t a possibility.
Fuck me. – I whispered into my armpit.
Luckily we landed safely, the bag was quickly served on the moving trails and even my parents arrived at the exact same time as I walked out of the lobby.
My Dad literally jumped on me. I felt his joy sparkling out of his body.
His son, after 7 months of living alone (responsively!) came to visit him. Pride and tears took over them, completely. When my Mom finally approached me, I wrapped them in my arms and gave them a huge kiss.
Spread some Love to those who made it possible for you to exist.
On the way home, I already felt the difference in the social dynamics.
“Distance”, if you will.
The quality of the communication is extremely poor here. In the NL, people spoil you with attention, interest and good will.
If any of those things existed in Hungary, maybe I would’ve stayed.
On the other hand, the food was something I missed badly.
A smell hit my nose in the door immediately, and the source was non other but the Godly Goulash, the best soup a Hungarian could ever make. I didn’t even put my luggage in, I just left it in the hallway.
After putting a mouthful in, “One day” I said, “I’ll be worthy to make this bowl of heavenly meal.”
At this point, my lunch was always Vegan Tacos. Every day. For half a year.
When the time came, I surprised my brother and parents with a few national beauties: Stroopwafel bergs4, chocolates and a few vegan ingredients my Mom can experiment with.
As soon as I packed out, it was time to rush to my best friend and scare him. Since his Dad gave me a key, getting in was easy.
To be honest, sneaking through their garden to avoid being seen made me feel like a 6 years old.
Adulthood? Doesn’t ring a bell.
The firm grip on the keys allowed no jiggling – the second I got in the house, my heart went crazy. It felt like a robbery, even though I was literally allowed to take anything I need.
But all I needed was a smile on their face.
So jump in the kitchen I did, about to release a wild scream at 11 in the evening, but to my greatest surprise, it was completely empty.
Alright, I guess I’ll just fuck myself then – my eyebrows creased my forehead so hard it looked like a row of speed bumps on a highway.
But then, the sound of machine guns shooting kicks in.
I walk a little closer, drop my bag.
– De Boy is thuis5! – I leap in
“Éééhéhééé” – came the surprised scream to greet me.
He threw his headset away, jumped in my arms and sat down to talk with me.*
(*online games still can’t be paused, he just went AFK)
What a warm welcome – I have to admit, I actually forgot how good it feels to be here. The rest of the night went by speaking about the struggles and happenings, especially about the workings & mechanics of Dutch Women inside their natural habitat and territory.
After all, I couldn’t say a bad word about anything. Of course, things weren’t always smooth, but are they ever really?
There were some tough spots here and there, surely – but it didn’t change the fact that it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.
When we noticed that it ceased to be Today, and that in 15 hours we have a huge birthday party to celebrate, it was time to go to sleep.
I wished them a wonderful evening and went home on the moonlit streets of suburban Hungary, where I spent more than 2 decades growing.
To top the cake, Sweet Lovin’ from Sigala was playing, which made me shake that booty all the way to our front door, no step missed.
(And believe me – I can count on one hand how many people have seen me dancing.)
The person who came back was certainly different than the one who went away. Everyone felt it, regardless of how well they knew me.
“Fundamental changes” – they called it.
The best part is, everybody can do it.
Just because you’re shy, quiet or anxious today, it doesn’t mean that it’ll stay like that for all eternity.
Deep down you know you could do it, we all do, but it’s somewhat easier to go with the flow and just let things be as they will.
Trust me, the second you step on the path of self-developing, you won’t spend another day worrying about “why are things like this?“, but ask yourself constantly:
What can I do today, to make my Life a little better than it was yesterday?
Take care,
Erik
16.08.2019 – Day 207
[Hungarian Dictionary]
Legénybúcsú 1 – Bachelor party
[Dutch Dictionary]
Dankjewel Meneer 2 – Thank you Sir
Twee 3 – Two
Bergs 4 – Mountains
Thuis 5 – At home
They might call you crazy, and they might be right.
I stood there for a solid 30 seconds before I walked in.
Not many of us made such a decision in our History, and I had no idea what would happen if I stepped in. All I knew was a line from Google translate:
“Hoi, ik zou graag mijn haarkleur naar lichtroze veranderen1“
– Licht….roze?
“Precies“
– Aahmmm… okay….
20 minutes later I had the appointment.
It was bogging my mind ever since I came back: Dye my hair pink.
Never seen a dude walking around like that, even though it’s 2019.
The appointment was set on Friday, 4 days from Today.
When the Day finally came, I could barely wait.
During the last few hours, the excitement held inside my body caused me to shake.
“I’m gonna go fucking pink today” – My mind kept repeating.
The second my shift was over, I rushed home and started to pack the most important things: The Polaroid, my wallet, a duck tie, two books and my spirit.
When I took off, something miraculous happened:
The wind was not against me.
That’s a once in a century case.
It was pushing me from the back, all the way to the City.
Fortune favors the bold, they say – so She gave a little boost to help me fulfill my destiny.
Or She was, too, just excited to see it.
When I walked in, a kind of calmness caught me:
I’m gonna do this.
When they saw that I actually came in; and that I wasn’t kidding – they gave me a seat and brought me a cup of coffee.
There was only one thing I asked before we begin:
Cover the mirrors, all of it.
The first time I’m gonna see what happened is when we’re finished.
It was a brilliant Idea from $tevie, his mind never cease to amaze me.
To my surprise though, they agreed.
As the products were brought in, the question came:
What is the color of the Crown I want to wear, precisely?
I showed them a pic from Google: This would be great.
“What are you going to be, a Unicorn?”
I wish they knew how accurate that statement is.
When they left to mix the dye, I pulled out a book and started reading. It’s gonna be at least 2-3 hours, so I better not look at my phone screen, and accidentally see my reflection if I forget to look away when I (un)lock it.
As the first round of bleach goes up, it hurts a tiny bit. After around 40 minutes, my hair eventually turned into orange, she told me. It wasn’t enough, so with a second wave she made sure that I go full Blondie.
As I’m sitting there, waiting, cycles of “Oh shit, oh shit” paired with a sprinting heartbeat shift into “Oh yes, this is it” basically every minute.
No turning back. – My fears need taming.
The best part is: I haven’t told anybody.
Nobody knew, except Stevie.
The pounding of my heart was the most intense when she washed off the second wave. I didn’t know what I looked like, but I knew that Gandalf was no match for me.
Regardless, it kept racing, as if what I’m doing is something irreversible; a permanent thing. Little did my heart know that It’ll be normal in about 15 weeks.
As the paint goes up, people who pass by start smiling.
It calms me.
“Do you think it’s gonna work?“
– Hell yes – her confidence in the project peaks.
It’s been 3 hours now, and I have no idea how my hairs looks, but it’s finished.
I asked her to record my reaction when I first see it.
I couldn’t believe it.
The second I took my hands off my eyes they rushed back to cover my mouth instead.
“BWWAAHAAAHA” – The sound of surprise bursts through my lips.
It looked better than I imagined.
Every minute I spent there was worth the wait. Every penny brought its value back, tenfold – at least.
And it’s gonna be there for another 2 months to entertain and disturb the mundane reality.
After a few rounds of long blinks, I ended up being calm and happy.
“I just dyed my hair pink!” – my thoughts couldn’t chill.
When I expressed my gratitude to the Hairmaster Lady, She was delighted to see that I’m satisfied with what I see.
Before I left, I asked her to quickly take a pic; after all – it didn’t happen, unless there is a Polaroid to prove it.
There it is:
#153 – Dye my Hair Pink – 30.08.2019, Arnhem, The Netherlands.
Flexing in a Duck Tie and feeling amazing.
The most exciting part was just about to begin.
Walking out of the building, letting the World see this crazy deed. At occasions like this, the ability to read thoughts would really come in handy. Just imagine looking at a face and hearing what the other person has to say, before, or if they say it.
“A Guy with a pink hair is now roaming the streets of my beloved city. My Mom is totally gonna love this. Should I ask him for a pic…?“
Seeing my friends for the first time would also be a big deal, after all – Nobody knew about it.
All that was left for Today is to go home, get some sleep and wake up knowing that I’m one step closer to show the World that everything and anything is possible, even your wildest Dreams.
When I got home, the landlord froze the second he saw me. He tried excessive blinking, to see if his mind has gone to take off a few days; but reality didn’t change, his tenant was still standing there, in full pink.
Before I went to sleep, my Mom also got a pic.
The only response I got was: “If this makes you happy… 🙂“
You can feel her intense pride in it.
At least She knows that I’m straight.
After a Day like this, none of us could deny it.
So no more heart attacks for the day.
In the end, I’m very glad that I did it.
The experiences that’ll come with it cannot be measured in money, and it’s certainly a story to tell my Children when they demand a bedtime story.
“Once upon a time, when your old Man was still young, an idea struck him; “Let’s end those cheap brunette days, and spice it up with some pink!“
Their eyebrows raise, pupils dilate, and the tale of their Silly Daddy sparks up their mind to chase their Dreams.
After all, there is no greater feat for a parent than making their Kids believe.
“Be the one who decided to go for it.“
Take care,
Erik
30.08.2019 – Day 221
[Dutch Dictionary]
Hoi, ik zou graag mijn haarkleur naar lichtroze veranderen1 –
Hi, I would like to change my hair color to light pink.
Here is some Magic:
Your soul is not for sale.
After the intoxicating evening, our bodies were drained and lazy. Eventually our lips would find their way to start the engines and make our heart race, yet if you try to get a Woman out of bed while She’s comfortable cuddling, well –
Not today.
After satisfying our hunger through destroying calories, we realized that we need something to eat. How great it is that the kitchen counter can function in many ways.
Now that our hearts were filled, our stomachs wanted to feel the same; so She decided to make a Russian dish to solve it. If I ever hear the word “Buckwheat” again, I’ll know never to avoid it.
It became the synonym of Yummy.
When the bowls turned empty, it was 2 in the afternoon already – and She still couldn’t find anything to start a fight with. Strange. Perhaps our morning routine was the catalyst for a productive day.
As the house started to wake, the dining room slowly turned into an Arena, where the weapon of choice was verbal reasoning.
The benevolent intention of the parents versus a Cheeky Blonde.
You can imagine.
I was just sitting there quietly, absorbing. The amount of Dutch I was surrounded with increased my comprehension by 30% under a day.
In the heat of the moment, I couldn’t help but laugh at the fiercely colliding logic between the parents and my stressed out Lady.
After the quarrel was finished, I asked her to lay her head on a piece of cloth, so I can do something about her stress intensity. It was just about time to pull out my massage skills, her neck felt like a pillar made out of concrete. As I slowly tore down the stiffness in her body, her Mom walks by behind me;
“She is in GOOD HANDS” – My sense of humor wants to speak, but right before I could say it, a warm smile signaled that She, perhaps, thought the same.
As the storm starts to calm and the decibel output of the inwoners1 decreased, the house, once again; became a quiet and cozy place.
Her stomach interrupts the brief tranquility with a few growls aimed at our ears.
“Time to eat!” – The organs demand energy.
Learning from the argument of (the year)sterday, the cooking went a lot smoother dit keer2, though my part wasn’t very significant in making it.
During the preparation process, both of us were finally working.
Can you imagine? After all those days, we were actually doing something productive. If it isn’t growth, I don’t know what it is.
While the ingredients were doing their thing, She was assembling the cutest letter to convince couples about her outstanding ability to babysit.
It it certainly less stressful than managing a Vegan restaurant helemaal alleen3.
As She made the finishing touches on our godly dish, I was sending the remaining projects that my 4th boss asked from me.
I know, sounds like a workaholic – I really need to learn how to Live (Laugh, Love), that’s why I paired up with the Devil’s Daughter, a.k.a This sweet Blondie.
When the bowls were filled, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
How could a Man complain when a Woman puts something like this in front of him?
She spoils me with her magic – I could barely finish it, and it didn’t even have any meat in it.
“So, can you now make this?”
– Uhhm… Not really…
“VERDOMME4, IT’S SO SIMPLE & EASY!” – Her wrath lashes on me.
I was supposed to learn a Vegan dish to have something to surprise my Mom with, because the only thing I can make became a little boring.
As we struggle to finish off the deal with the meatless meal, some of her relatives join for a visit.
“You’ve been here for only 2 days, and basically you’ve been introduced to the entire family”
Lucky me(?) I couldn’t yet tell if it was an advantage.
As the Sun was passing out for today, She was planning on taking me to the train station, but due to the lack of wine in her body, She, once again – started complaining. After all, the newcomers haven’t yet heard it.
Instead of burying my head like an ostrich – to avoid hearing the exquisite speech for the 4th time today, I decided to take the opportunity and get the most out of it, by listening and learning. The language is still hard, regardless of how much I’m exposed to it.
When She finished explaining her miseries to the rest of the Family, her disappointment increased when her Hungarian friend left her hanging.
Our blood forbids this.
A Man should keep his word, regardless of how things change – That’s the Hungarian piece that I’ll carry through my Life with me.
Gaining a Hungarian’s trust is challenging, yet an enormous feat. If you treat it well, your Life will flourish till the end of days.
As the time came, I said goodbye to them and jumped in the car, pondering, how the fuck did I end up in a warm place like this.
On the way to the station, She remarked but one thing:
“Soo… 2 days. We’ve spent together 48 hours, and I’ve only wanted to kill you once. That’s…something – we’re improving!“
Remember this, if you have a tendency to fall for Psychos like me*
“Love is being willing to die for someone that you yourself want to kill”
-Whitney Cummings
If one thing, I agreed – we were certainly growing. Even if it’s not linear, the future seemed brighter than it ever did.
Many plans were made, most of them were wilder than my greatest dreams. All the way from exploring new countries, cooking the most amazing meals, taking a banana for a walk – Conquering the World in it’s entirety.
Nothing seemed impossible after these evenings.
Little did I know, that History’s cruel joke is to repeat its happenings; and the moment I got out of the car was our last when we saw each other smiling.
“You will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory”
-Dr. Seuss
May you value each and every second you spend in the company of a loved one or your best mates, because it might be the last time you have a chance to truly experience it.
Take care,
Erik
20.07.2019 – Day 180
[Dutch Dictionary]
Inwoners1 – Inhabitants
Dit keer2 – This time
Helemaal alleen3 – Completely alone
Verdomme4 – Damn (it)
How to become a Surgeon on a Spacecraft for a Janitor’s wage.
“What the hell?“
Let me explain.
There is a showroom next to the Gym, full of Bentleys and Maseratis.
Every single day I walk past them, quietly admiring their astonishing beauty.
The door is always closed, and I’ve never seen anyone in there – except Today.
I noticed that the garage door was open. It was the owner, presumably.
“Ah, what’s the use. He would probably just send me away, why would anyone let a migrant walk around their most valuable things anyway” – Doubt took over me.
I started to walk home, but a question stopped me.
“What do I have to lose, for real?“
It was in that moment of fear, when the decision between triumph or regret was made.
I was standing still for a good 15-20 seconds, before I finally turned around and decided to go in.
It started with a shy peek, then I put my feet on the line of the building.
He looked at me, quite confused, but didn’t say anything.
“Your cars are unbelievable. Would you mind if I looked at them for a minute?” – the words came out, trembling
A tiny smile appeared in the corner of his mouth.
“Come in, look around” – He waved
And so I did.
The amount of wealth I looked at during those 5 minutes surpassed everything I’ve ever seen. Wherever I looked, the prices just kept growing.
Some cars were worth 300.000€ (Ferrari 512 BBI)
That is 95 million Hungarian Forints.
I don’t know anyone with such a degree of success in my country, especially that we only drive the cheapest Suzukis.
And it was just one car out of many. There was more than 30.
When I finished spilling my saliva all over the place, I asked him about how did he build up all this.
He told me his story, briefly. I was listening intently – how often do you get a chance to listen to a millionaire who’s been in business for over 50 years?
When he finished, I asked him if there is anything I could do for him; even for free – but I didn’t say it out loud until he said something.
“Well, cleaning“
I’ve been doing that for 5 hours every day already.
“I could do it” – I said, with my words still stumbling.
“Okay. Tomorrow at 12. See you here.”
It took him 2 sentences to hire me.
What makes a millionaire trust in a stranger to allow him to clean around his most valuable things?
The next day I left the gym at 11:59, rushed to the building, but it was closed.
I was disappointed, and a little relieved.
“What have I thought anyway” – my demons jumped on the opportunity to tear down my mental well-being.
But I didn’t leave.
I kept looking in, through all the windows I could find to see if there is anyone who could notice me. I knocked on them, tried the door 5 times just to be sure that I’m not a dummy.
Then I gave up, and decided to leave.
My colleague saw me looking, and she asked me what am I doing.
I told her I was supposed to be in there, working.
And the most surprising thing happened: She believed me.
She didn’t say “Hahaha, yea, sure. What do you have to do with those Maseratis?“
She stopped and said: Look, a door there is open.
And she pointed out an entrance at the other side of the building I have not yet seen.
If I gave up after the first time I shook the knob at 12:00, I would’ve missed my colleague, and She would’ve never pointed out the door that was open here.
It made me wonder if it was Fate, Luck – or some other thing that kept me there for that extra 5 minutes, to stumble upon her and entirely change the outcome of the day.
I was already 7 minutes late, so I went around the building and rushed in, where the sweetest secretary Lady ever greeted me.
I told her what happened yesterday, and She immediately led me to the office, where the Old Man was sitting.
“Ahhh… E…Er-Erik(?)!“
-Yes, I’m here
“Great, let’s sit down for a minute and discuss the details“
We went to a charming conference room next to an old timer Bentley – and had a chat about how could I help here.
But first, they asked me about my Story.
I told them that I came here 6 months ago, with 2 weeks of clothes and a Big Dream. I told them where I came from, how did I get here, and that I speak a little of their native language.
At that moment, they lost their shit.
After the Old Man realized that I could speak their language, he refused to talk to me in English.
“You need to learn” – He remarked firmly, but with goodwill.
That second, I understood the reason behind everything he achieved.
I agreed; if there is someone who knows what leads to a good Life, it’s him. He’s been doing this for over 50 years.
Half a century; Can you believe?
Then he introduced me to the vacuum cleaner and wished me good luck with it.
“Oh by the way – don’t bump into the cars with that thing. You can’t afford to damage them, not in your 20s“
That’s how I became the surgeon of cars, with the duty of keeping a spacecraft clean. No mistake was allowed here. Luckily, step-by-step, I managed to clean the entire place; without hitting off any paint.
While I was close to the windows facing the Gym, my co-worker walked out to unlock his motorfiets1. He turned around for a second, noticed me briefly, but pulled his head away. Then it hit him.
He turned back, looked right at me and his jaw fell on the concrete.
His mouth was open, eyebrows raised, heavily blinking – none of us could believe what’s happening.
I just shrugged and continued to vacuum clean between a Jaguar and a Bentley.
He shook his head in disbelief, then drove away.
When the clock struck 3, the Old Man tapped my shoulders and invited me for an ice-cream.
I sat down with him and the Kind Fairy, then he gave me a brief summary on how to be successful in the 21st century.**
This is how a kid from the East, who came here with nothing but a Dream ended up cleaning between Ferraris, for 10€/hour, under 190 days.
When we finished, I picked up my bag, walked out of the building and went home endlessly repeating the following:
A millionaire just hired me.
Please, if you walk away with anything, let it be this:
Dare to Dream big, for the love of God;
Take the opportunities.
Your heart will show you the way – All you have to do is step on it.
Take care,
Erik
30.07.2019 – Day 190
** Would you like a Post written about the knowledge he shared about the ways for a successful living? Let me know, and I’ll write about it.
[Dutch Dictionary]
Motorfiets 1 – Motorcycle/Motorbike
“Guys, wanna throw a picnic in Sonsbeek?”
None of us needed more convincing.
This is the place.
A huge field, surrounded by a small forest and a few lakes – barely touched by anything human-made.
The grass is green, the sun is shining and the people are happy.
If you ever come to Arnhem, don’t miss out on seeing this.
All you need is a blanket, some snacks and a few friends to chill with. If you happen to travel alone, no worries. This place is famous of its kindness and hospitality. All it takes is a smile paired with a gentle “Hi”, and you’ve made yourself a new set of buddies.
The amount of quality time you can spend here is technically endless – the only limit is the weather, except if you’re not a pussy to smile at the sky while it’s dripping.
They already picked a place, but I was kinda late from getting there because I was writing the story about the crazy chick who turned my Life upside down just a couple of days before this.
Of course, they wanted to know all the details.
No running from it, I guess.
As I was cycling through the city to get this Mansion, the weather decided to surprise the traffic with heavy rain. I had to park under a tree, about 200 meters from the entrance.
The sunglasses, shorts and my T(hin)-shirt couldn’t take it. This set was prepared for a sunny evening. On the upside, it cooled the temperature to the best possible degree; around 24-26.
When the Sun came back in 10 minutes, I finally got in and started to explore this piece of human heaven.
Before I could even wave, they were already screaming.
“EEEHEHEEEEY, ÉÉRIIK” – Shouted my Colombian Brother, before he hugged my lungs out of their place.
Then I was introduced to 2 French ladies, who were sunbathing under the clear sky which was flooding the town 3 minutes prior to this.
The blanket contained everything a man could ever need: Beers, chips, appeltaarts1 and other Dutch cookies.
There was an abundance of food, drink and wonderful company.
As I sat down to complete the circle they made, they already hit me with the most important question of the day:
“So what are you drinking? We’ve got beer, vodka, whisk-“
– Water.
“Oh come ooon! You drink that all the time already!“
– Precies2
It took only 5 seconds and everyone was already pissed at this “healthy mentality”
Regardless of what people think, long-term health is worth more than peer-pressure boozing.
This was the moment when Huán pulled out a bag of weed
– Plan B, eh?
“Ohhoho, yes it is“
– *Khm* Son of a bitch.
As the clouds passed by even further, the heat started to raise.
Since we were surrounded by girls, it would’ve been inappropriate to take off our shirts, but considering our physical condition it’s not that big a of deal. People tend to be more tolerant when they see a 6-pack that doesn’t refer to a box of beer, but rather to a decent body.
Soon a jonko3 was made, diligently by Colombian excellency, who then lit up the torch of Helios and took an ungodly puff before passing it.
The secret sauce was the quality, straight outta Eindhoven.
One does not simply celebrate a good day with cheap ass things.
After a few rounds, there were no complaints.
The food turned to amazing from great, the weather seemed as perfect as it physically can be – and the company we spent our time in became something indescribably fulfilling.
Friendships are tightened during such days, sometimes to a degree, where the bonds can no longer be severed – even if the separation would last for decades.
This is when the idea for a dramatic shot came in.
– Can you handle a Camera? – flew the question to one of the Madams.
“If you show me…I can handle anything“
I wish this French passion and confidence was taught in other societies.
So I took it out of my bag, and put the Polaroid in her hands.
– Okay guys, how about something cute. Like hugging, or laying.
“I’m in” – the answer came from both of them.
– Let’s put our heads together, in a triangle, as in those cliché clips from the movies.
“Let’s just not put our heads in duck poop or something…” – Claudia spread the awareness for the downside of an untouched natural space.
And so did we lay on grass, rubbing our heads together like the palms of Mr. Montgomery from the Nuclear plant of Springfield.
“Three, two, ooooone -“
Click; * Bzzz *
If taking good pictures was a crime, the French Lady would have to go to jail.
She nailed it to the degree I would’ve never expected a Polaroid to come out with such a quality.
This made the entire day an unforgettable memory, regardless of how many decades will pass until our bodies end up in a grave.
Friends like them, however far they may be – will always be carried in the part of my heart that allows no feeling to cease.
Close those valuable days inside, seal them tight; because one day you’ll wake up old and wrinkly – and your best memories will be the ones you were brave enough to fully feel.
Take care,
Erik
16.06.2019 – Day 146
[Dutch Dictionary]
Appeltaart 1 – Apple Pie
Precies 2 – Exactly
Jonko 3 – Joint
“Fuck, I forgot I would pick you up” – comes the message with the loudest laughter.
And so did the weekend start with a little dementia.
After all, technically She wasn’t late. You can’t be, if you don’t even know that you have to be there in the first place.
Using the usual extra hour She gives me every single time we meet, I decided to read a little – so there would be at least one productive activity during that day.
We made plans to conquer the World, but that’s not an overnight project, especially if you live at the exact opposite ends of the sleeping scale.
Are you a Night Owl or an Early Bird?
When the clock struck 3, her car parked in.
I was already outside, eagerly waiting – because I knew that today was going to be an amazing day.
I hopped in and off we went to her place.
She seemed a little irritable at first; and Fire-spitting Green Dragon at second.
I barely got in the car, her fierce rant over the place She works at quickly began, and it didn’t stop for at least 20 minutes.
Sometimes I was wondering if She even breathes, because the words just kept coming relentlessly, but her lungs didn’t seem to grow or shrink – not even a bit. Fast forward a few eyebrow raises, emphatic and agreeing nods later She finished with unleashing hell; verbally.
“Okay, I’m done talking about work. How are you? :))“
Her tone suddenly changed from a mountain ogre’s to a cute little hamster’s.
Unfortunately my attempts to practice Dutch were in vain, her patience and emotional state prevented her from using it in a way that would allow us to properly speak it.
If you’ve ever seen a machine-gun in action, double the amount of bullets it shoots per second and replace them with words. That’s how fast her tongue was lashing.
Before we arrived, some agreements had to be made: Not doing anything useless until we get some work done.
For example:
1. Productivity
2. Cooking
3. Everything else.
Oh boy, was it hard to follow even something simple like this.
When the car parked in and I said hi to the Family, She rushed out for her new GoPro to make a quick photo shoot at her Van. After the pictures were done, She jumped on her laptop and started to put a few building blocks in the Castle of her Dreams.
While She was busy, I choose to practice the greatest physical challenge I’ve ever tackled: The One Arm Handstand.
Over the last 2 years I’ve put more and more effort into achieving this seemingly unreachable dream, but with every step we take towards the things we want or need, the road becomes shorter after each deed.
Of course, no leisure together is fun without a little quarrel or brawl.
All we needed is a little cooking, until at one point She exploded like a dynamite and her shouts flooded my ears like the Read Sea did with the Egyptians after Moses walked through it.
Apparently her Family heard the entire thing, so they decided to peek in to see if everything is okay.
And it was, as always. A small argument is always on the menu, but it’s just a mere bite, not even a side dish.
One of the recipes She chose included a kind of vegetable I still don’t know what the hell it is, but for sure, it needed 3 hours of constant heating.
Every half hour, it had to be bathed in olive oil, as if it was a Roman emperor who was extremely needy for a soft skin.
As the day went by, her fury lessened, piece by piece – but the stress didn’t cease, since there were things that could not be solved in a quick tongue whipping. The complaints were read out loud to every member of the Family. I was there at each one, and She was more passionate at every subsequent try at it.
By the time the food was served, all of us could eat in peace.
As the meal was transferred through our teeth, and the plates became leeg1, an actual conversation could finally take place.
Ideas were shared, progress was made. Her annoyance couldn’t completely cease, that’s when her mom came up with the ultimate solution to such a case:
“Alright, wine it is“
A mild smile appeared on her face, signaling that She feels better just by the thought of getting wasted with her loved ones in this wonderful evening.
Before we would get comfy, some snacks were made: Fruit salad, chips, and some sweet popcorn to top this night’s cheat-cake.
Her Sister mentioned how all this will affect their shape, I laughed at their thin being. Apparently they call skin “excess fat” on their body. This remark made them both pull out their bellies, trying to squeeze as much out of it as their hands could take – just so they could convince me of their ability to win a sumo-championship.
It’s so lovely to live in a World where people with 50 kg think about themselves as obese.
When the snacks were ready, we found ourselves sinking into a soft couch or hanging seat in their living space.
Even before the wine would hit, I suddenly realized:
I’m sitting in a room full of people I thought I would never have around me.
Her parents were as kind as it gets – the openness I received was more than I could handle. The past started to creep up on me, whispering bullshit in my ears:
“You don’t belong here, you don’t deserve this“
I took a deep breath, looked at them once again – and seeing the warmth in their eyes helped me mute those demons for Life.
Took a sip of Portuguese wine, with a low-key smile, and just jumped back into the conversation without thinking about the bad parts of my former Life.
The quality of intellect in the room was so dense you could almost grasp it. The air was filled with thoughts as deep as the Ocean, and all of knew how to dive and swim.
If I had to pay for the comfort in relation to the intensity I felt it, I couldn’t afford this.
Now I have a clearer picture of how my imaginary family Life will be, especially that not so long ago I thought I won’t even have one in the first place. The amount of respect, attention and benevolence they shared was unreal. It literally took mental effort to accept kindness to this degree.
As the wine bottles slowly started to run out, so did our energy.
Around 3 am my mind stopped functioning, putting the dot on this brilliant evening.
When we ended up crawling to bed, I figured a great secret about the nature of whining:
If someone just won’t stop complaining, smile at them, pour them a glass of wine and see how their stress melts in that fine grape blood they just chugged under a minute.
Take care,
Erik
19.07.2019 – Day 179
[Dutch Dictionary]
Leeg 1 – Empty
My colleagues were sitting on needles, mocking me the hele1 day.
“You know you owe us with the entire story… We’re Women, we need to gossip”
Lovely. Now I can’t even have a moment of peace at my workplace.
I arrived home with just enough time to pack my things and head for the train. Figuring out the system wasn’t simple, the western public transport is a lot more complicated than it seems. Nevertheless, I managed to not leave the country.
Apparently it’s very easy here to just board a train, look at the endless wheat fields and suddenly wake up in Germany.
An hour later when I got to the station where we were supposed to meet – She tells me that the hangover from last night’s heavy drinking is still undermining her attempts to get to me.
This is why books are handy. No anxious phone tapping, just chilling and reading while waiting.
After 30 minutes She arrives to finally kidnap me, but describing her location isn’t one of her peak qualities. It took about 7 minutes to find each other, even though her car was right fucking next to me. I walked past it 4 times, at least.
Clumsy bitches, we have been.
We were heading towards “The Dutch middle of nowhere” – as She calls it, a quiet and hidden place, away from all the bullshit.
The plan was to binge-watch Stranger Things.
With FOUR Women. You can(‘t) imagine.
This came with the consequence of inevitably meeting her Family.
I would lie if I said that the thought didn’t stress me.
I mean – compared to her, it couldn’t be a bigger deal…
Her brother and sister were the ones who first saw me.
Their welcome was warm and friendly.
Apparently people just can’t stop being kind here – Which makes me wonder if it’s their culture or they just simply like me.
Regardless of what the answer is, we had to prepare for a long night of binge-watching – but before that, our stomachs had to be filled.
All I could do is pet their sweet Spanish dog(s), while the 2 blonde goddesses were cooking.
“Wat een Leven” – dacht ik2
The greatest feeling of the day was that I got used to their dialect very quickly. They were mostly using English, but that didn’t mean that I shouldn’t answer in their language.
After all, if not now, when would I do it?
For some reason, the impression it made was lasting.
Soon the food was prepared, and it was served at the exact same time when the Story I’ve written; The Treasure of the Sea – was published. She was eagerly waiting to read it.
With the help of her sister, we could restrain her from sinning. The amount of effort She put in cunning and trickery was unending. She would do everything in order see it, even if the timing wasn’t right for it – we had to keep an eye on her every second of every minute.
While we were eating, She rushed to her room to bring something – a notebook from her last trip, depicting the Sea.
She was the one who took me – for the first time – to the Sea.
This was the first gift I ever received without a Special day.
People don’t really surprise you in Hungary, unless it’s Christmas or your birthday.
It ended up decorating my room – whenever I walk in or out of my place, it reminds me how far I’ve came from the place that I thought would be my grave.
“Stranger things first, reading second” – a reminder had to be made.
Her attempts to cheat on us didn’t cease.
After eating, their friends started to show up, so we could finally begin.
Oh god. They just couldn’t stop talking.
But it wasn’t just foreign noise anymore, every word suddenly had a meaning. The sentences slowly echoed in my head, making more sense every minute.
All these months of studying, and I finally made it.
I don’t remember the last time I was this proud of achieving something.
Though She kept distance the entire day, by the end of the second episode She was cuddling like a bear, trying to contain her screams as the jump-scares appeared.
In the meantime the annoyance didn’t cease.
“cAn I rEaD iT?” – She asked endlessly.
The night was supposed to be chill, but with her it ain’t that easy.
Apparently it became the best piece I’ve written since I started blogging, and that made her sit on needles while we were binging.
Just as The Story, so was day – completely amazing.
Not long after finishing the 3rd episode, I finally gave in.
She popped her phone in a fraction of a second and started reading.
It didn’t feel right to see her do it while She was next to me. It might sound weird, but somehow, distance would’ve made it more intimate. Nevertheless, the reaction was far from what I imagined. The disappointment would’ve hit me, but the positive feedback from others balanced it.
Around midnight when everyone else was already asleep, we were laying on the couch, trying to figure out what the hell this is.
If something is difficult in Life, it’s knowing exactly how you feel about certain things.
“Baby steps” – we concluded after spending 2 hours on self-discovery.
By 2 am we got to the point where the only option was going to sleep, so we dragged ourselves to the garage and struggled to transform a storage room into a four-star hotel with a fireplace.
She carefully lit the logs, so we would fall asleep to the sound of fire-cracking as the Moon above us slowly slipped away.
The next morning they were preparing to spend the day in a Dutch amusement park: Efteling
There was no time to fool around, yet She chose to make us a decent ontbijt3.
The amount of ingredients She used to fill a simple sandwich was above my pay grade.
Not once have I seen two slices of bread stuffed like this.
I wish a had a photo of the art piece, but the hunger was stronger than the desire to document it.
After eating the 5 of us was squeezed into the car and we left the property.
On the way to drop me off I saw her turn into a Woman from a 14 year old kid.
It’s incredible what make up does these days.
Her sister is an actual artist – and we agreed on once making me a gorgeous female, but for that; as all Woman – they wanted to get rid of my beard.
There is only one way to do it: with a wild bet on it.
Something that involves an exciting risk – otherwise it’s not worth it.
One does not simply lose his beard without gambling.
On the way to the station we’ve been through at least 4 tickle-fights. That’s how you make an impression, by showing off both your childish and mature sides. Staying in touch with the inner child can be challenging.
Before they parked the car and dropped me off, I was given a piece of wisdom to think about for the rest of my Life:
“Life is a bitch, so learn how to fuck it”
– Her Mom
I wish adults were this badass in my country.
When they left I pulled out my book to wait for the train, but before I would dive into it, I sent her one last message:
“Jouw familie is… echt gezellig”*
Take care,
Erik
[Dutch Dictionary]
Hele 1 – Entire
Wat een Leven, Dacht ik 2 – What a Life – I thought
Ontbijt 3 – Breakfast
Echt Gezellig * – Extremely pleasing* – A kind of compliment that means a lot, especially if it is received.
Featured Image: Farewell to Anger by Leonid Afremov
I couldn’t believe it.
Right after the day McDonald’s rejected me, I got a call at 9 in the morning:
“Hi, I’m ****** from Fit For Free – You left your CV at us 2 weeks ago. Are you still looking?“
For a moment, my brain stopped working.
– Good morning, I’m Erik – Yes, I’m still looking.
“Great, are you available today?“
– Of course
“Could you come between 2 or 3?“
– Certainly
“Perfect, ask for me when you’re here“
That was it. The moment I’ve been waiting for ever since I came here.
A thin ray of hope that the period of starvation, struggle and pain would finally cease.
Well, technically I wasn’t starving anymore, there was one thing I could always eat. – Thanks to the girl who twisted me.
This left only one task for the day: Do. Not. Fail.
Starting with a shower all the way to beard trimming I made sure my appearance was as neat as it could be.
An hour before the clock would hit 3, I walked inside and asked the receptionist lady.
“Take a seat, the manager will be here immediately.”
The Ice-breaker must have been the motivational letter attached to the CV, it was diligently written to increase the chances of succeeding.
In less than 60 seconds the manager appeared:
“Ah, you must be Érik. I’m glad you’re here“
– Ik ook1 — Starting off with the joker skill: Talking in their own language.
She was confused for a second, but kept talking in English.
The moment she asked me when did I come here, I revealed that it wasn’t even 3 months ago since I moved to this country – my Dutch glued her eyebrows to the ceiling.
Under 10 minutes she realized that there is no point in questioning me – I was the perfect candidate.
She offered me the job without hesitating.
“But…Since you’re a foreigner, we will need to do a lot of paperwork, starting with registration, BSN number, bankpas2 and all those thin-“
I slammed everything on the table, right before she could finish.
“Wauw3. Okay, I see you came prepared. In this case, give me a minute, I need to scan these“
5 minutes later I was officially an employee.
I did not leave anything to chance today. The mentality was “Not going home until I get the job of my dreams” – in this case, vacuum cleaning and floor mopping.
Here is a picture of the place:
Bright environment, warm colleagues – and the most important benefit:
Easy to reach. With a bike It’s only 10 minutes away.
I have to start at 7 in the morning, working only 5 hours a day. The perfect baan4 that leaves me time for side hustling.
After 41 rejections, –2000€ in debt and countless days spent on losing sleep – I could finally start living.
It took 80 days to win, but the lesson is clear:
Do. Not. Quit.
You are just one commitment away from achieving your Dreams.
“Where there is a will, there is a way”
George Herbert
Take care, as always.
Erik
[Dutch Dictionary]
Ik ook 1 – Me too
Bankpas 2 – Bank card
Wauw 3 – Wow
Baan 4 – Job
At 9 am her alarm stung our ears.
The wine would’ve made sure that we stay knocked out until 10 – But for some reason it was still on, regardless that leaving bed before 2 pm (when it comes to her) is highly unlikely.
So let’s just hit the snooze button for 5 hours and pretend to be asleep.
Since it was quite a while ago when we last consumed a decent dish, I realized how warm would it be to surprise her with breakfast served on a silver plate.
I went down to the kitchen to prepare something amazing, which consisted of grapes, almonds, bananas, cashews and 2 slices of bread with peanut butter on it.
I was so proud when I put it in front of her.
Her response was unbelievable, just as expected:
“You know you can actually put more peanut butter on the bread, so the thick layer would taste well, right?“
Gratitude at its finest.
“Just smile and breathe, babe. Smile and breathe” – Sounded the voice in my brain, preventing me from throwing her out the window along with the plate.
As She was feasting on the dish, a sudden idea struck her psyche:
“Have you ever been at the Sea?“
– N…No?
“Do you have towels and swimming trunks?“
– Yea?
“Then grab two of them and let’s go for a dip“
Apparently, food makes Women go crazy.
Rapidly after eating She decided to brush her hair in my room, just to leave enough breadcrumbs that will remind me of her existence for at least ~60 days.
On the way there, we started to talk in Dutch, so I could finally use what I’ve learned in the past 20 weeks.
It’s a brilliant thing to use a third way to express your feelings.
Since She uses a kind of dialect I haven’t heard yet, it was difficult to decipher the things She said to me.
After spending only a few months here, the results were impressive.
The mood even gave an opportunity to listen to my first joke in my newest foreign language:
“Twee Belgen lopen samen naast elkaar, vraagt de een ineens aan de andere: He, mag ik in het midden lopen?“
Google translate will help you get it.
After roughly an hour and a half later we arrived to the other side of the country, to introduce me to a World I’ve never seen.
As we walked closer to the beach, She was eagerly waiting for the moment when I notice the Sea, but I just kept walking, completely unaware that it’s already in front of me.
“That’s… The Sea. Can’t you see it?!” – The impatience bursts out of her fiercely.
In that moment my eyes popped, my mouth went wide open – I couldn’t close them for at least 2 minutes, the degree of amazement completely took over me, meanwhile She was low-key filming, with her lips curved all the way up to her ears.
We got to the end of the wooden walkway.
“Time to take your shoes off. Ready?“
When my feet first touched the sand underneath, it felt like walking on silk.
It was smooth, soft and delicate – just like petting a baby sheep.
We dropped our things and I ran straight in.
She thought I was crazy for going so heedlessly, but came after me anyway.
As we started to run towards each other like in the movies, slowed by the current and the weight of the waves – we met in the middle, She jumped in my arms and I tasted the Sea through her lips.
“So…This is the first time you see the Sea? I’m scoring a lot of first times with you, aren’t I?” – She mocked with the cheekiest smile I’ve ever seen.
The waves just kept pushing us all the way, we were tossed by them like the floating remains of a wrecked ship.
No pirate in History had the Fortune to stumble upon a treasure like She is.
The second we came out of the water, I started to collect memories.
Shells, stones and Coral thingies.
She did the same, but with human waste.
When her hand was filled with garbage, She noticed a small bucket at a trash bin.
“Do you wanna build a sand castle?” – Her inner child was unleashed.
– Count me in.
And back we went to feel like 6.
I don’t know what heaven looks like, but now I know the face of those who fly in it.
Luckily you don’t need a time machine if your spirit is young enough to do such things.
For some reason, an army of ladybugs just kept raiding our hips. After an hour of tapping and packing, at least 20 of them was struggling around our feet.
Nevertheless, the Fortress ended up like this:
After finishing the art piece, we went for another round of walking.
As I switched my focus from hunting rocks to cigarette stubs and plastic, She just shook her head in disbelief, then gave me a huge kiss.
Soon the garbage was delivered to its rightful place, so we could have our dinner with some inner peace.
“This is a good day“
– Good? Nooohoho… That word is too simple. It’s brilliant. Amazing. Or unbelievable. Glorious, maybe? Noo…magic– MAGNIFICENT!
“Magnificent?“
-Yep, that’s it.
“And it’s not even over yet ;)” – She looked at me with a bold grin.
We walked into a place with an open terrace facing the beach, completely giving the feeling of being in Hawaii, charmed by the view of the waves while we were melting into a couch as the mild wind brought us the smell of the Sea.
If I had a dollar for every restaurant I’ve been in, I could barely afford a cup of tea, but I have to say – considering the location of this place, the prices were way too cheap.
In the end, we slowly filled ourselves with wonder and beauty, while the sun was setting once again in our company.
There was one thing in my mind that I couldn’t let go of:
To hold her once more before we leave.
There is a Hungarian expression we say when a Woman clicks with a Man beyond limits, it’s called: Levenni egy Nőt a lábáról
Which, if translated, would mean something like this: Charm a Woman off her feet. Pretty much make her levitate.
That’s one thing from my Bucket List I found extremely hard to make, until this day.
I told her it’s the perfect spot, let alone occasion to do it – so without wasting another second we picked a place where She carefully set up the Polaroid on a trash bin, with the magical composition of the Sea, sand and the sky behind me.
We had 8 seconds to make it, She pressed the button and rushed towards me.
The moment She jumped in my arms the World went silent and time ceased to exist.
Not once in my Life did I feel this complete.
#23 Charm a Woman off her feet (2019.06.23, Hoek van Holland – Loïs)
Apparently the Polaroid couldn’t capture anything, but the essence of the picture is on it.
The small dust spots even make it seem like we’re swimming with stars in space.
This day made me richer than any other thing I could ever buy for money.
Since it was past 11 in the evening, we decided to leave, but one idea struck us on how to put a cherry on today’s royal cake.
Long story short, Sex on the Beach now means more than just a fancy cocktail.
All that was left now is a 90 minute drive back to my city, to drop me off and close the day. The roads were empty and the night was silent, so we drove through the country with soothing melody dancing in our ears.
At one moment Bruno Mars suddenly came on with his famous “Just The Way You Are“, to which She grabbed my hand tightly and we began to sing as loud as our throats could take.
Her voice felt like honey – sweet and clean.
Luckily I was there to balance it – If I had to compete with a piece of rock in singing, the jury would have a hard time telling who is more pleasing.
To be honest, I would be fine with 2nd place.
We arrived to my place at 2 in the morning, but before I would let her go, I had to say what’s on my mind before it’s too late:
“You know, even if I was 85 with a severe case of Alzheimer’s, I would still remember You, and the things we did“
We kissed under a streetlamp once more, then She drove away –
leaving me with another Dream fulfilled.
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams”
– Eleanor Roosevelt
Take care,
Erik
“I’ll be there around 7“ – Said the message
Tuurlijk1.
She is like those mind-blowing birthday parties – If the host says it starts at 6, people will arrive after 8.
So I had at least an extra hour to play with.
Our plan was to drink wine and chill on the beach, but that’s too dull for two rebel younglings, dus2 I figured it’s time to bring those legendary cooking skills to the table and spice up the night by making some Glühwein.
“It’s the easiest thing in the kitchen” – Said the article
How is it that they put this on top of every single recipe?
The list of ingredients was simple indeed: Wine + flavouring
In this case orange, cinnamon, cloves – and some honey to put the cherry on the cake.
Sounds simple, isn’t it?
As always, there was a twist: Do NOT boil it, because the alcohol will evaporate.
Keep it on simmer and the blood of Jesus will bring you to heaven the moment it touches your lips.
While the wine was in the making, I picked up a book and started to wait until She announces that She is going to be a bit late.
In less than 5 minutes, my phone lit up to the following:
“Still haven’t left, will be a little late…“
I would’ve been in big trouble if She didn’t show up late – especially that I haven’t finished cooking, and a good cook never passes on tasting, so I had the chance to consume a decent amount of that divine liquid – solely for research, obviously.
The smell of grape juice filled the house, while the remaining pages of my book grew smaller with every passing minute.
“Almost there” – came the message
I took the wine off the stove and poured it into a thermo thing.
Smells good, tastes good – ready to become the crown jewel of the evening.
Or so it seemed.
When She arrived and finished pouring her entire closet in my room as if She was about to move in, I put her on my shoulder and started to discover the unknown parts of the closest beach, until my spine couldn’t take it anymore and we went from the walking tower of Pisa to two smurfs thirsty for trouble making.
Everything seemed to click. Nature was silent and we couldn’t find anything to argue about or start a fight with.
After all, souls need but a little polishing to smoothly blend in.
No more harm was done by our rough edges or imperfect shapes.
While the Sun began parting, we were walking in a hurry to find a place where we can chill.
At one point we stumbled upon a bench, perfectly placed to witness the Sun sink below the landscape, so we pulled out the wine along with her home-made sushi and started to enjoy the privileges of being amongts the living.
15 minutes into the tasting my blunder showed face – the wine didn’t hit. Regardless of the careful planning and cooking, apparently the alcohol still slipped into the air without letting me know about it.
This alleviated our sense of responsibility, considering that the consequences couldn’t be severe – the soft sipping turned into ferocious drinking.
In the midst of all this a touch of it was spilled, and knowing the power of a wine stain She drew a tiny smile face on the bench, just to leave her mark on it.
Luckily we weren’t unprepared, there was another fine bottle waiting in the fridge, thrilled to be turned into pee.
As the Sun was crawling under the surface, it painted the sky red while She was holding me like DiCaprio held Rose on the Titanic, except that we were sitting.
When it left the horizon, we packed our things and walked back to my cozy pink residence to spend some time in.
Even though my room was fully furbished to appeal to a 6 year old girl in her barbie phase, we had many ideas to improve the conditions and make it a little more comfy.
Dim candle lights, soft music and a bottle of Spanish wine created a kind of harmony we couldn’t possibly buy for money.
If there is something that people value more than anything, it’s the undivided attention of another human being.
We had it, until the clumsiness started to take over us with each sip.
Since the temperature was similar to what they have in Hell (~6000 degrees), She borrowed one of my shirts to avoid melting in her own things. Luckily it was white, so when She spilled the deep red liquor on it, it certainly did not leave a stain.
When the bottle became empty, so did our ziel3.
There were many things we wanted to say, but we didn’t have the liquid permission for their release.
The depth of our understanding caused by the confessions brought us clarity, while we grew closer and closer to each other with every minute – not just physically, though an Olympic spooner would’ve envied the bond we made.
Scrolling through our very first messages She pointed out a sweet sentence paired with graceful giggling:
“I sent this from a toilet“
It couldn’t have been more intimate.
Soon the giggling stopped and turned into whispering, the caressing turned into cuddling, and just as the sunflower finds comfort by bending in the evening, both of us fell asleep.
“Life for each of us is a mere moment”
– Marcus Aurelius
Take care,
Erik
[Dutch Dictionary]
Tuurlijk 1 – Of course
Dus 2 – Thus/So
Ziel 3 – Soul/Mind/Heart/Psyche
When you think there isn’t anywhere lower to fall, that’s when you realize that the pit is bottomless.
Reality was hard to bear.
Regardless of the countless applications I submitted, none of them came back without the word “rejected“.
I mean, I would totally get it if these jobs were Girls who are 10 out of 10 –
But look, is there anything more ridiculous than that:
Precies1 – Not even McDonald’s would allow me to work there.
One could say, of course – that I had no previous experience at being a slave, so I couldn’t blame them.
“Oh boy, am I gonna laugh about this in 10 years” – I said
Anyway;
Achievement unlocked: Society declared me useless.
Since my day started out well by reaching the bottom of the kegs, I figured it’s time to turn to my favorite hobby again.
Namely: Gathering stuff people don’t need, but still have.
That’s when I saw something I couldn’t believe it’s there:
An entire collection of vinyls, more than a hundred of them.
I immediately reached out to the owner:
“Good afternoon, I saw you wanted to get rid of that Vinyl pack, and I would gladly liberate you from its possession if it’s still there.
Let me know the time when it’s the most comfortable for you and I’ll be there.
Yours sincerely,
Erik“
These sentences charm like the melodies of a Siren.
Turns out it was a home run, I was the first one who wanted to take them.
All I needed was an address.
Apparently the distance tracker on the site was faulty, and I had to cycle 70 minutes instead of the expected 20.
I had two options to look at this:
A) 2 hours of massive struggling.
B) An opportunity to take a small trip and explore the country, so I could score a piece of History.
It took about a second to pick.
In 3 minutes I was already on my way, with google maps in my hand and pop music in my ears.
Not even the strongest headwind could slow my pace, the mind just kept whispering:
“Free Vinyls, Free Vinyls“
Since the Sun was up and there was no rain, the journey was anything but draining.
I could admire the marvelous brick houses, ponds and parks as I passed them.
“How can a country be this amazing?”– I kept thinking.
Roughly an hour later when I pressed the doorbell a sweet lady appeared,
whom I greeted with a broad smile as she brought out the disks.
“Here they are” – She handed me a package filled with the legends of the 20th century.
It even included Brad Pitt with a mustache:
After packing them in, I figured it’s a not that easy to navigate my way through the Dutch traffic, since the extra weight in the back is something I forgot to calculate.
Becoming an echte2 Dutch might take a few years, but these baby steps will eventually transform me.
After all, bikes for the Dutch are what trees are for nature.
If they vanish, so will you.
Luckily the wind kept its course, so I had some help from the back.
The moment I got home and poured out the treasure on my desk, I noticed the price tags:
-14€, -15€, -7€
Multiplied with the amount of disks (~100) – It was an enormous wealth.
This set of vinyls alone was worth more than a 1000€; at least back then.
Regardless of how the day started, my attitude brought me out of darkness. I might have been rejected from McDonald’s, but the trip on the bike charged me up again.
Conclusion: Not once should we let our circumstances weight us down and prevent us from doing all we can.
Just put in the work, and the wind will eventually start to push you from the back.
Take care,
Erik
[Dutch Dictionary]
Precies 1 – Exactly
Echte 2 – Real
The sun was just about to set.
Her name appears, and my phone starts buzzing.
“What the hell?” – I mumbled
“Hey Girl”
– Come outside.
A brief silence followed, with this expression on my head:
She hangs up, I walk downstairs like a hobo – shirtless, with the cheapest shorts I had from my closet. I open the door and cross my fingers that I didn’t develop mental diseases which would cause hallucinations like that.
The second I stepped out, She appeared in front of me with grey hair, a pajama-set and the ugliest shoes my eyes ever witnessed.
“Nice match”- I thought. Our outfits just couldn’t look any better.
It’s been a month since we last connected, it was a sort of detox for the mind’s health.
The last time we saw each other was on the exact same spot where She appeared, 96 days geleden1.
All of this wouldn’t have been a big deal, if today wasn’t the day when I finished my first book in Dutch, The Alchemist – which is all about following the sings of the universe.
If you want to find your treasure, listen to the voice in your chest.
On that very day, the heart said it’s time to reach out and break the radio silence.
It was 8 in the evening, She came just a few minutes before I would’ve done that. The only thing I kept asking myself:
What are the chances?
The purpose of her sudden visit was still unclear, so we decided to go and discuss everything on the nearest beach. After putting on some finer clothes, I figured it’s the perfect opportunity to experience a bike ride with living luggage on the back.
Even if She stood still, it was just as fancy to navigate through the streets as if I was intoxicated.
Although I looked really hard, there wasn’t a single spot where we could intentionally fall, so we ended up at the lake unharmed.
It was just about time to have the talk, so I sat down on the left side of a bench and mentally prepared myself for the inevitable, but She decided to play guitar with my nerves instead:
“I WANTED TO SIT THERE!” – She remarked with a touch of fury at hand.
Being a male, the only proper response to that seemed to be a deep breath followed by a plainly fake smile and a series of gentle slaps on the remaining 70% of unconquered space on the bench.
“I just want you to know that you matter” – She began.
Sitting there, still a little confused – I turned towards her and started to listen.
During the next two hours She made me realize that it wasn’t one sided.
For the first time in 22 years, the imprint I made on someones sustained.
I tried many times before, but whoever I held close to me in the past forgot about my existence the second they turned their back.
But not her.
The Dutch weather expressed it’s empathy by tearing up a bit, casting a thick rainbow on the stretched landscape.
You know you’re a Lucky Man when even the sky starts sobbing on your warmest moments.
As the wind started to get stronger, it was time to leave and head back.
I had no clue what time it was, though with her it never matters.
The cold blows went through her bedtime clothing, causing her to freeze, to which the only possible reaction from a gentlemen like me was to shout inappropriate things on the street on full volume to tease her:
“MY TITS ARE FREEZING!” and “SHE SAID SHE ISN’T SURE ABOUT IT!”
You know well what happens when you declare that a Woman is not in the possession of all the facts (i.e. – She has been mistaken)
You cast hell upon yourself.
But the tradition of embarrassing each other in public had to be kept.
When I opened the door, I thought the surprise visit was over and soon She’ll drive away in the distance.
Plot twist: I was dead wrong.
Every time we wandered from one part of the house to the other, the distance between us grew slimmer.
If our hands didn’t touch here and there at certain moments, I would’ve been utterly confused by the ongoing events, but the saying about how the smallest spark can set an entire forest on flames seemed to confirm itself.
The more we talked, the thinner the barriers became.
At a rare moment of peace and silence, I would just stare at her as if it was our last minute before we join the dead.
She broke it with something slightly offensive, which ended up triggering a few gentle strikes of tickles, until both of us fell.
After the landing, She checked her phone; it was 2 am.
Time just can’t cease to fly with her.
At that moment, it wasn’t just us who fell, but the row of dominoes stacked by fate were already falling in masses.
It seemed to be something that couldn’t be avoided.
This is the point where my ability to answer with logic ends. The origin of these events are as complex to me as algebra is for a third grader. Fighting my own boundaries at these acts, I tried to find a way to show how much I care, but it takes time until I figure out how to express that.
When a sudden melancholy stroke her, the torment of having to witness her being in a state like that drove fear out of my presence.
At first, my mind couldn’t conceive anything greater than a kiss on her forehead, which turned into a hug, until we were wholly absorbed in each other – just like on the day we first met.
The book was still on the table, so I picked it up and opened it at a sentence I just read a few hours before all this happened. I placed it in her hand and stayed silent.
“Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.”
– The Alchemist
“Oh, so we’re going to argue again?”
– You just can’t stop looking at the rough side of everything, can you?
A broad smile signaled that She understood what I meant.
As we were sitting there completely blended, a strange feeling took over:
My mind was silent.
I wasn’t consumed in thoughts about the future, recalling the past or predicting the upcoming moments.
If peace was a source of light, I felt the sun in my head.
“Are you going to write about this?” – She asked
– Yea… When I figure out how to put something intangible on paper.
Even if you are good at weaving words, there are things you need to think about long and hard to be able to express them.
At those very moments of silence, it felt like the puzzle of Life solved itself.
The faith I have in unearthly things is extremely scant, but this one time the amount of coincidences involved in our case simply surpassed any reason or fact I could come up with to explain them.
Owning an identical scar on our knees, mirroring each other on the exact same places gives birth to doubt even in a heathen.
The rest of the morning went by experiencing a kind of connection that no other thing on Earth could ever bring to existence.
When the clock struck 6, the alarm went off and snapped us back to the real world.
How can 10 hours pass by under 10 seconds? – I wondered.
We could age decades just under a few seasons.
Both of us had to go to work, which meant the end of the sleepless leisure.
Before we left, I took a Polaroid picture of her; to forever preserve the memory of the day when the Little Bird who once flew away – came back.
“There are no beautiful surfaces without a terrible depth.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche
Take care,
Erik
[Dutch Dictionary]
Geleden 1 – Ago
Sometimes they’re tiny, sometimes they’re enormous; while other times they become a haunting memory of a lifetime which can (and will) rob us of our mental peace at any given moment of a day.
It appeared to be a casual spring Monday which didn’t require a lot of attention, so I could easily enjoy the wellness possibilities offered by the morning rush-hour in our beloved subway.
To give you a picture of how filled the metro cars were, just imagine a suitcase so full that you’re unable to zip it, while half of your stuff is still laying on the floor, waiting to get in.
The Hungarian public transport is a treat.
One of the most pleasurable parts of this experience is the aroma therapy, which is done by people with various odors and whiffs. Luckily their knowledge of the craft was well developed through a few bottles of vodka from yesterday night, or the lack of desire to take advantage of their water sprinkler as the days went by. To achieve ultimate harmony, the spinning fans of the metrókocsi1 would evenly distribute the scents all over the place, making it easier for all of us to equally enjoy it.
After years of training, none of the armpits or deadly breaths could disturb me.
When the wagon arrived to the place where I had to be, using tricks that would shame even the great Houdini; I managed to leave the scene, with no less than 139 ‘scuse me.
That was the moment when I saw Her.
Long, dark hair – wiggling at her waist, drawing my gaze upon her eloquent way of moving.
My pulse was still the same, until I noticed more and more details:
A spicy tattoo on her arm, paired with a punk-ish style clothing, deliberately painted black nails; and that beautiful swinging dark curtain she carried.
Back then, that was the definition of irresistible to my taste.
Both of us were heading the same direction, but the distance was against me. I could only admire her finesse through the mass in front of me, while my mind was already sewing the memories of our idyllic history, starting from marriage all the way to our first family picnic with the kids.
When the mob started to dissolve in the subway, I quickly realized that the only way to make this daydream bear fruit is to freshly act upon it.
As the moving staircase slowly brought us closer to the surface, I started taking faster steps with the intention of approaching, while I rehearsed “Carpe diem” in my most serious inner voice as a tool to fight fear.
When the first rays of daylight fell upon me, it was time to be brave and whisper “Now or never babe”
As the distance between me and the opportunity to score the phone number of the year started to shrink, my pulse intensely resented the amount of pressure this idea put on my body, but with every attempt to stop me, my steps only grew faster towards this graceful Queen.
She was just one step away, when I spoke up on a softly deepened voice to initiate:
“Hi, could you help me out with this?
then I pulled out my pre-set phone displaying a keyboard at the “Add new contanct” setting.
She turned around, looked me in the eye and said:
“I’m sorry sir, but…I’m a Hetero.”
After the shock my mind froze and before I could say that “I’m sorry, I thought you were a female” – my body let out a long sigh and expressed it’s disappointment with the words “Oh, okay…”, then I plodded away and tried to soothe my brain with the reasoning:
“At least I didn’t start to praise his ass, after envisioning him as the mother of my children while we’re having a picnic...”
Yep, that’s me.
Call me Silly, but in the end, I just love being a little clumsy.
Take care,
Erik
[Hungarian Dictionary]
Metrókocsi 1 – Subway car
Never let down the ones you Love.
Even though my financial situation was below the frog’s ass, my friends were there for me, regardless of how much money I had or made.
In times like these, basically anything can save a Life.
A smile, a short talk – or an entire pizza.
The fact itself that you can count on the ones around you gives you enormous strength.
My beloved Spanish vriendin1 offered to take me out tonight, even thought she was unable to get more than 3 hours of sleep during the past 48 hours.
How many of the people you know would do this to their friend?
Certainly a few, but not many.
She took me to the greatest restaurant in town, Happy Italy.
We sat down and she wouldn’t let me leave without filling my stomach with the tastiest dish.
“It’s all on me, don’t worry” – she added with a warm smile.
*Side note: I was hired here 2 months ago as a waiter, but the management didn’t prepare my contract regardless of the countless phone calls, e-mails and personal discussions I’ve had with them.
Being in a situation where I can’t afford to buy food without getting in debt didn’t move them either;
But in hindsight, it was one of the greatest blessing disguised as a disaster.
I have to say, after eating the same things every single day for more than 2 months now – it was incredible. Every single bite I had from that bowl was heaven itself.
The amount of luck I had for stumbling upon such great friends during my early days is indescribable.
After consuming the mightiest dinner, she banged her fist on the table and said:
“Alright, let’s play some pool“
She asked for the check, paid without hesitation and we left.
“Get ready to get your ass kicked, no fooling around this time“
Fierce competition, I must say.
As soon as we entered the pool area, the dim lights and the pop-music in the background put the mood on the right track.
We immediately got a desk, then she started to kick ass.
When things got a little hot in there, some unexpected situations would occur, where a completely missed thrust would unexpectedly put 2 balls in a sack.
She filled all the holes with the cue in her hand, and that made her a very satisfied Woman.
We are still taking about pool.
After roughly one and a half hour we would sit out on the balcony, so she could smoke a cigarette while I was gazing at center of the city.
That was the right time to propose the idea:
“If you had a wish, what would you ask for?“
– Why?
Oh lord, if I only knew why Women love answering questions with another.
“Well, because I’m gonna make it happen; in reality.”
– What do you mean?
“Pick something, and I’ll put it on my dream list.”
– Ahhh, your bucket list. Well, let me think.
“You know how it works. Whatever gets up there, will happen. There is no need to rush, take your time. Just don’t forget: There is only one, so choose wisely.
A week later she came up with the answer, and it gave birth to another dream:
– Travel to Hawaii with our Families with Claudia (#73)
It might take one or two decades, but the purpose of a bucket list is to fill you with memories, experiences and moments to look back on with a smile.
This will surely be one of them.
With a bright attitude towards our imaginary future we said goodbye to each other and took the road towards our beloved soft clouds (i.e. Bed)
For her, it was merely a short bike ride.
For me, it was supposed to be a 30 minute bus ride, if I only didn’t get on the wrong one.
At the first unexpected turn it didn’t seem suspicious.
“It’s a night bus, after all. Probably just touching a few extra stops to make it more efficient”
How naïef 2
The next thing I know is that we were heading towards some entirely different city, so I got off at the next stop immediately.
*Pulls out google maps*
“80 minutes by walk, cool“
It was 2 am, but my headset was charged – so there wasn’t really anything to worry about; No workplace was waiting for me the next day.
After 10 minutes of walking I left the suburb and found myself in a dark forest. If I happened to be attacked by a thief or a deer I wouldn’t notice a thing, because all I could hear was Narcissist by Rome blasting my ears on repeat.
Life could’ve barely been any happier at the moment.
There was food in my stomach, music in my ears, and I spent some time in great company after a few toilsome weeks.
As I started to get close to edge of the forest, I stumbled upon a farm, full of sheep.
I don’t think I’ve seen many sheep in my life (-well, I didn’t see much this time either, because of the abundant darkness that was surrounding this slightly uncivilized territory) but there was an entire flock of them, baa-ing as if they were practicing to sing.
If a tall wire fence didn’t separate us, I would’ve hugged those fluffy cuties.
A little later my path had a small turn, and as their baa-ing turned into weeping, I was pretty sure they were sad and saying bon voyage to their new friend.
This turn put me on a bicycle path, which could only mean one thing:
Civilization.
As I was nonchalantly walking in the dark, I suddenly found a golden retriever in front of me.
For the first time in my Life, I almost shit my pants. I didn’t pay any attention on the road, since who would expect to bump into a dog in the middle of nowhere at half past twee 3.
Unfortunately there was no food with me that I could share, nor a shelter I could give him. He was just laying there untroubled, without the intention to lick, bark or bite me.
After 15 minutes I finally met with the first streetlamp.
I could finally see, nay, I even had an idea where I was.
Taking the opportunity of the bright light and the vibe of the music it was time to do a handstand, because it’s not even 3 am and we’re here to do gekkie4 things.
In a way, it was very liberating to know that I don’t have to work the next day (in ~5 hours*), though it’s still disappointing that I couldn’t get a job under 2 and a half months.
As I was thinking about fixing the situation, so I could finally leave bread and peanut butter behind, a white rabbit ran through in front of me.
It was like a lightning bolt, he crossed the road faster than I can blink.
Just under the past hour I’ve seen a dog, sheep, white rabbit–
Nature put countless species on Earth, it’s weird to think about how lucky we’re to be humans, instead of flies or chickens on a farm eating dirt chips.
“I need to get a job” – I kept on rehearsing
I’ve applied to almost every single place in the city where they don’t ask for Dutch, but they didn’t need me. Luckily the social Life of this day gave me a huge shot of #stopbitching and now I was on fire again to get things going.
When I finally arrived home, it took less than 10 minutes to get in bed and visit dreamland for a while, after all – it was a long night.
The next day I woke up with the same enthusiasm towards Life that I had when I arrived here.
All it took was a bowl of pasta and a good night with a friend.
In that moment, I knew that good things were about to happen, I just have to hold on a little longer.
No good thing is pleasant to possess, without friends to share it.
Seneca
Take care,
Erik
[Dutch Dictionary]
Vriendin 1 – Female Friend
Naïef 2 – Naive
Twee 3 – Two
Gekkie 4 – Silly
Road to a New Life
Day 0 – Beginning of a New Life (#13)
Day 1 – A Pleasant Surprise
Day 3 – The World Through the Dutch Eyes
Day 7 – Tickling the Comfort Zone
Day 12 – Survival of the Fittest
Day 19 – A Spanish, an Indian and a Hungarian walk into a Bar
Day 30 – Colombian Blood
Day 35 – On the Move
Day 38 – Once Upon a Time (#5) 1/4 – 📷
Day 41 – Birth of a Chef 2/4
Day 45 – A Honeymoon Spent in Heaven 3/4
Day 46 – Diamonds in the Rough 4/4
Day 60 – Opening my IKEA
Day 65 – Rock Bottom
Day 75 – A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed
Day 79 – In the Sea of Rejections
Day 80 – It’s Always Darkest Before the Dawn
Day 114 – The Way of the Phoenix
Day 120 – A Dream of Fire & Ice
Day 124 – Home-made Plastic Surgery
Day 132 – The First Time I Shot Someone (#47) – 📷
Day 133 – Lil $tevie
Day 142 – The One Who Came Back 1/6
Day 146 – The Three Musketeers
Day 152 – Sunset and Serenity 2/6
Day 153 – Treasure of the Sea (#23) 3/6
Day 164 – Living the Idyllic 4/6
Day 179 – The Cure for Whining 5/6
Day 180 – The Devil’s Kitchen 6/6
Day 190 – The Old Man and his Ferraris
Day 207 – Home is Where the Heart is
Day 211 – The Bravest Bananas in History (#27 & #29)
Day 221 – The Masculine Flamingo (#153) – 📷
Day 237 – The Heart of a Homeless Kid
Day 245 – A Lunatic’s Guide for Building a Great Business (#158) – 📷
Day 267 – Rich, Dumb, (still) in Love – Matters not when Death Knocks
Day 279 – The Strength of the Spirit
Day 295 – Losing Yourself
Day 320 – Scandinavian Welcome (#35 & #42) 1/2
Day 326 – Lord of the Drinks (#35) 2/2
Day 342 – The Human Experience
Day 344 – New Year, New Home
Day 353/1 – A Day with a Millionaire – 3 Lessons for Wealth & Success
Day 353/2 – TED Talk, here I come
Day 358 – The Hero without a Cape (*#61*)
Day 369 – Leaving our Chains
Day 432 – Weight to Carry
Day 442 – Friends with Wings
Day 461 – Growing Up
Day 487 – Flying on Wheels
Day 508 – No Farewells
Day 548 – A Diamond Anniversary
Day 598 – TED Talk, here I come 2
Day 600 – Dogs, Sunrise, Friends
Day 604 – Psychedelics in Public
Day 626 – TED Talk, here I come 3
Day 632 – The Taste of a Tongue
Day 640 – The Dutch Legs
Day 642 – Golden Ticket
Day 695 – The Birds with Pink Ribbons
Day 700 – [Recap of 2020]
Day 733 – Road to the Youth (24)
Day 748 – Winter Warriors
Day 848 – Friendly Fruits
Day 933 – The Princes of Pinecones
Living the Dream
– The List –
- #5 – Date in English (2019.02.28 – Loïs)
- #13 – Move to a Foreign Country and start a New Life (2019.01.21)
- #23 – Charm a Woman off her feet (2019.06.23 – Loïs)
- #27 – See the Fireworks on August 20th, Budapest (2019.08.20 – Calum)
- #29 – Take a Banana for a walk in a capital City (2019.08.20 – Calum)
- #35 – Spend a week in:
- #42 – Have a cold beer and a great time with Fabián (2019.12.07 – Fabián & Ellenor)
- #47 – Own a Polaroid Camera (2019.05.17)
- #153 – Dye my Hair Pink (2019.08.30)
- #158 – Start a Company (2019.09.23)
“It is never too late to be what you might have been.”
– George Eliot
Road to a New Life 